Thursday, January 31, 2008

A bill to prevent fat people from eating in public!?

I know I've done this before, but ...



When I first read this one over at Junkfood Science, I had to double check to make sure the guest writer wasn't from The Onion. Or even the great new Fat Satire (FatSat?) site The Health Institute for Nutrition. I couldn't believe this was something real, or that any elected official could honestly expect to pass legislation that would forbid restaurants from serving food to fat people. That the constitution could somehow allow a state to yank the license of a business that chose to seat anyone who wanted to eat there.

Really, aren't they leaping ahead? Shouldn't they first establish a Fat Section and a Not-Fat section? They could even have completely separate facilities, so that thin people don't have to use the same water fountain. After all, fat is contagious, right?

end sarcasm.

My first reaction, of course, was a cold finger of ice up my spine. Sure they'll never pass it, it can't be anything but a gesture. But the fact that such a gesture can come from a person in a position of authority makes me very, very glad I live in Michigan. *

Basically this stump bill states that the Mississippi department of health is responsible for giving every restaurant in the state information on how to tell if someone is obese. They're non-specific as to how, but I'm sure it'll be easy. After all, isn't it easy to tell how much someone weighs by looking at them? They are then obligated to refuse to serve the bad fatty mcFatFat, and if they dare to do otherwise, their license to serve food at all could be revoked. Then once the fat people can no longer eat in public, they will starve down to a weight that doesn't offend the delicate sensibilities of fat-haters.

Oh stores...and genetics!

curses! foiled again!

So...should we start laying plans for the lunch counter sit-in's now, or wait to see if it dies without fanfare? I don't relish Mississippi in the summer, but it might actually be more effective if we're all in shorts and tank tops.

The funniest headdesk-hysterical part is that the bill would enact three days before the fourth of July.

Happy Independence Day.

Get it?


* Michigan’s Elliott Larsen Civil Rights Act prohibits discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age (any age), height, weight, or marital status.


Anonymous said...

Fat satire?


JoGeek said...

Fatire! brilliant :-)

Although FatSat has it's own built-in irony all it's loving in, "don't make me sit on you, then you'll know the true meaning of 'fat kills'"...