Obama names Surgeon General

Obama has named Alabama family doctor Dr. Regina Benjamin for Surgeon General.

This is a long-awaited-with-baited-breath for those of us who have been anticipating a fight against the obesity scare and its various trumped-up statistics. Dr. Benjamin is a family doctor from a high-poverty region of Alabama that was hard-hit by Katrina. It will be a HUGELY positive step if she can serve as an advocate for the most overlooked and underrepresented "interested parties" in the health care debate. It seems like the first thing on the chopping block when the budget gets tight is health care for the poor. Michigan, for example, has cut both dental and vision services to adults on public assistance for this fiscal year, and is talking about eliminating them altogether. There's some kind of freakish cognitive dissonance going on when the government cuts services when they're most in demand. It will be very interesting to see what happens when they have someone in a powerful position that has seen, first-hand, how health and poverty interact.

She's been awarded the Nelson Mandela Award for Health and Human Rights (1998) and was the first person under 40 to be appointed to the board of the AMA (as well as the first black woman!). She's an activist, an environmentalist, and a humanitarian by all accounts. She's a supporter of reproductive rights for women (despite being Catholic) and has reportedly worked to encourage medical schools to include abortion training that helps new doctors understand all the ramifications of the surgery.

Link to her clinic

Of course, news agencies are already stirring up a whirlwind of objections. Not to her medical experience, knowledge, or practice.....but to the fact that she's fat. Actually she's what the fatosphere would call an "in-between", meaning that she looks pretty average, but reporters inudated with the body dysmorphia of celebrities assume she's about to drop dead of a heart attack. Depending, of course, on which photo you're looking at. Isn't it funny how you can't really tell how much someone weighs by looking at them? Doesn't stop them from guessing...badly.

Somehow, of course, a fat surgeon general (or rock star, or politician, or actress) will somehow magically make everyone else in the country fat. Of course that's what they say they mean. What they might actually mean could be more along the lines of "how dare this fat chick be successful, powerful and visible!?"

Just as Sotomayor has been attacked for not apologising for her strong Latina-ness, Benjamin will be attacked if she doesn't apologise for how her body is shaped. She's already being attacked for being black; the comment streams on some articles are complaining that her appointment is due to her race instead of her qualifications. Come to think of it, Sotomayor had to deal with some douchehound reporters commenting on the relative weight of the canditates instead of their qualifications as well. Paul Campos's response was my particular favorite:

"For some men, the only thing more intolerable than the sight of a powerful woman is the sight of a powerful woman they don’t want to sleep with." - Paul Campos

Her position on obesity isn't readily found, which means it's probably not her
top priority. Smoking definitely is, however, since she's lost at least one
family member to it. HIV prevention is another possible point of emphasis because another family member died of aids-related illness. She mentions that her father died of "diabetes and hypertension," which since those conditions are so often blamed on fat (rather than genetics, inactivity, poor diet and weight-cycling) raises a red flag for me that she might make the obesity panic (ooga booga!) worse. The flag waves a little harder when she refers to them as "preventable diseases," since "prevention" usually focuses on (ineffective and short term) weight loss.

Having an advocate for the poor, a pro-choice doctor, an environmentalist, a woman willing to re-build a clinic twice destroyed in order to bring health care to a small town in need, a woman who understands the disparity of medical access not only between the rich and poor, but the urban and rural, a strong WOC, in this highly visible position is going to be hugely positive for this country. She'd have to hate on fat pretty severely for me to admire her any less.

SAAS (Sewing at Any Size): Shorten your jeans without looking like you have

Welcome to my Series on Sewing at Any Size. You can access the rest of the SAAS series by clicking on the topic link on the side bar.

The series is a form of peaceful protest against the terrible, cheap, overpriced, ugly stuff that passes for plus size fashion these days. Anyone can make basic wardrobe elements to fit their body without trying to track down commercial patterns (a nightmare for anyone over a US size 24).


As this may eventually become a book, please do not reprint or republish this anywhere else. You may, of course print for your own personal use!


How to Hem Jeans (without looking like you've hemmed your jeans!)


Scenario: The jeans fit perfectly, but are too short. Unless you have a machine that can go through four layers of heavy denim for a proper french cuff, you’ll be stuck with the dreaded “I can’t find clothes that fit me” look of a homemade hem.

Solution: You can hide the shortening seam right above the original cuff for a store-bought look.
Measure the length of the leg, then determine how long you want the leg to be. Subtract the latter from the former and divide by two.

For instance, if I have a 34” long pair of jeans and need it to be 30”, I subtract 30 from 34 and divide by two for a total of 2”.

We’ll call this number “A”.

Fold the bottom hem of the leg up with the right side together until there are “A” inches showing between the inside edge of the original hem and the fold.






Pin up, measuring every time to prevent the hem from becoming uneven. Stitch as close as possible to the bottom of the original hem line; the stitches should be almost right on top of each other if possible (Red dashed line below).




Right next to this line of stitches, run another line of zig-zag (/\/\/\/\/\/\) or overlock (____) stitches to prevent the denim from fraying.




Cut off the folded denim close to the zig-zag or overlock stitches, being careful not to cut the stitches themselves.





Fold the original hem back down over the stitches and iron flat.

SAAS (Sewing at Any Size): Sleeved Tee

Welcome to my Series on Sewing at Any Size. You can access the rest of the SAAS series by clicking on the topic link on the side bar.

The series is a form of peaceful protest against the terrible, cheap, overpriced, ugly stuff that passes for plus size fashion these days. Anyone can make basic wardrobe elements to fit their body without trying to track down commercial patterns (a nightmare for anyone over a US size 24).

As this may eventually become a book, please do not reprint or republish this anywhere else. You may, of course print for your own personal use!

SLEEVED TEE

This basic pattern is assuming you’re using fabric with high lycra or spandex content, or knit fabrics with a lot of stretch but that spring back into shape well after stretching. Stretch fabrics are trickier to work with, so get a little extra to practice your stitches. See the Fabric section in Part 1 for tips on working with stretch fabric.

This is an excellent candidate for using test fabric (such as cheap fabric or old bedsheets) and making a practice copy before jumping into the real thing. Shoulder width, arm width, sleeve length etc. are all tricky things to fit individually and you'll want to do trial and error on fabric you don't mind throwing away if something comes out too small.

Also, if you made the Cami top or variations on it from this series, you already have the measurements for the body, and could even use your test fabric pieces from that to construct the body of the shirt.

First we are going to make some adjustments to measurements. I’ll give instructions based on a scoop neckline, but you can substitute other necklines if you'd like. Eventually I'll get around to posting some, but until then there's google!

· Decide where you want the neckline to be on your chest. This will be “Point A”. Either mark it on your skin somehow or remember where it is.

· Divide your chest circumference by 4 and add ½”. We’ll call this measurement “B”.

· Divide your Bust circumference by 4 and add ½”. We’ll call this measurement “C”.

· Divide your Waist circumference by 4 and add ½” We’ll call this measurement “D”.

· Divide your Hip circumference by 4 and add ½” We’ll call this measurement “E”.

· Measure the distance between “A” and “B” and add ½”. We’ll call this measurement “F”.

· Measure the distance between “B” and “C”. We’ll call this number “G”.

· Length from Bust to Waist: We’ll call this number “H”.

· Add ½” to your Length from Waist to Hips. We’ll call this number “I”.

· Measure the distrance between “B” and the top of the shoulder. Add ½” and we’ll call this number “J”

These measurements are assuming you’re using stretch fabric and want it to be fitted. If you’re using non-stretch fabric add an additional 1” to 2” to measurements B, C, D, and E. This will give you what’s called “ease”, otherwise known as “can actually move while wearing”. You may want to make your test garment with up to 2” ease on each of the four pieces, then cut it down to fit comfortably once you try it on. It will help to write all these numbers down.

Fold your test fabric in half so that the stretchiest part is running horizontally. Sketch out the following shape to the measurements you wrote down earlier. (Trace and cut on the bold red lines. Approximate the general shape; doesn’t have to be exact)

Cut out two copies of the shape you’ve traced. Because you’ve cut it on the fold you should now have two symmetrical pieces for the front and back of the shirt. Unfold them and lay them together with the right side (the side you want showing when you wear them) together.

Line up the corners and pin the sides together. Stitch the sides from “B” down to “E” (per red dotted lines below). Then stitch along each shoulder. If you’re using test fabric or you’re not sure of the fit, use basting stitches (long, loose stitches) so that you can rip them out later if needed.

Slip it on and check it for fit, adjusting as needed.

Now we’re going to construct sleeves. We’re assuming long sleeves, but to make them shorter simple adjust the length.

Sleeves have a rounded end that allows them to fit over the shoulder without bunching under the arm.

We’re going to use the following measurments:

Upper Arm circumference (where it joins shoulder, arm down at side), plus 1” (we’ll call this number “K” )

Middle arm circumference: (bicep) plus ½” (we’ll call this number “L”)

Arm length (Shoulder to wrist, arm relaxed at side) (we’ll call this number “M”)

The basic shape for a long sleeve is this:

If you’re working with a commercial pattern you’ll have a set shape to cut out, but if not then you’ll have to do some trial and error to make the sleeve fit the shirt. The rounded end should match up with the edge of the armhole on the shirt, plus 1” for a seam allowance.

My favorite method to find the right fit is to fold the right side of the fabric together, in half at line “M” in the drawing above. Lay the shirt as constructed so far flat on the table. Line the fold up with the seam at the top and use pins or basting stitches to attach the sleeve to the sleeve opening, using a ½” seam allowance on both sides. When you reach the side seam of the shirt, mark both pieces of the the sleeve fabric with a pencil or chalk where they will meet.

Unpin the sleeve fabric and lay it flat but still folded so that the marks are visible. Draw a line ½” below the mark, down the end of the sleeve. Cut along this line.

Draw another line at the mark itself. Stitch down this line to sew the sleeve into a tube.
Re-pin the sleeve back onto the shirt, lining up the sleeve seam and the side seam of the shirt. Use a basting stitch to attach the sleeve and check it for fit. Once you’ve adjusted it, stitch over the basting stitches, then remove the basting stitches.

Finish the sleeve with either a rolled hem (fold up 1/4" then again 1/4" to tuck the raw edge under, then stitch) or french hem at the cuff. A french hem means you'll have to add an additional inch onto the original sleeve length. Essentially you fold the hem under (to the wrong/seam side of fabric) 1 inch, then back over the top (right side of fabric) 1/2". This creates four layers of fabric but gives you a visible cuff.

Finish the bottom edge of the shirt with a rolled hem.

Finish the neckline with a rolled hem

SAAS (Sewing at Any Size): Cami Variations

Welcome to my Series on Sewing at Any Size. You can access the rest of the SAAS series by clicking on the topic link on the side bar.

The series is a form of peaceful protest against the terrible, cheap, overpriced, ugly stuff that passes for plus size fashion these days. Anyone can make basic wardrobe elements to fit their body without trying to track down commercial patterns (a nightmare for anyone over a US size 24).

As this may eventually become a book, please do not reprint or republish this anywhere else. You may, of course print for your own personal use!

First a quick response to a commenter who asked about purchasing fabric online; I'd highly recommend that at first you use fabric from the store. Once you have made a study of what different fabric types feel and work like, then you can venture online. Personally I still buy everything in person, on a "I'll know it when I see and feel it" basis for selection. The same material can feel radically different as fabric depending on weave and thickness. The only fabrics I've bought online have been linen, broadcloth and quilting cotton since they're generally the same textures and weights across the board. For blend fabrics you'll want to go by feel. If you'd like, make notes on how various compositions hang. Some stores might even send you a "sample book" of scraps for a small charge. Dharma Trading, for example, will send you small squares of every kind of silk or cotton they offer for a small fee plus shipping (and you really learn how different the same composition fabric can feel when you're looking at pieces, all 100% silk, with textures ranging from gauze to burlap.)

PART 2: The Cami Top; Variations on a Theme

Starting with the basic cami design from the last post, you can do a lot of variations to add interest to the design.

Scoop Neck:

The easiest variation is to make the straight neck into a scoop neck. Adjust the original pattern as follows, adding a curve from the point of the shoulder to point A where you’d like the neckline to fall in the center.

Lace:
The next easiest variation is to add a strip of lace either at the neckline, hem, or both. This is, of course, easier with a straight-neckline cami than a scoopneck. Add ½” to measurement “F”. Instead of binding across the top, simply fold over ¼” , then fold again to tuck the raw edge under. Stitch in place. Take the strip of lace and sew the bottom ¼” onto the wrong side (the side showing the seams) all the way across. When you add the binding, sandwich the edges of the lace along with the fabric for a tailored look.

You can add lace to the bottom hem as well. Before you sew up the sides, fold up the bottom hem of each the front and back pieces by ¼”, then fold again to tuck the raw edge under. Sew the top ¼” of lace onto the wrong side of this hem (the side that shows the seams). Stitch up the sides as usual, then trim the extra lace at the side seam to ¼”.

Remember to include the width of the lace in measurements “F” and “I” when cutting the fabric.


Gathered Neckline:
This adds a bit of ruffle to the neckline without...you know...ruffles (shudder). Construct the original Cami pattern, adding 2” to measurement “F”. Get to where you’ve sewn up the sides but haven’t added any binding.

Next, hem the armholes instead of binding them: fold the fabric to the wrong side (the side showing the seams) by ¼”. Fold again to tuck the raw edge under, then stitch to secure.

Next, still working with the wrong side of the fabric, fold the top 2” of the front half over and stitch along the edge to create a long pocket. Repeat on the back half.

Make a long strip of binding per the instructions in this post, and stitch closed so that you have a long strap. Feed it through both the front and the back pockets (use a safety pin to feed it through, it’s much easier!). Try the cami on with the straps, and adjust their length until the strap on each side hangs evenly on the shoulders and the top hangs where you like it. You’ll be bunching it up a bit on the strap, so keep that in mind. Make sure the seam on the strap is hidden in either the front or back pocket.

With the cami on inside-out, push the fabric together to bunch up on the loops. Decide for yourself how much or little you’d like it to bunch. You may want it to bunch tightly to resemble a halter top, or just let it hang loosely across the front. Once it hangs how you’d like, pin it into place. Take it off and put a few stitches along the pocket every few inches to hold the gathers evenly in place.

Sleeveless Tee: I hate tee shirts, but love the slogans and artwork on a lot of them. Re-print sites like Cafe Press often have a men’s tee as their only plus size offering, when that funny quote would look so awesome on a plus size tank top....

One option for funny sayings is to make your own silk-screens, which I’ve done. The other is to chop that tee down to a tank. If you want to use binding, get about ½ yard of tee-shirt fabric from the fabric store, or (if cheaper) a tee shirt of the right color from Goodwill or garage sale to chop up.

Step one is to turn the shirt inside out and cut off the sleeves and neckband. If you’re starting with a tee that fits you well along the sides, you can simple hem the sleeves and neckline and have a wide-shouldered tank top. If you’re starting with a too large shirt or would like spaghetti straps, carefully lay the shirt (still inside-out) flat, then fold exactly in half. On the fold, trace out the standard pattern: Continue to construct the Cami per the original instructions.

Narfum, Narfus, Narfae, Narfi......

Randomness.

JD (out of nowhere, finishing a conversation in his head): I think it would be quod coitum.
Me: What?
JD: "What the fuck" in Latin.
Me: I wonder if I can get that on a bumper sticker?
JD: Of course I'm assuming "the fuck" acts as a noun in the sentence, hence coitum instead of coitus. I wonder if it maintains gender.
Me: I wonder what some of our friends would say if they knew we were lying around conjugating sex in Latin.
JD: Actually they'd be pretty shocked. Since it's being used as a noun I'm technically 'declining' sex in Latin.


Yeah....he can pun in programming languages too. How delicious is that!? Yeah, W, I can see you shaking your head all the way down here in Kzoo.

And for those who feel inclined (or declined) to jump for Wheelock's looking for the right answer, he's way ahead of you. It's "qui coetus". Or in normal use, "Qui COETUS!?"

And I still want it on a bumper sticker. Or maybe a tee shirt.

Body Awareness: Resentment and Reconnection

As an extension to my post on reconnecting to my body last week, I’d like to talk about resentment. I’ve seen a few posts on other blogs about how we’re used to treating our bodies as liabilities instead of assets. When I used to (and occasionally still do) go clothes shopping and find nothing cute that fits me, I resented my large body for not fitting into those clothes that only went up to a size 22. Because “obviously” it was somehow my body’s fault, rather than the clothing line designers’. As I consciously work to reconnect with my body I’ve noticed other, less obvious signs that I fail to fully appreciate it. For instance I push myself too hard on too little sleep, then get frustrated and angry (even guilty) when I literally make myself sick with exhaustion and have to “waste” an evening in sleep. When I have a project, or are on a walk/ride/hike, I often don’t notice my body’s signals that it’s tired until it forces me to acknowledge it through pain (and then have to limp back over all that distance I covered!). Boy do I grouch at my thighs/back/feet/whatever the next day when they’re too sore to go full blast again!

I resent my body then. I feel like it’s let me down, and I get frustrated when the grand plans in my head cannot be realized because of my all too human limitations.

Part of this is wrapped up in the morality of thinness, which I’m still shaking off. After all we’re familiar enough with the concept of “feel the burn!” and the need to, when you’ve reached your physical limit and your body is screaming, to do “just three more!”. Exercise, we’re told, is supposed to push your body’s limits, punish it for fatness or inability, burn away bits and pieces until it becomes invisible in a crowd. The diet mentality sets up the body as an enemy to be conquered, brought under submission to the mind and its’ desires. But with the body and mind as enemies, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” Sometimes literally if the legs or back are sore enough from yesterday’s workout.

I think that one of the next steps for me in body acceptance might be finding a new level of respect for my body as part of or partner in my life. My mind is just going to have to pace itself, because it’s not like it can go anywhere on it’s own. Maybe I’m curious to see what’s around the next bend on the trail, but if my body is already tired and it means I’ll have to run to get back to work on time, then I need to respect that my mind may be going places my body can’t follow. Maybe I love the clothes I can’t fit into, but my body is not to blame if clothing designers decide to ignore half their market. I need to appropriately channel my frustration into making them aware of their oversight. Maybe I like a clean house, or a perfect yard, but if my body really needs extra sleep or unwinding or time with JD, then going to bed early really is more responsible then getting the laundry done or the garden weeded.

It reminds me of when I first started Intuitive Eating. The first reaction, of course, was to eat all the things I was forbidden while dieting, and in great quantities. This temporary over-adjustment was to teach my brain and body that I really could have anything I felt like eating, anytime, and in any amount. Once the novelty wore off I found myself eating a pretty varied and balanced diet, still based on my body’s signals of what and how much. A happy medium was found, at least when it came to food.

In a similar way, one of my first giant leaps in FA was finding out that my body could do all kinds of physical things I assumed it couldn’t. Suddenly I want to run, build houses, canoe rivers, swim lakes, climb mountains, and make up for all the time I spent convinced that fat people couldn’t. Of course I’m not saying I’m not still occasionally going to ask my body for that extra mile, but instead of punishing it with resentment when it hurts the next day, I can reward it with the R&R it’s asking for through aching muscles. I’ve explored a lot of options, and while there’s still a feeling that I have to somehow make up for lost time, I think it’s finally time to find that happy balance between mind and body that I was looking for in the first place.

SAAS (Sewing at Any Size): Basic Camisole Top

Welcome to my Series on Sewing at Any Size. You can access the rest of the SAAS series by clicking on the topic link on the side bar.


The series is a form of peaceful protest against the terrible, cheap, overpriced, ugly stuff that passes for plus size fashion these days. Anyone can make basic wardrobe elements to fit their body without trying to track down commercial patterns (a nightmare for anyone over a US size 24).


As this may eventually become a book, please do not reprint or republish this anywhere else. You may, of course print for your own personal use!


Note that I'm not ignoring requests in comments. I'll get around to most of them as I have time to figure out answers. In the meantime I'm still running with what I already know!

BASIC CAMISOLE TOP

And now we venture into curves! This basic cami top will be the first in the SAAS series where we will be using more than just straight lines. As in the super-fab retro halter in the last entry, this could be make easily into the top for a swimsuit by constructing with lycra and adding a ready-made bra insert available in some sewing stores and online. As requested I will be doing an entry on swimsuits.

While cami’s are one of the few basics still available in most colors, I find that my biggest problem is finding the right length (I’ve ranted before about having a longer waist. Regular cut shirts are cut to look like belly shirts on me).

You’ll need stretchy fabric on this one. Look for high lycra or spandex content, or knit fabrics with a lot of stretch but that spring back into shape well after stretching. Stretch fabrics are trickier to work with, so get a little extra to practice your stitches. You can still use a straight stitch with the fabric pulled slightly tight (practice to get this without puckering) or you can use a zig-zag or stretch stitch on your sewing machine.

This is a very basic straight-front spaghetti strap camisole or tank top. As a part two (variations on a theme), I’ll show to make camis with scooped necklines, gathered necklines, gathered fronts, lace insets and how to turn that favorite tee shirt into any of these.

You’ll need a few measurements: This pattern assumes stretch fabric so it doesn't include any "ease" or fit-room. Measure with the tape close but not tight.

· Decide where you want the neckline to be on your chest. This will be “Point A”. Either mark it on your skin somehow or remember where it is.

· Run a measuring tape around right under your armpits. Divide this number by 4 and add 1”. We’ll call this measurement “B”.

· Run the measuring tape around the largest part of the chest. Divide this number by 4 and add 1”. We’ll call this measurement “C”.

· Measure your waist (where you normally wear the waistband of clothes) . Divide this number by 4 and add 1”. We’ll call this measurement “D”.

· Decide where you want the hem to fall and measure around your body at that point. Divide this number by 4 and add 1”. We’ll call this measurement “E”.

· Measure the distance between “A” and “B” . We’ll call this measurement “F”.

· Measure the distance between “B” and “C”. We’ll call this number “G”.

· Measure the distance between “C” and “D”. We’ll call this number “H”.

· Measure the distance between “D” and “E” and add ½”. We’ll call this number “I”.

These measurements are assuming you’re using stretch fabric and want it to be fitted. If you’re using non-stretch fabric (as for a silk camisole, etc.) add an additional ½” to measurements B, C, D, and E. This will give you what’s called “ease”, otherwise known as “can actually move while wearing”. You may want to make your test garment with up to 2” ease on each of the four pieces, then cut it down to fit comfortably once you try it on. It will help to write all these numbers down.

Take your test fabric (you are using cheap and ugly test fabric to experiment on before sewing on your expensive stuff right? Knits are a PITA to rip stitches out of later). Fold the fabric in half so that the stretchiest part is running horizontally. Sketch out the following shape to the measurements you wrote down earlier. (Trace and cut on the bold red lines. Approximate the general shape; doesn’t have to be exact)

Cut out two copies of the shape you’ve traced. Because you’ve cut it on the fold you should now have two symmetrical pieces for the front and back of the tank. Unfold them and lay them together with the right side (the side you want showing when you wear them) together. Line up the corners and pin together. Stitch the sides from “B” down to “E” (per red dotted lines below). If you’re using test fabric or you’re not sure of the fit, use basting stitches (long, loose stitches) so that you can rip them out later if needed.


Slip it on and check it for fit, adjusting as needed.

We’ll be using Binding again for this top. See the entry on making a 70’s style halter top for instructions on how to make the binding. You can use the same or different color fabric for the binding, but make sure it has at least the same amount of stretch as the fabric for the top. It can have more, but less stretchy binding can affect the fit. Experiment at your own leisure though!

Sandwich a strip of binding across the flat edge at the top of the front layer of the cami, then another across the top of the back layer. Trim each so that the binding goes right to the edge on the sides. Determine how long you want the shoulder straps to be in order for the cami to hang where you took your original measurements. Remember that the straps will go all the way around to the side seam (“B”). Add ½” to this measurement. (You can try pinning the strap and trying it on to make sure it’s the right length).

Lay each strip of armhole binding open and create a loop with the folded edge on the outside. Stitch the two ends together ¼” from the edge (red line in figure below).
Turn the loop back right-side out. Line the seam of the loop up with the seam on the side of the cami (at the outside edge “B”). It helps to pin it in place first. Following the sleeve hole on the front, sandwich the binding over the raw edge of the cami up to the neckline, overlapping the edge of the binding across the front neckline. Repeat at the back. When you get to the top of the garment continue stitching the binding closed all the way up and over the shoulder (red line).
Now hem the bottom edge by folding ¼” of fabric up, then folding again to tuck the raw edge under. Iron the fold, pin to make sure it lays flat, then stitch.


That's it! By the way, save your pattern pieces made from the scrap fabric (I put them in labeled plastic baggies). This basic shape is the building block for almost any top you make, so you'll benefit from having a piece already cut to your body shape.

SAAS (Sewing at any size): Super Fab Retro Halter Top

Welcome to my Series on Sewing at Any Size. You can access the rest of the SAAS series by clicking on the topic link on the side bar.

The series is a form of peaceful protest against the terrible, cheap, overpriced, ugly stuff that passes for plus size fashion these days. Anyone can make basic wardrobe elements to fit their body without trying to track down commercial patterns (a nightmare for anyone over a US size 24).

As this may eventually become a book, please do not reprint or republish this anywhere else. You may, of course print for your own personal use!

Super-easy Super-Fab 70's Retro Halter Top

The challenge in this top is not so much making it as wearing it in public. It is the classic 1970’s halter that ties in the back and has a string loop around the neck. The primary drawback for large-breased women is that it’s really hard to wear this by itself with a bra, unless you have some kind of fabulous specialty bra with transparant or halter-style straps and a transparent back (if so, please share where you got it!). One option, if a bra is a must, is to wear this under a jacket or sweater. The other option is to take the same basic design but turn it into a cute wrap blouse with the halter neck. I’ll address that later.

Here’s the basic thing you’re making: You need two measurements on this one. First the distance from your throat to wherever you want the top to hang (waist, top of hips, etc.) plus 3 inches (we’ll call this number L for length). Then the measurement around of the place you wanted it to hang to (waist, hips, etc.). We’ll call this W for width.

You need a triangle W x L

Now of course this was meant to fit the skinny flat-chested woman idealized in the 70’s, so if you have what so many lovingly call a “rack of doom”, (or as my mom puts it, were “blessed by the hooter fairy”) feel free to adjust the fit. If this really doesn’t cover your front, try this adjustment:

We still want the measurements L and W from above, but add a third measurement that is 2/3 of your bust measurement (we’ll call this B) and the distance between the hem and where you measured to get B, plus half an inch (we’ll call this X). Adjust your shape as so:

If it’s still not going to cover you, make the W measurement based on your bust and use darts (instructions in this entry) to fit it to your waist.

You’ve noticed that we didn’t add hem allowances to anything. That’s because we’re going to experiment with binding. You can buy ready-made binding at the fabric store, or you can make your own out of funky colors or better fabric than commercial binding (usually made from cheap broadcloth). You need a fabric that will crease well, whether it’s silk, cotton or synthetic.

To make your own binding for this shirt, measure the distance along each side. Remember your geometry and don’t assume it’s the same as “L”, as the hypotenuse of a triangle is always longer than a straight side. Measure your side and cut two 1” wide strips of fabric of that length.

With a hot iron to crease, fold each side in towards the middle, leaving a small gap.


If you’re using a delicate fabric, remember to put a piece of cotton or paper bag between the iron and the fabric to prevent scorching.

When you’ve creased both sides in towards the middle, fold the strip in half so that the two flaps touch.

Sandwich the raw edge of the fabric into the “fabric taco” you’ve created and stitch it closed.

Sew binding along the two short edges, trimming it to be even with the fabric. Then add binding to the long edge, but let the binding extend past the edge by at least six inches on either side (this is your tie).
For the neckline, fold under 3” of fabric (so that the extra fabric is on the back side) from the peak of the triangle. Stitch approx 1” from the fold.

String a ribbon, necklace chain, choker, or more (stitched) edging through the gap created. This ties behind your neck.


That’s the simple version of course. Here’s how to turn it into a wrap to give you a bit more coverage (while still baring those shoulders for summer!).

We’re still working with a triangle, but to help shape it we’ll be making the triangle out of three pieces. Note that there is a seam allowance, so you can't just just a large triangle into three pieces. Once you re-connect them they won't match up. Cut each piece seperately, but make sure any fabric pattern is facing the same direction on each.

Now this is a case where you’ll definitely want to make a test piece first, before using your final fabric. I highly recommend buying up old bedsheets and fabric at garage sales all summer (you can’t beat 10 cents for several yards of fabric). You can also often find cheap sheets or rolls of fabric at Goodwill or other re-sale shops, or ugly fabric on super-markdown at fabric stores. The practice version allows you to adjust fit. If you’re going to find out you cut something too small, it’s better to do so on throwaway fabric than the pricey stuff.

Lecture over :-)

For the width of each piece:

Take the larger of your bust or waist measurement, multiply by 1.5 (this is W). The math gets kind of tricky here on out. The width of all three pieces should each measure 1/3 W plus 1”.

For the height of each piece:

The peak of piece #2 should be from where you want the hem to the throat, plus 3” (we’ll call this F for front length) The highest points of #1 and #3 and the lowest points of #2 should be the distance from where you want the hem to just under the armpit (the top of a well fitting bra) (we’ll call this S for side length).
Now that you’ve cut these pieces from your test fabric (you’re using test fabric, right?) pin or stitch the two seams (where “S” is in the above diagram) loosely together and check the fit. The “S’ seams should come down your sides, while the corners of pieces #1 and #3 should wrap over each other and come right to the “S” seam without the whole thing being baggy. (note: if the difference between your bust and waist is large, you may need to add darts to make the shirt really fit your body well. See the instructions on darts in this entry on problem solving.) The back should cover the strap of your bra but the sides should not bunch under the armpits. Adjust the size and shape of the pieces until it’s comfortable, cutting new pieces from your test fabric as needed (which is why we use test fabric).

Once you have the fit right, un-pin or tear out the stitches holding the test pieces together and use them as a pattern to cut the pieces from your final garment.

Assemble as described for the original version above, sewing the two side seams together, adding binding to all the edges and creating the neckline fold. The difference is that you’ll want to make the ties along the bottom much longer, at least 2x your waist (longer depending on if you want it to tie in the back or front. Experiment!) .

Once you have all the binding on, put the garment on, folding piece #1 around to one side and piece #3 over the top around to the other side. You should at this point be able to determine where the long tie on the end of piece #1 wants to come through the seam in order to wrap around and lie evenly. Make sure the shirt is hanging how you want it to fit, then mark this spot on the seam with a safety pin.

From the reverse side of the shirt, iron the seam between pieces #2 and #3 so that each side folds back on itself. (fig. 1 below). Place a few reinforcing stitches at the top and bottom of where the hole will go, about 1” apart. (fig. 2 below). Then cut the seam stitches between the reinforcing stitches (fig 3 below). When you put the shirt on you’ll feed the tie string of piece #1 through that hole, wrap both strings around you and tie.

VARIATIONS:

You could also get the back coverage without the wraparound ties by sewing buttons onto the corners of #1 and #3 so that the buttons come through the hole in the seam, rather than the tie ends. You may want to stitch all around the sides of the opening to reinforce, and remember to choose buttons that just barely fit through the hole so that they don’t come undone by themselves. If you’re using a stretchy fabric you could even remove the ties altogether and simply stitch the corners to the opposite seams, making it a shirt you can just pull on and off.

You can also buy lycra/spandex and make this into a great swimsuit top as part of a two-piece. If you need extra support you can buy bra inserts to sew to the inside of the front.

WLS may increase bone fractures

A small study by the Mayo clinic as reported on Forbes.com showed that one in five people they reviewed after weight loss surgery suffered a bone fracture within 7 years, on average, after having the surgery. The group showed nearly double the fracture rate in post-WLS patients as in other patients.

"We knew there was a dramatic and extensive bone turnover and loss of bone density after bariatric surgery," study senior author Dr. Jackie Clowes, a Mayo rheumatologist, said in a Mayo news release. "But we didn't know what that meant in terms of fractures."

You mean they really didn't realize that an extensive loss of bone density would lead to more fractures? Isn't that, you know, why osteoperosis is a concern in the first place, because the loss of bone density leads to increased fractures? They didn't realize that by putting people through radical surgery that reduced their ability to get proper nutrition might, you know, also prevent them from getting proper nutrition? Like Calcium and vitamin D? That makes for the strong bones? really? Never occured to them?

"Additional study is needed to determine what causes the increased risk for fractures, the researchers said."

Really? That's very cautious and scientific of them, considering they already know that poor nutrition makes bones brittle. If only they could show the same caution in assuming the benefits of WLS in the first place, or weight loss in general. Or whether the supposed benefits of weight loss were really from the increased exercise, rather than the actual reduction in adipose tissue, since the benefits of moderate exercise have been shown to apply regardless of weight or whether they result in weight loss. But maybe that's too much to expect. Concepts that challenge the paradigm will always be received with more caution that those that support it. I suppose we should be happy that the article exists at all, or ecstatic that, aside from the link at the bottom, it's refreshingly free of the "ooga-booga FAT KILZ" moral panic mythology.

Recipe Box: Lemon sauteed asparagus

I think I might cry when asparagus goes out of season here in Michigan. It's the first actual vegetable to come in, so it becomes cheap and plentiful at the farmer's market and roadside stands, and oh-so-delicious. I got two half-pound bundles for $2.00 each. Each one was plenty enough as a side for JD and me.

When picking out asparagus, look for smaller, thinner stalks, not larger. As it gets larger it gets woody and tough. They should be a rich dark green with purplish tones on the tip. Your thumbnail should easily pierce the skin on the bottom 1/2" of the stalk with a crisp snap, and they should not be limp or yellowed (unless you're buying white asparagus of course). If you're buying from a roadside stand or farmer's market, look for the ones who store and display with the bottom of the stalks in in a pan of cool water. This keeps them fresh longer. Avoid the ones that have been sitting out on a table in the sun all day.

BTW, don't stick your nail into the stalk higher then the bottom 1/2" of the stalk. Someone else might buy them and fingernails are just gross.

Mine kept in the fridge for a week just fine, by the way, so you don't absolutely have to cook them right away. Of course mine were picked by a local farmer two hours before I bought them instead of their sitting on a truck from California for five days.

Wash well. Chop the bottom inch or so off the stalks (more if the stalks seem fiberous/woody.) Cut the stalks in half.

To cook up 1/2 pound (a good double-handful of stalks): Mix 3 tablespoons olive oil, 2 teaspoons lemon juice, 1 teaspoon soy sauce (optional: add 1 tablespoon sesame seeds to add a nutty overtone). I like to use a wok or non-stick heavy-bottomed pan for even heating. Heat the mixture on high until a drop of water sizzles violently. Watch this carefully as it goes from hot to burned pretty quickly.

Toss the asparagus into the pan and stir briskly and constantly. If the mixture starts to smoke lift the pan off the burner for a five seconds, still stirring, then put it back. The asparagus is done when it becomes a little bit flexible (but not limp); maybe 3-5 minutes. Pull a stalk out, run it under cold water for a second to cool, then bite to test. It should be crisp on the outside but yummy and smooth on the inside. Once you're happy with the texture, take it off the heat and serve.

I made this last night as a side for blackened burgers with melted feta cheese and black olives. mmmmm..... tastes like summer.....

Welcome New Readers!

I’ve had a few new readers around, both familiar with and stranger to the concept of Fat Acceptance. Welcome! It’s always humbling to find out that someone I don’t know enjoys my writing or cares what I think. I want to post a little bit about me and the purpose of this blog for those new to some of the concepts I discuss. That way I can hopefully avoid offending anyone when I have to delete certain comments.

This is a blog about me and my interests, but generally tied to the concept of FA or Fat Acceptance. This means that I will frequently refer to dieting, weight-loss, weight bias in medical science, the “obesity scare” and similar concepts in negative terms, contrary to their general social acceptance. FA, in a nutshell, is the concept that fat people are human beings, due the same respect and rights as every other human being. Frequently covered concepts are: fat discrimination in health care, employment, legal rights, education and businesses; the socioeconomic bias inherent in the modern “obesity” scare; disputing health myths about fat; critiquing badly done research or findings with inherent conflict of interest (i.e. performed by or funded by companies who sell weight loss drugs or techniques); and accepting the body’s natural weight regardless of where that weight falls on the BMI chart. Many books have been written on the subject so I can’t possibly cover everything, but a good place to start understanding where I’m coming from would be to read the links to “Fat Acceptance 101” at the top of the sidebar. They will cover most of the immediate arguments most people put forward when they first learn about the concept of FA.

This blog is a no-diet zone, as is my life. That means that even if a comment is wonderfully thoughtful and well-written, I have to delete it if it ventures into “I lost X amount of weight” or “I’ll bet XYZ would help someone lose a lot of weight” or anything I believe promotes weight loss, dieting or restricted eating. Even if that part is only a small part of the comment. That is my way of creating a safe space for people recovering from the diet culture (including myself). See the “101” topic on why diets fail to get an understanding of why. Neither I nor most of my regular readers are interested in losing weight, and most of us do not consider deliberate weight loss beyond your body’s natural set point either healthy or something to be proud of. I rather believe that accepting and loving your body, and deliberately working to change it, are mutually exclusive concepts.

Needless to say, I am not on a diet. You’ll see posts talking about healthy habits I try to cultivate in my life (i.e. a variety of good food, intuitive eating, exercise, quitting smoking, seeking mental well-being, etc.) and while these are usually associated with attempts to lose weight, that is not the case here. I try to practice a concept known as HAES (Health At Every Size). This concept isn’t a rigid system, but a way to be healthy within each person’s means and abilities (without the assumption that healthy = thin). It’s based on recent research that shows individual health is not dependent on weight or body size, but on lifestyle (which is not a determinant of weight or body size), genetics (which IS a determinant of weight and body size), and basic bloody-minded chance. I have been the same relative weight since third grade, despite many rounds of every form of dieting known to humanity (even dieting disguised as “lifestyle changes”) loss, re-gain, etc. I have given up the fantasy of ever being in a different body, and am learning to be healthy and happy in the body I was given.

A lot of the posts here don’t seem to be directly related to FA, because this is, above all, a personal blog. My life is more than my weight, so you’ll see series on cooking, sewing, friends, self-reflection and other aspects of my life. I try to relate them somehow to FA, but most of it is just living my life as my life, instead of defining my life by the number on a scale.

Please read the comments policy before posting comments. I do welcome positive comments! I also welcome certain disputes, although the core beliefs of FA (dangers of dieting, amorality of food, that fat in itself is not a health risk, that I don't need you to be attracted to me in order to be happy, etc.) are not subjects where you’re going to change my mind. Trust me, I’ve heard every possible argument you could make and repeating it isn’t going to convince me. It will, of course, force me to delete or reject the comment.

There are many posts on this blog that I hope can be enjoyed regardless of the reader’s support of FA. If you strongly disagree with FA, then there will be posts that may upset you. That’s really not my problem. Remember you were warned, and don’t try to vent your spleen in my comments section.

Finally, to give you other perspectives on FA (and to prove that I'm not a lone nutter) you may want to check out the many other blogs on what's known as "the Fatosphere". See the link on the sidebar for two RSS feeds, one for the original Fatosphere, the other for a group of blogs known as Fat Chat.

SAAS (Sewing at Every Size): Half-Circle Cloak

This is my SAAS (Sewing at Any Size) series on basic clothes that can be made for any size body without a commercial pattern. For other entries in the series, you can click on the SAAS topic in the sidebar category list.

As this will eventually become a book, please do not reprint or republish anywhere. You are welcome to copy/print/save for your own personal use.

I'm dipping briefly into costumes now, in time for the rennaissance fair season in the U.S. I'll get back to everyday wear (tops and dresses) next week after I've had time to do some up and double-check my instructions.

HALF-CIRCLE CLOAK

The cloak is the easiest, most ridiculously overpriced costume element you can find. The half circle cloak is the easiest cloak to make, and gives you a very full, swishy circular look with a front you can pull around and close in front.

If you’re under 5’ tall you can use 45” wide fabric for a basic circle cloak. 5’ to probably about 6’4” you can use 60” fabric. Anyone taller than that can try to hunt down wider fabric (shoot for a width about from your shoulder to your ankle) or deal with the fact that you will have seams in your cloak.

Cloaks need a LOT of fabric for that full swishy look. You need a piece of fabric twice as long as it is wide for the main cloak, plus some for the hood. If you’re using 45” fabric, get at least 8 yards (might be a good idea to get 8 1/2 so that you have a safety margin). If you’re using 60” fabric you’ll need 10.5 yards (or 11 with safety margin). This also means that you’ll need a big flat area to work on. I’ve found it’s easiest to vaccuum the floor, lock the cat in the bedroom and just spread the fabric out on the carpet. (Trust me on locking the cat up, they’re fascinated and tend to sprawl on the fabric just when you need to move it.)

Wash and dry the fabric (if washable!) before working with it, to prevent shrinkage. Cut the fabric down to double the width (7.5 yards for 45” fabric, 10 yards for 60” fabric). The extra will be used later for the hood. Iron out any creases or wrinkles.

Fold the entire piece of fabric in half to create a large square. Select one of the corners on the fold. Take a long piece of string and tie a piece of chalk or a pencil to one end. Secure the other end at the corner of the fabric (I safety-pin it to the carpet, but if you have someone to help you just have them hold the string down at the corner.) Make sure that when you hold the chalk with the string taut the chalk just reaches the other corner of the fabric on the same edge. You’re essentially creating a giant compass. Keeping the string taut, trace a line from one corner to the next, creating an arc.
Shorten the string to 6” and make a smaller arc near the corner. This will be the opening for the neck. (Note: if you have a thick neck or broad shoulders you may want to make this 8”)

Cut along both these lines. Open up the piece and hem the bottom and side edges by ½”. If you want a cleaner edge, consider folding the fabric up ¼”, then folding over again another ¼” to fold the raw edge under. Pin this, iron to crease and stitch.

If you made the neck opening 6”, you’ll want 19” of fabric for the hood. If you made it 8”, you’ll want 26” of fabric. Use whatever width your fabric is for the width. Cut the piece and fold it in half with the right side (the side you want to show) together (or use a french seam as explained in the next paragraph). Stitch one long open side (red line) and hem the other (black line). When hemming the open end, hide the raw edge by folding under ¼”, then folding ¼” over that. Iron and pin before stitching for more even results.

Since the seam at the back of the hood (red line) will be visible with the hood down, you may want to do what’s called a french seam. Put the fabric WRONG side together, so the part you want on the inside when wearing the cloak is on the inside. Stitch a ¼ inch seam along the long end. Snip any stray threads and make sure the fabric is cut as close to the stitches as possible without them actually coming undone. Fold the hood inside out so that the seam you just made is on the inside. Along the same seam, use basting stitches (long, loose stitches) a little over ¼” from the edge so that your original seam is tucked inside. When you turn the fabric again you should have a clean seam on one side and just a fold of fabric on the other. If you see the raw edge sticking out of your french seam, undo the basting stitches and try again a little further from the edge. Otherwise go back over your basting stitches with a straight stitch to close the seam.

You’ll attach the unfinished short edge of the hood to the neck opening of the cloak itself. Use the french seam described in the above paragraph, but make your second seam at least ½” to ¾” away from the first, so that a tube or pocket is created for a drawstring.

Since there may be a difference between the size of the hood and the neck opening of the cloak, begin by pinning the corners together. Then find the center of each fabric and pin again, then divide each gap in half and pin again, etc. Any remaining gaps can be captured in small pleats or folds when you sew the fabric together, but pinning first will make sure that they’re even.

To make a drawstring, you can either use a ribbon, leather cord, or a piece of the same fabric as the cloak. To do the last, cut a 1 ¼ ” wide strip of the fabric. Fold each short end in ¼” and hem. Fold the strip in half lengthwise with right side folded together. Stitch all the way down to create a long tube. Attach a safety pin to one end and feed the safety pin down inside the tube. As it works it’s way along it will pull the end with it to turn the entire tube inside out. When it is inside out, iron it flat and stitch both ends to close the tube.

Attach a safety pin to one end of your drawstring. Feed it through the tube created by your french seam when you attached the hood. Push it all the way through until you can pull it out the other side. Adjust the two ends to be even, and you’re done!

Body Consciousness

I went riding this morning, after a week of being thwarted by the weather and lack of sleep. Yesterday I decided that my body needed the extra hour and a half sleep much more than it needed to get up at 5am and drive out to the barn. I was off kilter all day. I was trapped in a staff luncheon and couldn’t go walking at noon, then over to a friend’s house that evening. This morning it felt really good to make my body move.

I’m not a morning person by any means, but I love the cool, quiet wet solitude of 6am in the country. No one’s awake, the deer are still in the fields, and Sunshine and I are the first living creatures to knock the dew off the grass along the pasture that day. Riding is hard work, if done right. For me it’s also centering and meditative. I can’t disconnect from my body when I ride. I have to be right there observing my posture and position and balance. I have to pay attention to which muscles are tight or loose, what bones I’m sitting on, and how I’m holding my arms. If I lose track of my body and drift, the horse responds with mischief.

I’m just starting to learn the difference between self-consciousness and body-consciousness. The former is tied to shame. You are hyper aware, not of your body but of how others might see or think about it (usually by assuming their reaction will be negative). While it may feel like your body is exposed, I don’t think your awareness of it is the same. There is an awkward level of double-vision, where the illusion overlays the reality of your shape and movement and your body struggles to decide which one it wants to live up to.

Body-consciousness, for me, is the act of connecting to the reality of your body without value judgement. There are thousands of automatic functions and movements ongoing in your body that you cannot possibly be aware of or control. As you type, the muscles of each individual finger contracts and releases with machine-like precision to strike each key in order to form words that express your thought, all without conscious control. How amazing is that?

I have the privilege of not living with chronic pain or disability that limits what my body can do. Unfortunately I’ve also reached a point where I have let too many things become automatic. I’ve distanced myself from my own body because I don’t have to think about it. Of course there are some hormonal complications from PCOS that interfere, but part of it is that I stopped paying as much attention to my body’s signals of pleasure, pain, wants or needs. My mind acknowledges that something feels or looks or tastes “good”, but I don’t actually stop and feel the sensation itself. Later I may have the memory of pleasure, but as if it was someone else’s memory. I am trapped in my own head and the litany of external concerns that occupy my waking hours.

Last Friday when I went out on my lunch hour to go walking on the Kal-Haven trail, my legs just took off under me and ran. I was walking where the trail bends through a woods by a little stream, and it seemed like suddenly the muscles in my body were all working together to propel me down this path faster and faster until I couldn’t help but run. I also had to laugh, because what a picture I must have made in my skirt, blouse and bright white sneakers, tearing down the trail like I was being chased and grinning like mad. It felt really good, and I actually felt it. All alone and away from anyone else’s eyes, I could pay attention to movement and balance and all the moving parts of my body involved in running. All of a sudden, with my mind connected to my body, I could feel the pleasure of the movement.

That’s what I mean by body-consciousness.

I’m still working on connecting outside of those moments of physical activity where I’m forced to be aware. I’d like to also learn to connect to thirst, hunger, rest and sensation. I’d like to be more aware of the little things I experience on automatic without awareness, like a breeze, or the texture of the carpet under bare feet, or the weight of the water when I shower or swim. All this towards the goal of getting out of the trap in my head and developing an awareness of the rest of my body, as an antidote for the half-lifetime I spent rejecting it as a place to exist.

SAAS (Sewing at Every Size): Men’s Ren: Peasant Pants and Tunic

This is my SAAS (Sewing at Any Size) series on basic clothes that can be made for any size body without a commercial pattern. For other entries in the series, you can click on the SAAS topic in the sidebar category list.

As this will eventually become a book, please do not reprint or republish anywhere. You are welcome to copy/print/save for your own personal use.

I'm dipping briefly into costumes now, in time for the rennaissance fair season in the U.S. I'll get back to everyday wear (tops and dresses) next week after I've had time to do some up and double-check my instructions. I'll also see what I can do about adding to part 2 of the Fixes for existing clothes, although some of the requests are going to be a challenge!

As with the skirts, I'll start with the very simplest Ren Faire costumes and move up from there.

Peasant Pants and Tunic

JD was quite a good sport and actually wore an outfit to the renaissance fair that I’d made up in two hours the night before. Then again he was probably the most comfortable person in the group both temperature and fit-wise. This is a very simple knock-off-in-an-evening peasant outfit that anyone of any age, sex or gender can pull off at a ren fair. Although I have to say that you can get away with wearing wearing almost anything at a ren faire if you carry a big enough sword. Nobody says Boo to authenticity when I have a five-foot claymore (named Clyde) strapped to my back.

The pants are the trickiest part, but as you’re going for a very simple baggy look they’re very forgiving of bad math. The basic shape you’re looking for is an upside-down L, like this:

A is the larger of your waist or hip measurement, plus six inches, divided by four.
B is the length from your waist to the top of your foot, plus 2”
C is the distance from your waistband to the crotch seam (put on a pair of comfortable jeans and measure from the waistband to the seam that runs down the inside of each leg and meets in the crotch), plus 2”.
D is the circumference of the top of your thigh, plus two inches, divided by two.

You will need 4 pieces cut as above (two for each leg). Use test fabric for the first draft and make sure it fits comfortably. Sew two panels together at C to create front and back pieces. Place the two pieces right-side together (the side that will be right-side out when you wear them) and sew the seams at B, e and f. Try the pants on for fit.

When the pants are comfortable, hem up the ankle cuffs by ½” and (with the pants still inside out) sew across each leg at the dotted line to make them taper at the ankle (make sure you leave room to get your feet in and out).

Fold down the top 1.5” of the waistband and stitch all around the waist to create a pocket for a drawstring. Follow the instructions in the entry on Making a Gored Skirt to add a drawstring waist to the pants.

For the Tunic, simply measure across the shoulders. Take 1.5 times that number, add 1” and we’ll call it W. Measure from the top of the shoulder to just below the hips and add 1”. We’ll call that number L.

Cut two pieces of fabric L x W. Hem them both on all four sides so that they’re all clean edges. Now place them right-side together (hems facing out) and stitch them together from the outside of the top edge across to about 1/3 of the way across. Do the same from the other edge. Turn it right-side out and make sure the opening comfortably fits your head and neck.


Now you’ll need a sash. I like to use the same material as the pants so that it coordinates, but you can use anything. Cut a strip 12” wide, long enough to wrap around the waist and tie. Hem the two short ends. Fold the sash in half (hemmed side facing outwards) and sew the two long sides together. Turn the sash inside out, then stitch the two short ends closed.


To assemble: Put on the pants first. Put the tunic over the head. Below each arm, fold the excess fabric from the back flap forward around your waist, tucking it beneath the front flap. Then take the excess fabric in the front half and fold it back over the back half. Secure at the waist with the sash. You are officially a ren peasant. You can generally get away with leather sandles and still look, if not official enough for the SCA, at least authentic and comfortable enough for a day throwing axes at hay bales and watching the wenches dance.

Recipe Box: Old Fashioned Chicken Noodle Soup

It’s cold and raining and my allergies are finally driving me to confront needles (i.e. allergy shots). I also had the remains of a roast chicken from our dinner Friday night. So I called my mom and got her recipe for real homemade chicken noodle soup. This was a mainstay comfort food of our childhood, and every Thanksgiving after the carcass had been plucked nearly clean she would get out the stock pot and make gallons of turkey noodle soup for the freezer.

You’ll need:

leftover boned chicken, whether it’s the remains of a bucket or a roast
4 carrots
3-5 stalks of celery
1 large onion
2 cloves garlic
either noodles or rice. I highly recommend the polish kluski noodles, but you can use plain egg noodles, homemade pasta, gnocchi, whole-wheat pasta or a wild-rice mix.

Large stock pot with lid.

If you’re making it with noodles use 3 stalks of celery. If you’re using rice, use the 5 stalks. As mom put it, “for some reason rice always wants more celery.” Use the whole celery stalk (leaves and all) for best flavor.

Strip any pieces of meat left on the bones. You can use the remains of a takeout fried chicken bucket, but pick off and toss any breading. Discard any stuffing or herbs still in the cavity. I stuffed this chicken with fresh chives and thyme from my garden when I roasted it, so that had to be scooped out and tossed so it wouldn't affect the flavor of the stock. Otherwise skin, bones, leftover pan drippings and nameless wobbly bits go in the stock pot, meat goes in a separate bowl you stick in the fridge until the stock (broth) is made.

Chop the carrots, celery and onion into big chunks (about 1”) and toss into the stock pot with the bones etc. Peel and crush the cloves of garlic and add that as well.

Add water until everything’s covered. Heat to a simmer then cover, turn down to low and let simmer for 3-4 hours. You can also toss everything in the crock pot and let simmer all day or overnight, but you won't get as much stock unless you have a very large crock pot. I make this during the week in stages, first night I make the stock, the next night I make the soup.

Strain through a colander into a bowl. Go through the colander and pick off any additional bits of meat you missed the first time. Toss them in the stock pot, then discard everything else you strained out. Pour the contents of the bowl back into the stock pot or freeze to use later.

Turn the heat back up to medium until the stock is simmering. Add the meat you set aside earlier plus noodles or rice, and simmer for an additional 20 minutes (longer for wild-rice mixes; use package directions). Salt and pepper to taste. Serve with crackers or bread.

Either the stock or the soup can be frozen in freezer-bags. It’ll last longer if you make sure there’s no air trapped in the bag. The stock can be frozen in ice cube trays, then bagged for use in flavoring rice, pasta or sauces.

The traditional chicken soup recipe leaves a lot of room to play with flavors. Try adding artichoke hearts or spinach in the last ten minutes of cooking, or maybe a little lemon juice, black pepper, wild rice and fresh asparagus. Up the garlic content and add cilantro and chili peppers for a tried-and-true cure for the common cold.

SAAS (Sewing at Any Size): Making Bad Clothes Better

I'm doing a couple of entries in my Sewing at Any Size series on troubleshooting existing clothes. I hear a lot about how there's great clothes out there that just don't fit anyone; here's a few tricks you might be able to use to widen your options. I would practice these first before buying brand-new clothes with the intention of hacking them up. Garage sale season is a perfect opportunity, as are clothes you would normally throw away or donate because of their lack of perfectness.

You can access the rest of the SAAS series by clicking on the topic link on the side bar. As this may eventually become a book, please do not reprint or republish this anywhere else. You may, of course print for your own personal use!

TROUBLESHOOTING 101 (Making the Best of Bad Clothes):

Part 1 of 2 part series. If you have specific fit issues you run into often, please post a comment and I'll see if it's something I can write out a fix for!

Problem: The Infamous Button Gap

I’ve been in the try-on room with the MOST ABSOLUTELY DIVINE OMG PERFECT BLOUSE, only to find out that when the shirt goes on over actual breasts there’s a big gap between buttons right at cleavage level. There are two easy fixes for this. They both begin by buttoning the shirt on a flat surface and pinning the area where it gaps so that it remains closed with the button line lying flat down the front of the garment.

Fix one is appropriate if you don’t mind pulling the shirt on and off over your head instead of unbuttoning it. Basically you take some thread the same color as the fabric (or transparent nylon thread) and make several small overlaping stitches at the gap. You may be able to hide the fix further by catching only the bottom layer of fabric on the side with the buttonholes, but this also has the potential to tear away on delicate fabric when it goes through the washer.

Fix 2 allows you to wear the shirt unbuttoned or take it off without pulling it over your head. Go to the fabric store and get sets of “hook and eye”connectors. They’re essentially the same thing you use to fasten a bra. Turn the shirt inside out (remember the spot is pinned into the position you want it). On the edge of the strip that goes under the other (the side with buttons), stitch the hook part of the hook and eye to the fabric with the hook facing out towards the front of the shirt. Your stitches go through the little flat loops attached to the hook (see drawing). Hook the “eye” (loop) part through the attached hook and make sure it lays flat. Stitch in place to the side of the shirt with the button holes. Try it on with the loop hooked and see if it lies flat (you may have to adjust it).

(Note: Fix 2 assumes that the gap is over the cleavage where the hook and eye won’t rub on skin and create a sore spot).

Problem: They Never Make Clothes in Good Colors

The fix here is obvious, in that the clothes may need to be dyed. If it’s cotton, hemp or linen then you can use the RIT dyes available at any fabric store. If it’s wool, silk or other natural animal fiber (other than leather or hide), you’ll need what’s called an “acid dye”. There are other specific dyes for leather and suede, and even for rayon. I’ve found the best source for specialty dyes is Dharma Trading, http://www.dharmatrading.com/ . They even carry natural vegetable dyes and ready-to-dye natural fiber fabrics (cotton, linen, hemp, silk) by the yard.

If you dye a lot, I'd recommend investing in a big stainless steel or ceramic coated stock pot that is entirely dedicated to dying. Don't use aluminum, it can react to certain dyes to create toxic fumes. This will save a lot of wear and tear on your washing machine.

Problem: They Only Make Clothes to Fit Tall Women!

The answer is to hem it, whether it’s the sleeves or bottom hem. If it only needs to come up a little bit you can just fold and stitch. If it needs to come up more than ½” then you may need to cut. There are several options for a finished look:

If you’d like a clean edge to the hem or don’t have a sewing machine, cut the fabric 1” below where you want it to hang. Fold under ½”, then fold again to tuck the raw edge under. Iron the folds for a crease and/or pin, then stitch.

If you’d like a cuff or visible hem you would follow the same process, except folding up in the opposite direction (towards the outside of the garment). Stitch at the top and bottom of the fold.

If you have knit fabric (such as a tee shirt), cut the hem ½” below where you’d like it to hang. Overstitch the raw edge. This means a series of small stitches right at the edge, with a perpendicular stitch looping over the raw edge of the fabric for each straight stitch. This keeps the fabric (especially knits) from unravelling and helps it wear longer. The overstitch function on your sewing machine should look like one of these:

After overstitching the edge, fold up ½” to the inside, iron to crease, pin and stitch.

Knits are hard because the stitches need to stretch with the fabric. If you have a sewing machine that can handle a double-needle you can use a double-needle straight stitch to give a tee shirt hem a factory- look finish. If you have a sewing machine with a stretch stitch (/\/\/\/\) then you can use that to finish the hem and it will look just fine. If you have to hand-sew, consider stretching out the fabric while you sew a straight-stitch so that the stitching has give. Practice on some throwaway fabric to get the right amount of stretch without the stitches bunching.

Sometimes you can’t hem from the bottom because of a print or pattern. Unfortunately this will take more sewing skill to solve since it means you must go to the nearest seam (armhole, waistband, etc.), cut or pluck out the stitches (there’s a tool called a seam-ripper that’s designed specifically for this), note how the seam attaches and take in more fabric. Re-attach the seam lower on the skirt using basting stitches (long loose stitches easy to rip out) BEFORE cutting any fabric; you’ll probably need to make adjustments. If this is the issues remember that there may be a limit as to how much you can take in before the look and fit of the garment is lost.

Problem: They Only Make Clothes to Fit Short Women!

This is one I run into a lot because I’m tall. Shirts that are designed to fall to the hips only reach my waist. Skirts meant to hit the ankle get me at mid-calf. Sometimes it’s hopeless, but sometimes I can fix it. Basically the fix is to add fabric. Some really high-quality well made tailored outfits are made to be let out an inch or so, but they’re not going to waste fabric in sweatshops making the clothes adjustable.

For too-short sleeves you have two options. One is to shorten the sleeves (see the last section) so that they’re ¾ or short-sleeve instead of long. The other is to find matching or contrasting fabric and add it to the sleeve. Hemlines are pretty much a matter of adding fabric, as are too-low necklines on shirts designed for the tiny-busted.

Fabric can be added anywhere: top, bottom or middle. Too-short sleeves are always a problem for me, so I’ve experimented a lot. For one design I cut the sleeve back to a little below the elbow, added a strip of lace (hem the raw edge of the sleeve fabric, then stitch the lace to the underside/hemmed side) then made a bell sleeve of a coordinating color. This is a bit of a romantic and flamboyant look, but might work for you. The strip of lace could also be a stripe of contrasting or coordinating fabric or ribbon. The same technique can also be used to lengthen the torso of a shirt or length of a skirt.

Sleeve Construction:

L is length from existing sleeve cutoff to desired cuff. Remember to consider ½” will be taken off each piece of fabric every time fabric meets, and allow hem or cuff fabric at wrist opening.

W is the circumference of the opening of the existing sleeve. Remember to add 1” of fabric for a seam when you sew the fabric into a tube.

F is the Flare, or however much you want the wrist cuff to differ from the point where you attach the sleeve extension. If you want a fitted cuff, make this a negative number (i.e. reverse the trapezoid).

Of course if you only have an inch or so to add, it’s much simpler just to attach something at the wrist to lengthen the sleeve. Check a fabric store for interesting trims, like lace, crochet, ribbon and other fun notions.

Problem: They Only Make Clothes for Gigantic Boobs!

The Dart is your friend. Not the kind you throw at photos of major clothing line designers who think all women look like fit models, but elongated triangles that make two-dimensional fabric follow a three-dimensional form.

The most common type of dart begins at a seam and comes out into a point. This forces the fabric to “bend” around the dart, create a form that hopefully follows your body. Not all shirts or tops lend themselves to darting, but quite a few can use darts to adapt to your body shape.

If a garment fits you everywhere except for being too baggy in the breasts, for instance, you’ll want to use horizontal darts to take up the extra fabric. The downside is that this may also make the garment shorter (particularly at the sides), so be forewarned. This is much easier with a friend to help, but can be done in front of a mirror.

First turn the shirt inside out and put it on. Use your fingers to pinch together equal folds of fabric at the side seams until the shirt feels like a better fit. Experiment with both the width and length of the fold, which should be wider at the seam and fold as a triangle with the point no further towards the buttons than your nipple. When you have the perfect amount of fabric pinched to make the garment fit you, pin it in place. This is your dart. Stitch along the line of pins, check it again for fit, then iron the fold to one side or the other so that it lies flat.



The problem now is that you've shortened the front of the garment, but not the back. You need to carefully remove the stitches from the side seam (again, using a seam ripper) up to the dart. Hem the back of the shirt to the same length as the front and re-attach the side seams.


Problem: They Only Make Clothes For Tiny Boobs!

For the opposite problem (fits the breasts, too loose below them) begin your dart from the bottom hem and keep it fairly straight until just below where it hits the breasts, then taper to a triangle (see second graphic above). This is a much easier adjustment as you don't have to rip any seams out!

If the clothes are baggy everywhere, the solution is to buy clothes that fit you .

Problem: They Only Make Bras For Tiny Boobs!

Darts can also be used to adjust a bra. If a bra is the right band size but just barely too large in the cup, take a small dart on both sides of both cups to bring it in and fit you comfortably. If it's considerably too big, consider taking a solid seam across the front. The downside is that the extra fabric from the dart might rub or create an uneven shape. It’s always better to get bras that fit, but for those of us who don’t have a week’s grocery money to blow on one, this is a good cheater.


End of Part 1

If you have fit issues you'd like me to tackle in part 2, please post them in comments. No guarantees that I'll be able to, but I'll give it a shot!

SAAS (Sewing at Any Size): The Peasant Skirt

PEASANT SKIRT

This is another in my series called SAAS: Sewing at Any Size. It's also the last style of skirt I'll be covering, but hopefully with the half-dozen already described you can have almost any skirt your heart desires.

I hope to help women of all sizes thumb their noses at the overpriced poor-quality ugly crap found in mainstream stores this year. Quite a few basic wardrobe items can be made without commercial patterns, just by applying a little basic math and undertanding how things are shaped.

You can follow the SAAS series by clicking on the SAAS topic on the blog sidebar. As this will eventually be a book, please do not re-print or publish this information anywhere. You can, of course, print it for your own personal use!

I love peasant skirts, usually because they’re one of the few styles that are long enough to hit my ankles instead of mid-calf. While the traditional peasant skirt would be made out of light cotton or linen that crinkles and floats, experimenting sometimes offers interesting results. This is actually what sparked the idea for this series, because Fashion Bug wanted $60 for a knee-length peasant skirt made out grey sweatpant material. Seriously. It did look cute and I might have paid up to $20 to save myself the work, but no more than that.

This pattern made up in knit will give you a more form-following skirt that falls down instead of out. You may have to adjust the height of each panel to compensate, so if you’re using knit try to use basting stitches at first in case it needs to be taken up. Heavier material is fun to work with too. I made this pattern up in a medium weight white canvas-type material (like that used in cargo pants) so that I had a hippie skirt sturdy enough to wear to Pagan events that call for camping, light in color (biting black flies are attracted to dark colors) but thick enough that I didn’t have to wear anything under it to keep it from being see-through (a must in hot weather!). I’m thinking of making a corduroy version just to see how it turns out.

I’ll start with the assumption that you want to make an ankle-length, 4-tier peasant skirt in lightweight fabric. If you’d like to vary this, use test fabric (such as cheap fabric or old bedsheets) to experiment until you have the look you’re going for, and use that as a pattern. Remember to use long, loose stitches (basting stitches) to assemble test fabric garments so that you can easily take them apart later.

We’re going to use the larger of your waist or hip measurement. Your waist is where you normally wear the waistband of a skirt; the hips would be the largest point below that. Pick one. We’ll call this number W for Width.

Now measure from your waist to the point where you want the hemline of the skirt to be. We’ll assume that all the seams between two tiers are going to be ½”. We also want to add ½” for the hem at the bottom and top and subtract for the waistband, so take your length and add 3”. This total number will be called L for Length.

You’ll be cutting 8 pieces of fabric for the main skirt, as each tier will be two pieces. Here’s how to calculate their size (and remember your high school math):

I used decimals instead of fractions so that you can hopefully work these measurements out on a simple calculator. Round up each measurement to the nearest ¼ inch to make it easy on yourself. I’ll give you an example:

For a woman with a 60” Waist (assuming waist is larger than hips) wanting a skirt 33” Long, cut the following pieces:

Piece 1: Cut 2 pieces at 32” by 8”
Piece 2: Cut 2 pieces at 48.75” by 9”
Piece 3: Cut 2 pieces at 63” by 9”
Piece 4: Cut 2 pieces at 80” by 10”

Now this would give me an A-line peasant skirt with a very full bottom. If I wanted something less bulky I would reduce the lower three tiers a bit, but never making a tier smaller than the one above it. I might do 32”, 40”, 50” and 60” to wind up with a bottom tier about twice my waist and reducing the bulk of the skirt.

Remember that if you’re making each tier out of the same fabric you need to cut all the pieces with the fabric facing the same direction. If your largest tier is longer than the fabric is wide, you’ll need to cut them lengthwise. You can stagger them to use the fabric efficiently, like this:

This means that when buying your fabric, you’ll want to get a length at least equal to the length of pieces 1 and 4. Make sure it’s wide enough to also do a 2” waistband.

Take the two halves of piece 1, lay them “right side” together (i.e. the side you want visible when wearing the skirt). Sew each end together to create a loop.


Repeat for each set of pieces, so that you have four fabric loops (we’ll call them loops 1-4 instead of pieces 1-4 from here).

On the wrong side /inside of each loop (the side with the seams sticking up) make 16 marks with pencil, chalk or fabric marker, about the same distance apart, beginning with the seams (8 on each piece). This doesn’t have to be exact, but try to get them relatively evenly spaced.


Take loops 1 and 2 and lay them right-side together (the side you want showing when you wear the skirt) with the top of each loop matched up. Rotate them so that the seams do NOT line up, but each fall about ¼ of the way around the circle from each other. Pin the seam on loop 1 to the nearest mark on loop 2.

Find the mark on loop 2 opposite the one you just pinned, so that there’s an equal amount of “loose” fabric on either side of loop 1. Pin the other seam of loop one to this opposite mark.


Find the marks halfway around on each loop and pin them together so that the inside loop is attached in four places:


Find the marks halfway between each pinned mark on each loop, match them up and pin. Repeat so that all 16 points are pinned together.

Using the sewing machine or hand-stitching, run a straight stitch around the loops, catching the extra fabric in the outer loop as small folds or pleats. The sixteen divisions are to make sure that the extra fabric is taken up evenly throughout the loop and not bunching up anywhere. Try to spread the pleats evenly in each section, but a peasant skirt style is much more forgiving of uneveness than a pleated skirt, and you may actually want to mix up the size and directon of the folds for a more freestyle look.

An alternate way to do this is to run very long basting stitches around the top of the larger loop using strong thread, and use the thread as a drawstring to bunch and adjust the fabric until it matches up in size with the smaller loop, then stitch it on gathers and all. I find that the pin method gives more even folds all around without the risk of the thread snapping while you’re adjusting the drawstring and making you start all over again. (This happened twice the first time I made a peasant skirt, which is why I came up with the pin method.)

Fold the fabric down and iron flat. Repeat for the next two loops.

Hem the bottom loop up by ½” from the bottom edge (either before or after attaching the top edge to the skirt).

Follow the instructions in Making a Gored Skirt for creating a waistband for your peasant skirt.


OPTIONS:

Add lace, ribbon or other trim to each tier of the skirt. If the trim has two finished edges (such as lace or ribbon) you can simply stitch it onto the skirt at the seam. If the trim is meant to be tucked, or has a raw edge, you can sandwich it between the tiers when you attach them to each other, so that the part of the trim you’d like visible hangs out of the seam on the right side of the skirt.

For fewer tiers or a shorter skirt, use test fabric to adjust the pieces until you have what you want. Just remember that each tier needs to be larger than the one above it for the gathered, peasant skirt look.

SAAS (Sewing at Any Size): Pleated Skirt (and curtains)

Yep, it's definitely skirt week! Since they're the easiest thing to sew I thought I'd get them all out of the way before moving on to more complicated things. The same basic concept can be used to make your own pleated curtains and valances, so I've included the basic instructions for that at the bottom.


For those of you first joining me with this post, I'm doing a series on Sewing at Any Size to address the general ugliness of clothes this year, unavailability of certain sizes, and the over-complicatedness of sewing patterns. My goal is to help people who've never sewn before actually make basic clothes to fit them without having to learn complicated techniques. You can follow the series by clicking on the SAAS topic link on the sidebar.

As this will eventually be a book, please don't reproduce or re-print it anywhere. You can certainly print for your own personal use (that's what it's for).

PLEATED SKIRT

Once you get the pleating down, this is actually one of the easiest skirts to make. Choose fabric that will hold a crease when you iron it (cotton, linen or blends with high cotton/linen content). You'll need to reference the information on waistbands in the first skirt entry here.

For the basic skirt you will want your waist measurement (where you normally wear a skirt or pant’s waistband) your hip measurement (widest point below the waist) and the length from the waist to where you want the hemline (we’ll call this last number L for Length).

Of your waist and hip measurements, which is larger? You want this to fit you comfortably everywhere, so no cheating! My waist is larger than my hips due to a belly, so I use that measurement. Multiply the number by three and add 3” (we’ll call the total number W for waist).

Cut a rectangle of fabric W by L. (remember to use test fabric, like old bedsheet material or pennies by the yard type clearance fabric, so that you can practice without ruining the expensive stuff!)

There are two types of pleat that work for this. One is the knife pleat and the other is the box pleat. The knift pleat will give you a more form-following pleat as it’s designed to fall straight down along the pleat lines. The box pleat will cause the skirt to flare out from the waistline, like a tennis skirt. Try them on your test fabric to see which you like better.

First decide which of the two long sides is the bottom hem. Fold up ½” of fabric, iron it to lie flat, and sew it closed (essentially, hem it). Hemming will be much more awkward once the pleats are in place.

Using a ruler or measuring tape along the top (unhemmed) long edge, make a mark every 1 inch with a marker, pencil or chalk. Number them from left to right starting with the first pencil mark (1,2,3,4,5,6,7)

Have a hot iron and ironing board ready.

This may be a tough visual, but look at the numbered marks on your fabric and follow along.

For the knife pleat: fold the fabric so that mark 2 touches mark 4. Iron down the crease all the way to the hem and pin at the top. Then fold the fabric so that mark 5 touches mark 7. Repeat the iron/pin.

If you notice the pattern so far, you skip one inch, then accordian-fold the next three marks together, then skip a mark and repeat. The final result should look something like this:


Note: While my lack of drafting skills makes the pleats look slightly uneven, try to make your’s as even as possible for a finished look.

For the Box Pleat, you still want to have your 1 inch marks numbered. Take marks 1 and 5 and bring them in so that they touch at mark 3. Iron the seams flat and pin at the top. Take marks 7 and 11 and bring them in to touch mark 9. Iron the crease and pin. Continue the pattern all the way across the fabric. The end result should look something like this:
Finishing

Using a straight stitch, run a line of long, loose stitches (a.k.a. basting) about an inch from the top of the fabric, capturing the pleats


Now, using the larger of your waist/hip measurement, measure along the top of the fabric and make sure the finished size is correct. Pin the short ends together (leaving ½” seam) and hold the skirt about an inch below your waist. If it’s too large, trim a few pleats off to fit. If it’s too long, run another line of basting stitches an inch below the desired length to hold the pleats in place and cut away above the new row of stitches. Remember that you’ll have a 1” waistband at the top.

Check for fit again, then close the skirt by putting the two ends together with the right side of the fabric (the side you want visible when you’re wearing the skirt) facing each other and stitching ½” from the fabric edge. This will create a seam that is only visible on the inside of the skirt.

Follow the instructions in the entry on gored/panel skirts for making an elastic or drawstring waistband for your pleated skirt. When using test/practice fabric be sure to use basting stitches so that you can tear it apart later and use it as a pattern.

When you’ve assembled the entire skirt using test fabric, mastered the art of pleating and made any adjustments to the size and fit, tear it apart and use the pieces as a pattern for making the final skirt out of good fabric.

Note: you can experiment with the size of the pleat by making the mark increments larger or smaller (1/2”, 2”, etc.). Use test fabric to see what the final result will look like!

ADD ON: CURTAINS

The same pleating methods can be used to make curtains and valances for your windows. For a set of two curtains, measure the window you’d like to cover. Take the width, multiply it by 1.3 (so that the curtains gather and overhang the sides of the windows), then multiply that number by three and divide by two. We’ll call this number W for width.

Determine your length (usually a few inches below the sill, but could also be floor length to add height to the room). Figure out what you’re using as a curtain rod (for instance I use eyehooks and lengths of ½” thick bamboo. It’s cheap and looks interesting.). Hang the curtain rod above the window. Take a measuring tape, drape the end around the curtain rod in a loop until you like how it hangs (remember to leave it loose enough to get the rod in and out of the fabric). Find the point on the measuring tape where you want the hem to hang and add ½”. We’ll call this total number L for Length. Look at where the tape looped over the curtain rod meets itself and note this number. This is the amount of fabric you’ll need for the curtain rod sleeve at the top of the panel.

Cut a rectangle of fabric WxL. Hem the sides and bottom of the curtain panel and follow the pleating instructions above. When you’re done, measure down the fabric by the amount you determined you’d need for the curtain rod sleeve. If you’d like to double check you can actually hang the curtains, pin them onto the rod and check the length. Run a line of basting stitches across the fabric where the loop will join to hold the pleats in place.

Make sure the top (rod sleeve) is folded in the same direction as the bottom and side hems. Stitch it onto the main curtain. Slide it through the rod pocket and you’re done!

Sewing at Any Size (SAAS): Variations on the Gored/Panel Skirt

VARIATIONS ON A THEME (Skirts, Gored/Paneled)

The first entries in my SAAS series (Sewing at any size) gave instructions for a gored (paneled) skirt without needing a commercial pattern. This is part 2 of the same theme, with variations on the same basic process. I’ll cover making an inset skirt, wrap skirt and a lined or reversible skirt.
INSETS

This is where you have wedges of contrasting fabric texture or color between the gores to widen the hem and create a “flippy skirt” look. The insets should be the same weight or lighter weight than the fabric of the skirt. The idea that these insets are invisible at rest, but when you move they flip open and flash the constrasting color or texture, then close again. This is best accomplished using 6 or more gores.

Follow directions for the basic gore skirt panels. When you connect the panels together, only stitch 2/3 or 3/4 down the trapezoid and leave the bottom unhemmed.

Flip the panels over and open the seam, folding the seam of each gore back onto itself. Continue this seam all the way down the skirt.
Measure the length of the opening from where you left off stitching and add 1” (we’ll call this L). Cut the contrasting/inset fabric into a trapezoid 4” wide and (L) inches long. We’ll call this the Inset. If the fabric is a kind that frays/shreds easily, use pinking shears to keep it under control. These are scissors that cut in a zig-zag pattern like /\/\/\/\/\/\ . You can also put a row of stitches about 1/2" in from the edge to control fray.

Place the skirt seam-side (wrong side) up in front of you. Place the Inset fabric right-side down on top of it. Pull the seam of the skirt open 3” at the bottom and pin it to the Inset fabric, leaving ½” of inset fabric overlapping as a seam.

Trim away the extra fabric from the inset (up to any fray-control stitches you added) and finish the skirt as usual.

EASY WRAP SKIRT

Make the skirt gores as above but leave one seam between gores unsewn and add an extra panel. (if using 6+ gores, add two or more extra panels).

Instead of closing the last seam to make a round skirt, just fold the raw edges of the two end panels under ½” and sew. You can also create a contrasting trim on what will be the outside/visible edge by taking a 2” strip of another fabric, folding both sides into the middle (iron to crease), sandwiching it over the raw edge and stitching into place.
Hem ½” from the bottom of all panels. Hem ½” from the top as well.

The waistband will be a little different and a lot longer. Use the instructions on how to make a drawstring in the section on waistbands, but use a wider (2”) piece of fabric with a length three times your waist measurement. Turn it inside out and iron it so that it lies flat. Attach as you would a waistband (but before sewing the skirt into a circle) so that equal lengths are left dangling on each end.

For a faux wrap skirt that stays closed, take the edge you want on the underside of the wrap and pin it to the second panel from the finished end. Stitch ½ to 2/3 of the way down the seam, letting the rest stay open. For a regular open-wrap skirt, skip this step and proceed to the next.

Where the two ends connect behind the wrap front, use a pin or seam ripper to pick just enough stitches below where the waistband meets the skirt panel to thread one end of the long tail through the hole. You may want to use a needle and thread to make a few extra stitches on either side of the hole to help reinforce it. Thread the inside waistband tail through the hole.


Wrap the two tail ends of the waistband around you in opposite directions and tie.



SKIRT WITH LINER / REVERSIBLE SKIRT

The technique is the same to make the basic gore skirt with a liner, or to make a reversible skirt that can be worn either side out. As the waistband will be a single material you may want to choose fabric that coordinates with it for the reverse side.

First you use the basic gore skirt pattern above to make two sets of gores. The second set of gores will be made either from lining material or coordinating material for a reversible look. Sew each set together seperately and iron the bottom edge as if hemming (do not stitch the hem yet).

Place the two skirts one inside the other with the seams facing each other. Match up the hems as precisely as possible and pin to hold in place. Try to get the gore seams to match up as well to prevent pulling.

Very carefully stitch the two hems together, close to the crease.

Make a waistband per the normal instructions, using whichever fabric you want to be visible from both sides. (note: you can also put a strip of this near the hem of the coordinating side for a cute retro look. See instructions for making contrasting trim in the section for a faux wrap skirt).

To attach the waistband, fold each layer inward/towards each other ½” and sandwich the raw edge of the waistband between them. Iron the layers for a crease and pin the layers in this position. Put on the skirt and check for fit and that both layers lay flat without bunching or bagging. Unpin and adjust as necessary before stitching close to crease.
Insert elastic or drawstring per the waistband instructions for the gore skirt. If you’re making a reversible skirt I’d recommend elastic, as the drawstring will be on the inside when you reverse the skirt.

That's it! You should now be able to make a wide variety of skirts of any size or length without ever touching a commercial pattern.

SAAS (Sewing at Any Size): Making a Gored Skirt

In continuance of my rant about the lack/price of basic wardrobe elements, I’m starting a series on clothes that anyone can sew without buying a pattern or learning complicated techniques. My intention is not to turn anyone into a seamstress or master of haute couture, just to help us all collectively thumb our noses at anyone who expects us to pay $60 for a simple skirt in cheap, ugly fabric.

As I go along, you can access the entire series by selecting SAAS from the topic list on the left hand bar of my blog. Eventually this may become an E-book, so while you’re welcome to print this for your own use, please don’t re-print it or publish any part of it anywhere.

At this point I have plans to do entries on skirts (peasant, gored/paneled and wrap), very basic tops and simple dresses, plus a few accessories like sarongs and scrunchies. I might get into some costumes later in the series.

While I give instructions for a sewing machine you can hand-sew most of these if you don’t have one (it’ll just take longer). You can also buy one of those hand-held sewing machine for $20 that only does one or two stitches. You do have the option of using fabric glue to put these together, but it isn’t the best option. Fabric glue will not hang as well, last as long, or look as good as sewing the garment with thread. You can give it a try on test fabric to find out if you think it’ll work for your look.

The instructions may be irritatingly simplistic for more advanced sewers, but I’m catering to the readers who don’t already know how to sew, while trying to include variations for those who do. Instructions are also in non-metric. My apologies for those in countries with a more rational measurement system.

Test Fabric

Always make a rough draft! Use super-cheap fabric or even bedsheets and curtains from garage sales to make a trial version of something before you waste your good fabric. You want to be able to fit, adjust, clip, or replace bits to get the best possible fit, and some expensive fabrics are very unforgiving of this process. Believe me, it's worth making twice to get it right. Once you have a finished test garment you can pull it apart and use it as a pattern. You can trace the outline of the pieces onto any fabric and make several versions of the same skirt; always knowing it will fit because you fixed any fit problems in the rough draft. Always use long, loose stitches (basting stitches) on the rough draft so that it can be picked apart later. When you make your final skirt, use a basic straight stitch (--------).

THE GORED SKIRT

Most of the skirts for sale are gored skirts, whether A-line, pencil or miniskirt. Gores are panels that are narrower and the top and wider at the bottom. The variation you see in fit, flippiness and patterns are all variations on a very basic model.

First you need four measurements. Your waist is wherever you normally wear the waistband of your skirt. Your hips are the widest point below that. The length from waist to hem is the length you want the finished skirt to be. Don't suck in your belly or stand at rigid attention for these measurements; just measure your actual body, relaxed. After all, fudging the numbers will only result in a poor fit!

Waist:
Hips:
Distance from Waist to Hip:
Length from Waist to Hem:

Next you need to decide how many panels you’d like. If they’re all going to be the same fabric I’d recommend 4-6 gores. If you want to make each panel a different color or fabric for a funky look, you can go with more gores, but remember they’re more work. You might count the number of sections between seams on a favorite skirt, or do a Google Image search for “gore skirt” to get an idea of how it looks.

I’m going to give instructions for a four-gore skirt, which is really the minimum for a good fit that follows the rounded shape of the body. More gores or gores that are wider at the bottom will produce an A-line skirt, while gores that are closer to a square will give you a pencil skirt. You can adjust the instructions below to any number of gores simply by substituting that number anywhere you see “four”.

Adjust your measurements:
Add two inches to your waist measurement and divide the total number by four (this number will be referred to as W for waist)

**Note that this allows 2 inches of "ease" to get the skirt on and off. If your hips are more than 2-3" larger than your waist you'll want to adjust this number wider. You can always take fabric off if you make it too large, but it's a PITA to add it ON if you make it too small.

Divide your hip measurement by four (this number will be referred to as H for hip)
Use your Waist to Hem number (this will be referred to as L for length)

Using your test fabric and a pencil or marker and straight edge, draw three lines onto the fabric:

Use the measurements above for the length/width of the lines. The distance between W and H should be your Waist to Hip measurement.

Now draw a trapezoid around the three lines, using W as the top of the shape and extending the bottom down to the end of L. If your hips are wider than your waist, make sure the sides of the trapezoid clear both ends of the H line. It should look something like this:
Now add ½ inch to every edge of the trapezoid. This is what’s called a “seam allowance” because it represents fabric that will be on the loose side of the seam when everything is stitched together.
Congratulations, you have a pattern! Still using your test fabric, cut out four copies of this, using the outermost (dashed) trapezoid for the line to cut.

Note: It may occur to you as a time saver to fold the fabric into quarters so that you can cut all four pieces at once. You can get away with this on the test fabric, but when you make the final project you want to cut every piece with the fabric facing the same direction. This is more obvious when you have a pattern (the pattern on half the pieces will be upside down if you cut on folded fabric) but even fabric without a color pattern has differences. The threads may be woven in a particular direction, resulting in a difference in the way the light hits it from each angle. This extra step of cutting out all the pieces with the fabric facing the same direction will result in a more professional-looking end result.

Pin the four gores together at the long end, ½ inch in from the edge (just like they’d be sewn). Step into the circle and hold the skirt about 1/2” below your waist. Does it fit well? Is it too tight or too roomy anywhere? Too long? (Remember the finished skirt will be ½" shorter when you hem it and the waistband will gather the top). Now is the time to adjust the size of the trapezoid. You can cut away more fabric from each gore (try to cut the same amount from each panel to avoid looking lopsided and remember to leave that half-inch seam allowance on all sides.) If it’s too small or short, you may have to cut new panels from your test fabric (which is why we use test fabric for the first try).

After adjusting the panels, fold the bottom of the skirt up ½”, iron it and pin or stitch the hem with long, loose stitches you can easily rip out later (this is called "basting"). Check the length again.

THE WAISTBAND

There are generally a few options for a skirt waistband without involving zippers or buttons. I’ll describe the basics of an elastic waistband and a drawstring waistband (we’ll address wrap skirts and ties in another entry).

Add three inches to your waist measurement. This should be the same as the circumference of the finished skirt plus one inch. Cut a two inch wide strip of fabric to this length.

Skip the next step (adding fusible interfacing) for your test fabric skirt if you'd like, but follow the directions in the final version. If you're only working with your test fabric, skip down to where you stitch the two ends of the waistband together. If you're using test fabric make sure you use the basting stitches (long, loose stitches that are easy to rip out later). When making your final skirt, use a standard straight stitch.

Lightweight fusible interfacing is available at any fabric store and many box stores that have a craft section. It is a layer of synthetic material that irons onto your fabric to make it stronger and help it hold it's shape. Cut a length of it to the same dimensions as the fabric (you can lay one on top of the other and cut both at once).

Follow the instructions on the fusible interfacing. Generally there’ll be a coated and plain side to the fusible fabric. One has heat-activated adhesive that melts onto your fabric. Place this side against the “backside” of your fabric (the side you don’t want to show, also known as the “wrong side”)

(Note: if you’re using synthetic fabric, place a square of test fabric (preferably cotton) or a square cut from a paper grocery bag between the iron and the fusible. This will protect your real fabric from melting or scorching).

Iron the fusible onto the wrong side of the fabric per the instructions on the package. You’re done when you cannot separate the two with gentle tugging.

Fold the raw edges of the waistband over the fusible (about ¼”) and stitch to create a clean edge.

Stitch the two ends of the waistband flat together like this, leaving 1/4” seam allowance:


Now take the loop of fabric and fold it lengthwise with the fusible on the inside so that you have a 1” wide loop of folded fabric. Iron this so that it has a nice crease (use the protective square of paper or fabric as needed, to keep your fabric from melting or getting shiny with the heat).

To attach the waistband to the skirt, you want to turn the skirt right-side out (so that the other seams are inside. You will be pinning the waistband upside down on the right side of the skirt, so that when it’s flipped up into position the seam will be on the inside. That’s easier to show than to explain, so here’s the step-by-step.

First you will turn the skirt right-side out (the way you’d wear it, with the seams on the inside).

Then you place the waistband like so (dashed line is the raw edge, solid line is the folded crease):


Pin the waistband where it is, with the raw edge matching up to the top edge of your skirt gores. When it is matched up, stitch it onto the skirt.


Flip the creased edge of the waistband up so that the seam is turned inwards like the seams between the skirt gores. Iron it so that it lies flat.

Drawstring:

This can be a length of ribbon or string, or you can make it from the same fabric as the skirt. Simply cut a thin (1/2” to 1”) strip of fabric one and a half times the length of the waistband. Fold it in half lengthwise with the “right” side together (i.e. it’ll look inside out). Run it through the sewing machine to stitch down the long side, leaving both ends open (like a long tube.)

Attach a safety pin to one end of the fabric and tuck it inside the tube. You’ll be turning the fabric tube inside out. Feed fabric onto the safety pin and slip it over itself so that the safety pin moves down the tube. When you get to the other end you should be able to just pull on the safety pin and the whole tube will turn inside out. Once it does, tuck the ends under and stitch the tube closed (or knot it).

Elastic:

Depending on the size and stretch of the stretch of the elastic you choose, your length may vary. The absolute simplest way to cut the elastic to the proper length is to wrap it around your waist. It should fit comfortably without being so loose it falls off. Generally you’ll want it at about half it’s maximum stretch. When you determine that length, add ½” and cut.

Feeding Elastic or drawstring:

Find the seam where you sewed the two ends of the waistband together. Use a pin or seam-ripper to remove several stitches (just enough to fit the large safety pin through the opening).

Pin one end of the drawstring or elastic to the waistband. If it slips inside you’ll have to pull the whole thing out and start over. Pin the large safety pin to the other end and push it through the opening in the waistband seam. Continue to feed it through the waistband (if using elastic make sure it’s not twisting as you feed) until you come around and back through the original opening.

If you’re using a drawstring you need only even out the ends and you’re done!

If you’re using elastic, you need to make sure the elastic lies flat all the way around the waistband and hasn’t twisted anywhere. Pull a good length of elastic on both ends so that you can work with it without the skirt getting in the way. Lay one end flat across the other end, overlapping by ½”. Run through the machine several times, or hand stitch several lines across the overlap as so:


Tuck the elastic through the opening in the waistband and make a few small stitches (this is easiest to do by hand) to close the opening in the seam. You’re done!

FINAL SKIRT

Pick the skirt apart and use the gores you adjusted as a pattern piece to cut the fabric you’ve chosen for your final skirt. Follow the same directions as for making a test skirt and you should have a fabulous something that fits you just right.

A summer of clothes

So every now and then a co-worker will have something delivered to the office instead of their house for various reasons, and of course the address is immediately flogged to every retailer with a catalog. I save them up to flip through on my breaks and holy crap, can we say ugly clothes this summer?

A lot of stuff is made deliberately to look awkwardly homemade (i.e. the hippy look). I figure if they want to charge me $60 for a dress that looks like it was made from leftover quilting cotton, I might as well buy the fabric and make it myself. At least then I know it’ll fit I suppose it’s a perk since it means my homemade clothes might pass for store-bought.

Also, I know it’s a heartbreak for you short-waisted folks, but I’m ecstatic to see more tunics creeping in through the ubiquitous empire waists and babydolls. “But empire waists look good on everyone!” you cry? Well, no. Some of us are mostly torso and belly, so an empire waist makes me look like an overbalanced 9-month pregnant mushroom. Regular length shirts meant to hem at the hips look like belly shirts on me. I need tunics!

Anyway, despite the horror that is the clothing catalogs, I’ve found a few things I’m geeked about.

This Polka-dot surplice swing dress from Torrid is screaming my name. Can’t you hear it? It calls to me....

This short sleeve wrap blouse from Kiyonna is very much mine someday.

I love the return of halter tops...I have the shoulders for it, now I need the halter-strap bras.

Speaking of Bras, Fruit of the Loom is finally making inexpensive sports bras up to size 44 in a 3 pack for around $10. I bought them to take camping/hiking and they're marvelously comfortable. I don't think they'd fit very well for anyone over a D cup, but as a C (sometimes D) I can attest that they don't give me the "Uniboob" look most sports bras manage.

Beyond that I’m stuck with patterns, really. I’ve got boatloads of fabric in the attic waiting for something to be done. Basic gored and pleated skirts are a snap to put together so that might be my wardrobe focus for the summer. I’ve got a few good patterns for cute dresses and wrap-tops sitting around collecting dust. I think I’ll just take control of my look right out of the hands of retailers this year and especially out of the hands of retailers who think every fat woman needs to wear knit-look tents and shapeless drab, or layers of tacky ruffles in odd places and giant fabric flowers. (ahem..Roamans...ahem)...

MeMe Roth and Anorexia

Life on Fatz already covered MeMe Roth’s equating eating food with rape, which is on a level of F’d up I haven’t seen yet. I want to cover another problem that came up in the interview.

I have a hate-hate relationship with the article in general. The first hate is that they are giving this woman attention, despite her complete lack of credibility or expertise. (Fat parents and a job as an “image consultant” does not a health expert make). She portrays herself as a modern Jeanne D’arc leading the people from death, and the last thing you want to do with a hate-mongerer crazy for publicity is to give them publicity. For some reason the media seem to fawn on her, but I’m not sure if it’s because of body-envy or because she’s spewing the vitriol they’re secretly afraid to say because they know it’s nasty and bigoted. At least this reporter is careful to emphasize that she’s the only nut job in her particular bag ‘o trail mix. Second, of course, is that the reporter has to give the obligatory paragraph-long crunch on Death Fat, trotting out the same statistics that have been disproven for years but are still stacked somewhere in a fact-check file for reporters to reference.

Now for the reason why I even bothered to click over to it. This interview casts a light on MeMe’s disturbing intensity of fanaticism. First she refuses to meet the reporter anywhere that serves food. She shows up in a tightly belted coat she refuses to take off. She talks about shame trauma as a child which she centers on the weight of her relatives. She’s highly uncomfortable talking about her own eating. She says she doesn’t do breakfast, halfway admits to not often eating lunch, won’t or can’t name a food she does eat other than black beans, brags that she runs four miles a day, sometimes doesn’t allow herself to eat until after she’s run four miles a day, and as of the 3:30 interview had not eaten anything that day.

Now I’m not an expert either, but doesn’t this quack a whole helluva lot like anorexia?

I’ve spent as much time as anyone in disgust and sometimes anger over this woman and her unproductive bile, but is it possible that instead of just being a nasty, hateful human being she might also/instead be seriously ill? There’s also the risk that if she is anorexic as she comes across in this interview, that she’s passing dangerous behaviours on to others via her “private nutrition counselling business”.

There’s a point where sometimes an aversion becomes pathological. I can see where a lifetime associating fat with shame and pain could warp into disordered eating, which then would need to be self-justified. By encouraging disordered eating in others she would validate her own illness to herself. I wonder what she’s doing to her daughters, as an example? What would she do if one of her own children picked up a gene for fatness from their grandparents or great-grandparents? Would she be willing to watch or force her own daughters to run four miles a day on no food? Give the daughter her own childhood of shame and abuse (this time external instead of internal)? I would hate to think there’s that kind of evil in the world sitting in plain sight.

Book Review: Lessons From the Fatosphere

Book Review: "Lessons From the Fat-O-Sphere" by Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby

I picked it up at Barnes and Nobles, in the Diet section (ironic, but perhaps good since someone might grab it by mistake while hunting for new ways to starve themselves). JD flipped through it in the store, read a couple of paragraphs at random, then bought his own copy so he didn’t have to wait for me to finish mine. Every now and then I hear him laughing in the other room when he hits something witty.

The book is definitely an ideal FA 101, covering almost every major concept a newbie would encounter in the fatosphere and explaining it clearly in everyday language. They address health (physical and mental), media criticism, self-acceptance and defense, diversity, clothes, relationships, etc. and give resources for further reading and/or surfing. This is the book I’m lending out to every dieter I can convince to read it.

FAVORITES:

Chapter 12: “Don’t believe that only sick freaks would want to date fat women.”
This really, really struck home for me. I’ve been in discussions of the pros and cons of the fetishization of fat, feederism, fat-fanciers, etc. and still carried around a part of me that said if someone’s attracted to me, there must be something wrong with them. I’m still doing some wrangling with that belief, but this chapter is definitely a win.

Particular love goes out to this: “But unless everyone involved is cheerfully polyamorous, do not date people who aren’t single.” Having been in both monogamous and poly relationships, and having some poly friends in a group marriage who encounter not a few blocks because of it, I really love that line. Even if it was meant to be sarcastic.

Chapter 24: “Get over yourself! They really, really aren’t all looking at you!”
This chapter hit me with a clue-by-four right where I needed it right now. My summer is devoted to incorporating this concept into my paradigm; that what other people do, say or think has nothing to do with me.

Some of the other ideas in the book may not strike everyone as important until they get put into effect. Not watching TV? Having unplugged my cable and begun only watching shows I can get commercial free on DVD, I can attest to the difference it makes. A surprising amount of mental energy gets used up in the battle against the social dogma of dieting. That energy could be better directed if you weren’t bombarded by the constant diet ads on TV. I would personally add the suggestion to listen to CD’s or MP3’s instead of the radio, or listen to a commercial free channel like public radio that may occasionally cover fat-prejudiced “news” or “research”, but is generally safe. The ads aren’t as bad on radio as TV but they’re there, and most disk jockeys lay on the fat jokes pretty heavy (no pun intended).

CRITICISM:

The one thing I noticed is that there’s not a lot about/for fat men in here. Granted the authors are women, but they’re also white and manage to at least touch on the unique struggles with body image for women of color (in a fantastic guest essay by Julia Starkey). Were Paul Campos, Paul McAleer, or any of the other big men in FA (pun intended) asked for contribution, or did they just not want to participate? Of course the grain of salt in that criticism is that not every book can be everything to everyone, and the writers were sharing their own experience as women.

I think the authors’ blogs are better written than the book. There’s a dynamic flow and immediacy to a blog post that’s hard to re-capture in the static of print, where one chapter has to transition into the next and the reader doesn’t have the options of clicking around to read background information. For instance, the chapter in the book on not putting things off until you’re thin was powerful and inspiring, but the original Fantasy of Being Thin post still moves me to tears whenever I read it. Let me also say that just because I thought the blog posts were better doesn’t mean that I don’t think the writing in the book isn’t damn good.

CONCLUSION:

Forever part of my FA library.

I’ve already loaned it out once and bought a copy for my Tante’ in California. The moment I finished reading it, the office Weight Watchers junkie saw it on my desk and asked to borrow it. I lent it to her, but I don’t think she more than skimmed it and I think she was looking for a “boost your self esteem while dieting” sort of thing. Maybe it planted a seed of doubt in her head, maybe not. Maybe one day she’ll even stop bringing food scales to the office potluck to weigh her servings of potato salad. In the meantime, in the midst of the office “Biggest Loser” contest, I think I’ll continue to leave it conspicuously out on my desk to see who else may bite.

P.S. I’d love to see this translated into Spanish!

The death of "Acceptable Fat"

This weekend I wore a sleeveless shirt in public for maybe the third time as an adult (other than the beach or pool). I even *gasp* wore it with shorts. I even *double gasp* went out without brushing my hair. Despite the white-knuckled defiance and the evidence that no one noticed or cared what I, a total stranger, was wearing, the “Acceptable Fat” persona was still shrinking into a little terrified ball in my guts.

“Acceptable Fat” is that little part of me that believes every passing human being is just waiting for a chance to humiliate me and stomp on any show of non-conformity or self-confidence. It’s that part of myself that spends every public moment watching how I walk, gesture, dance, talk and dress so as to not draw attentionto my different-ness. If I don’t stand out, I’m less likely to be targeted by the same kind of person who goes out of their way to leave nasty messages on a total strangers' blog. But if someone hates me for being fat, they’re going to hate me whether I’m in sweat pants or a tailored skirt, whether I’m eating ice cream or a salad or nothing at all. That phobia has officially claimed enough of my life, so I have made a goal for this summer. If I can’t get rid of Acceptable Fat, I can at least bring it to heel.

So this summer, I vow to bring about the end of Acceptable Fat in my life. I will wear a sleeveless shirt in public. I will mow my lawn in same sleeveless shirt and anyone who doesn’t like it can mow the damn thing for me or STFU. I will go walking in my neighborhood without wondering if anyone’s silently laughing at me behind the windows. I will only care for the opinions of people whose opinions I have reason to respect. I will not fear walking past groups of teenagers. I will go to the beach and only care about how much fun I have. I will go hiking and rest when I need to. When I’m hungry I will eat what my body wants, even if other people can see me. I will wear shorts. I will not assume that person who smiled at me is mocking me. I will smile back. I will wear the low-cut corset to the Ren Faire and flirt shamelessly with the pirates*. I will not allow Acceptable Fat to validate the judgements of others. I will wear high-heeled sandals even if it makes me 6’4”. I will make up that groovy sun dress pattern in flame-print cotton and wear it with said high-heeled sandals. I will only wear clothes that make me feel good. I will run barefoot in the grass and play softball and not waste time brushing my hair and putting on nice clothes just to run to the store. I will focus on the person I am and the people I’m with and not the people passing by. This is my summer.

*Note to JD: I promise not to bring the pirates home.**

**Unless they agree to mow the lawn and/or tile the bathroom floor. Then I promise to feed them and change their litter and keep them from scratching up the furniture.
Meow :-)

Holding on to my Standards

After a very bad breakup a few years back, I settled into a determined singlehood. It wasn’t that I couldn’t find anyone; I simply wasn’t looking, except occasionally in a half-hearted way. It didn’t help that PCOS was wreaking havoc with my hormones and killing my sex drive.

During that time I got a lot of advice from friends on how to find someone, up to and including lowering my standards (usually after I’d rejected someone who just didn’t click). At the time if anyone asked me what I wanted in a partner, I could tell them I wanted a man who was intelligent, literary, spontaneous, witty, spiritually compatible and either taller or stronger than I am. Geekiness and love of camping/hiking were perks. I still don’t think those standards are high, except for maybe the taller/stronger issue. That comes from a lifetime of being a six-foot-two chick with the sturdy frame of a viking peasant farmer, and is an issue entirely in my own head.

Anyway, my point is that there is an expectation that people (especially women) need to be in a relationship to be fulfilled, and consequently that “settling” for an unfulfilling relationship is somehow more desirable than being single. I’m here to say that’s utter and complete bullshit. I wasn’t (and still aren’t) willing to settle for less than what I need to make me happy in a relationship. I also wasn’t so unhappy as a very active single woman that I was impatient to find a relationship at any cost. I didn’t want the purpose of my life to be finding someone else, because if I made that the purpose of my life it would invalidate who I am and what I am capable of accomplishing on my own.

This was definitely NOT a consistent headspace throughout this time. I spent a lot of time struggling with the question of what I deserved, or whether it was more “realistic” to settle for what I could “catch”, because of what I looked like. When someone I didn’t know approached me, I struggled to shut up the voice in my head that said, “He’s attracted to me? what’s wrong with him?” and the more insidious suspicion that HE was settling for ME because he didn’t think he could do any better. The periods of ups and downs in that phase of emotional transition so resembled rapid-cycling that I even became convinced that I was bipolar.

Last October my highly empathetic and intuitive best friend staged a sort of intervention to help me along. Three of us sat down, and the rule was that we had to go around in turn and admit something that we’d never shared, and would make us cry. We talked about expectations of ourselves, perceived expections of those we care about, uncertainties as to our goals or deservedness of happiness. It turns out that we shared a lot of these in common.

At the end of the ritual I cut a length of my hair as sacrifice (and you’d have to know me to know how much that hurt) and asked my ancestors and the universe to, when I was ready to accept it, to send me the partner who would make me happy. I even went so far as to give the “list” of standards, leaving it up to them whether any of those standards were unrealistic.

Less than a month later I found out that despite all the mental and emotional progress I’d made in FA, I still didn’t believe that mutual attraction or love at first sight could apply to fat chicks. I found out by being proved wrong.

Part of the reason for the long break in blogging has been the introduction of a very distracting man into my life who, by the way, fits every single one of my standards for a partner, including the perks and a few things I didn’t know to ask for (like empathy). Sure there are things about us that the other has to adapt to, but the things that are really important (wit, intelligence, empathy, reason, humor, strength) are all there and accounted for. It’s a damn good thing I didn’t “settle” for less than I wanted, or I might have missed out on the awesomeness that is the real thing.

Now he’s moved in with me, and we’ve finally worked out possible ways to fit two enormous collections of books into one tiny, tiny house. (There’s no reason for us both to have copies of all the Jane Austen novels on the shelves, or duplicate Shakespeare. I’ll see his Dumas and raise him Isak Dinesen, and it may still all come down to paper-rock-scissors and cruising garage sales for new bookcases, possibly building an addition to have walls to put them on.)

We’ve already bought matching hiking boots, although my friends will do the fake-retching-that’s-sickeningly-sweet thing. We really only bought the same kind because they were 75% off and we’re both cheap bastards, but after two years my friends can put up with a little cuteness and STFU. :-)

Maybe some people can compromise on some or all of what they want in a partner and be completely satisfied. I know that finding the right person is almost entirely luck (plus a big chunk of self-awareness) and those who are more “people person” than I am may actually need to be in a relationship to be happy. Just make sure that no matter how much you want a warm body next to you at night that you don’t compromise on the core essentials that will make you happy. Having no partner really isn’t as bad as having a partner who doesn’t make you happy, trust me on this! Never settle for a partner who isn’t crazy about you (ALL of you) and vice-versa.

Fat will kill you with Swine Flu!?!?!

I caught this out of the corner of my ear on NPR and had to look it up to make sure I hadn't missed a massive concussion or fallen asleep at my desk. No, I actually had heard doctors blame a 22 year old kid's death from swine flu on "Obesity and other health problems."

Beginning my trip into 1984, I find this article that manages to sprinkle fat-hysteria throughout with this particular gem as to why they think fat people are more likely to die of the flu:

"Other studies have shown that pregnant women are at higher risk, especially in the third trimester when the fetus and womb compress the lower regions of the lungs. This makes it harder to breathe deeply and cough forcefully; it may also alter blood flow in the chest. A similar thing may occur in severely overweight people, some experts speculated."

Seriously!? All fat people carry crushing belly weight that keeps them from breathing? SERIOUSLY!?

After making my way down the google news feed, it seems every article on the 22 year old from Utah who just died from the flu mentions the potential complications with this or a similar quote:

"Authorities said the man was overweight and had chronic medical conditions, including respiratory problems and other health issues that put him at risk."

So the fact that he was fat is factored more heavily than the fact that he had a chronic respiratory illness?

Are they seriously this ignorant, or just trying to reassure the reading public that Swine Flu is only killing the fatties? Are news feeds so eager to get on the bandwagon that they'll find a way to slip weight into ANYTHING?

*Breaking news, Shark attack linked to victim's obesity....*

This head-banging-on-desk sort of logic. Unfortunately it offers a brand-new-trendy scare tactic for the media to fly. Instead of taking a breath and a pause (or even, I don't know, offering sympathy to the victim's family?) they capitalize on the double fear of flu and fat to grab readers and give them one more lash for non-conformity.

If this was an actual research study I'd give it a CDNEC award. As it is it's going to get the honorary cousin to the CDNEC, known as the "You're a complete dumbass" award.

Recipe Box: Hot Spinach-Artichoke Dip

There's a restaurant a friend of mine gravitates towards because of a dish called "The Bubbler". It's a hot spinach-artichoke dip served with pita, and last time I tasted it I thought to myself, "this can't be that hard to make, instead of paying eight bucks for it"...

So here is the Bubbler. This is a party-size recipe and can expect to cover a dozen or more people at the "dab on a plate with chips" size serving. These ingredients are all "to taste". Personally I like to overload it with spinach, but your mileage may vary.

16 oz cream cheese (or neufchatel)
2 cups of milk
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese
1 cup frozen spinach
1 cup coarse-chopped frozen or bottled artichoke hearts

Heat the cream cheese and milk in the microwave at one-minute intervals, stirring between, until softened.

Use a whisk or fork to whip the cream cheese and milk together until smooth

Add the rest of the ingredients and stir together

Heat again at 1 minute intervals, stirring between, until hot.

Serve with pita triangles or corn chips.

(Note: you could jazz this up a bit with pine nuts, red peppers and/or sun-dried tomatoes)

There you are: probably the least complicated recipe I've ever posted here! :-)

The Theory of Trolls

Why do trolls bother? After all, they have to come across the blog entry, whether on Google or through the fatosphere feed (which denotes a whole 'nother level of unhealthy stalking behaviour) read through an entry (theoretically) and then actually take the time to come up with a reply, type it out, go through the "hidden pictures" anti-spam rigmarole.....for what? Are they so pantingly desperate for a chance to be nasty?

Durkheim and the buzzword "morality" aside, a society develops rules of conduct (written or unwritten) which allows it to function. You'll see that in a close-knit society people are much less likely to be rude and/or violent towards each other (not that its impossible, especially in familial abuse). This is because there are clear repercussions which make the individual responsible for their actions. Misbehavior is more likely to reflect on them throughout their lives.

As our "society" expands to a larger community where you cannot possibly know everyone, you become less accountable for your behaviour. After all, the odds of you ever meeting that person you were rude to again are slim. You won't be reminded of your rude behavior or face social consequences such as ostracization.

As the internet expands our society to a global scale we find that both the chance of face to face accountability is reduced to almost nothing. The dehumanization of text-only communication reduces empathy and the wide mixture of cultures with different rules of conduct confuses the matter further. The mature, responsible person is able to adjust their interpersonal rules of conduct and apply them online as if they were face to face.

It's interesting. Most trolls, by their behavior, would fit many of the signs of a sociopathic personality if they were acting as they do to people outside the internet. Eliminating body language doesn't mean that behavior automatically goes from crazy to rude.

We can also gain insight into those who leave hate-comments by studying the Psychology of Hate. I do think that the profile and psychology of irrational haters is comparable regardless of the target. (NOT making a value judgment or comparison between fat-hate and racism!). Haters, and trolls, are unsure of their social identity. When social identity is threatened people often cling to irrational belief, willing to defend it violently rather than adapt to the new social reality.

Hate can simply be an immature device to achieve detachment. When a troll posts a nasty comment about my weight, they are simply trying to say "I don't want to identify with you" (without, of course, using their words like a grownup). If they really examined their motivations, they'd find that they don't have to be anything like me (and probably aren't.) They don't have to somehow violently separate themselves from me in order to avoid the social stigma they fear. They don't have to post a comment to convince themselves they're not just separated from me by the narrowest margin of social whim.

Or maybe they do, because they fear it might be so.

Beauty and Government

Michigan’s state budget is crashing like a demented lemming at a cliff face. I mention this not only because it means I’m laid off for six days this summer, but because I’ve spent more time than usual before and after work searching google news for keywords like “Michigan Budget” and “Granholm” (the governor). Of course the comments section of any news article is a case for Sanity Watcher’s points, but I’ve noticed that the most virulent critics of Granholm almost inevitably end their criticism with a mention of the mole on her cheek.

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. When dealing with a woman in power, a large part of the criticism is nearly always directed at her appearance. If they find her attractive they bandy around terms like “MILF” and “Babe,” and usually conclude that she is therefore less intelligent. If there is any physical “flaw” it is seized upon with relish as a reflection of her character. How often have we seen Michelle Obama judged by her clothes, height, build and face instead of her intelligence? In the current Supreme Court nomination process, how much of the cyberspace discussion surrounds the physical appearance of the female nominees? Are women held to a literal double standard of both skill and appearance? Is having a picturesque leader now more important than an intelligent one? Can a mole magically suck governing skills from a human brain?

Paul Campos summarizes it nicely on The Daily Beast. He also tops it with what may just be the perfect quote, which is what originally caught my eye on Shapely Prose:

"For some men, the only thing more intolerable than the sight of a powerful woman is the sight of a powerful woman they don’t want to sleep with."
- Paul Campos

Really..'nuff said.

Envy

I’ve been considering the motives behind those who feel they must judge the bodies or lifestyles of others. While I do allow for the possibility that there may be genuine concern for the health of others (however misplaced it may be), it seems more often that the health issue is more often a convenient hiding place for something no one is quite comfortable admitting aloud.

“ I am Envy, begotten of a chimney-sweeper and an oyster-wife.
I cannot read, and therefore wish all books burned. I am lean
with seeing others eat. O, that there would come a famine over
all the world, that all might die, and I live alone! then thou
shouldst see how fat I'd be. But must thou sit, and I stand?
come down, with a vengeance!”
-Christopher Marlowe, The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus From the Quarto of 1616

There is of course some doubt as to why anyone would envy a group that is so regularly despised and marginalized by their cultural, peers and selves. On the other hand, the stigma that fat is the result of “letting yourself go” is telling. The stereotype may have negative connotations of laziness in our culture, but when you remove the Calvinist interpretation there is much more lurking underneath. In our business and object-oriented society we spend our lives figuratively scrambling up the cliff face by our fingernails in order to reach the top before anyone else. We are never asked to consider whether there is anything on the top of the cliff worth reaching; we only know that we must climb.

What really happens when you let go? The trouble is that no one can really know until they do so. They are told that at the top of the cliff lies immortality, wealth, beauty and love. To climb they must work themselves into illness, give up all pleasure, experience the pain of tearing and stuffing and cutting their bodies, seek out and subjugate themselves to those higher up the cliff while hanging on to the edge of panic over how long they’ll be able to continue climbing.

What they are not told is that they are chasing a mirage. They know on some level, of course. This is why they envy and hate those who simply choose not to climb. They are afraid that if one stops climbing, others will notice and begin questioning the worth of the goal. If all stop climbing, their efforts will be wasted. They will have to admit the impossibility of immortality and the risk of love without purchase. They will have to decide what they really want, rather than giving up volition to follow the masses. Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of humanity more than self-examination.

“Clutching her cornet of sweets the small girl turns to go, reconsiders, turns again. ‘You won’t ever guess his favourite,’ she says. ‘He hasn’t got one.’
‘I find that difficult to believe,’ I smile. ‘Everyone has a favourite. Even Monsieur Muscat.’
Lucie considers this for a moment. ‘Maybe his favourite is the one he takes from someone else,’ she tells me limpidly. Then she is gone, with a little wave through the display window.”
-Joanne Harris, ‘Chocolat’

Envy is not just the desire to have what others have. It is summed up in the phrase “If I can’t have it, no one should.” Personally I have experienced body envy. Honestly I’d doubt any woman who claims to have never, even during their teens, resented another human being simply for having a particular physical trait. Speaking from that experience I can say that envy is an ugly thing. Even stripping away the Judeo-Christian concept of sin, it remains an ugly thing. Envy is a grasping, selfish, hateful feeling that twists everything it touches. If you’ve ever experienced it, you can perhaps understand why the envy of those who don’t feel as if they have the right to be happy can express itself in hate.

This is, of course, an explanation rather than an excuse. Anyone who’s watched monkeys in a cage at the zoo will recognize many basic human behaviours. If you watch long enough you may even be able to check off the Judeo-Christians’ seven deadly sins in their entirety. This is an instance of a religion’s rules of behaviour having perfectly sound reasoning behind the dogma. The “sins” separate us from the chimpanzees. They are what make us civilized in the most basic sense of the word. As Granny Weatherwax would say, all true sins begin with treating people as things. Including ourselves.


(P.S.: To the one who made me re-visit Marlowe, and you know who you are, thanks for inspiring this post!)

Recipe Box: Sweet Baked Ham with Red-Eye Gravy

I'm not a big fan of pork (and boyo do I realize how many dirty jokes you could make out of that statement!) However, since pig in it's various forms is traditional food this time of year, I've experimented to see how I can make it so that I actually do like it. Even so this is a once a year recipe for me.

I prefer fresh ham over cured/salted/smoked or processed. Unfortunately it's getting harder and harder to find. This year I had to resort to a cured ham, but it was a success at the party anyway. I wouldn't use a fully cooked/ready to eat ham as I don't like the salty flavor.

The ingredients list is what I use for a 12 pound half-ham (serves about 10-12 people without leftovers). If you have a much larger or smaller ham, just eyeball the ingredients. They're not that precise because they don't really need to be. Don't stress out over which size can of pineapple, just dump it on in.

Ingredients:

Whole or half ham (butt or shank end)

2 cups (1/2 of a fifth bottle, give or take) pineapple schnapps (can substitute pear or apple if you can't find pineapple). Look for schnapps with natural flavoring. Don't use things like apple pucker with all artificial flavor and color or trust me, it will be gross (and a funny shade of purple).

1 can/1 cup of crushed pineapple with juice
1 can/8-10 slices of pineapple with juice
1 bottle red maraschino cherries with juice
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup whole cloves
1 whole Cinnamon stick



Directions:

Place the ham in a large roasting pan (cut end down if using a half-ham)

Poke the cloves. (my this post is just full of dirty statements!) Push the sharp end of each whole clove into the ham until you have a pattern of dots spread approx. 1/2 to 1 inch apart over the entire surface (not the cut end if you're using a half-ham). Think Pinhead from Hellraiser if you need a visual. If you get your cloves from a whole foods or organic store they will generally be larger, stronger, tastier and easier to work with than the bottled type.

Use wooden toothpicks to tack maraschino cherries onto the ham, then hang the pineapple slices from the toothpicks (this looks impressively Dickensian when it's finished).

Dump the rest of the pineapple, maraschino cherries, Cinnamon stick and brown sugar over the top of the ham. Don't drain the juices first, just throw it all in. Pour the liquor over everything.

Cover the roasting pan. If the cover won't go on because of the size of the ham, make a "tent" from aluminum foil that peaks over the top of the ham and is crimped onto the inside edge of the roaster. Don't leave any gaps for steam to escape, but remember that you'll need to get in to baste. The point is to trap the condensation while it's cooking so that the ham does not dry out.

Bake at 135 degrees for approx. 35 minutes for each pound (i.e. 6 hours for a 12 pound ham) Yes, this means it'll be in the oven all day! Baste at least every hour, turning the ham if possible.

Uncover and bake an additional 1/2 hour to 45 minutes, baste/spoon the juices liberally over the ham every 15 minutes.

Serve! Remove the toothpicks (the pineapple should stick on it's own at this point) and either cut off the skin or remove the cloves before serving.

Red-Eye Gravy:

Stir up the ham drippings at the bottom of the roasting pan.
you can use a spoon, baster or large-hole sieve to separate the juices and drippings from the fruit. Set aside the fruit to serve as a side dish.
Make a pot of very strong coffee. Add 1/4 cup coffee for each cup of liquid and drippings to a pot on medium-low heat.
Add flour a tablespoon at a time (or corn starch 1 tsp at a time dissolved in hot water).
Stir constantly until gravy thickens. This makes a sweet and savory gravy that goes well with ham and sweet potatoes.

Leftovers:

The perfect use for leftover ham from this recipe is to use it, bone and all, as a base for soup. I do bean soup, but it would work as a base for potato or split-pea as well.

Comfortable in my Skin

Have you ever met someone who makes you feel entirely unselfconscious? I've encountered a few in the last months, and it was the absence of the initial "once-over" look that made me aware that such a look existed.

You know the look (or at least now you'll be waiting for it). You meet someone new and there's a moment where they assess your clothes, body, shoes, income, hair and stance in a single superficial sweep, conscious or otherwise. You can see certain questions being checked off in their heads...how much does she weigh? How tall is she? What is she wearing and what does it say about her? Does she have money, a wedding ring, good/bad makeup? Are her shoes new/cheap/appropriate for her outfit? Is she trying to be trendy/goth/punk/hip/conservative in her dress?

Of course I'm of multiple minds on this. On one hand it's a perfectly normal part of human communication to use non-verbal cues to figure out how to approach people or to correctly interpret or anticipate what they say. It's such a natural part of communicating that most of us don't realize that it's missing in these days of IM and chat. We've learned, to some extent, to adapt to the lack of visual cues, but this lack is part of the reason there are so many more arguments and misunderstandings in online conversations.

On the other hand, as Samuel Clemens said, "common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen". When someone does the "once-over" look, are they filtering what they see through a collection of prejudices that includes the Calvinistic belief that I am all of the negative character traits associated with fat people? That I am lazy, stupid, etc. ? When I defy that belief, is the surprise increased because of those prejudices? (Which, one could argue, might be used to my advantage).

But, as I said, I've met a few people recently outside my regular circle of friends who met me without the usual once-over. Coincidentally, they turned out to be people I'm really drawn to, have a lot in common with, and will hopefully end up as close friends. I don't want to use the absence of the "once-over" as a magic eight ball of potential friendship at this point, but I'm going to at least pay attention to it as a barometer; one more tool when it comes to knowing how people tick.

Then again, using the absence of a superficial assessment of my personality as a superficial assessment of their personality is quite probably hypocritical of me.

Then again, I never did claim to not be a hypocrite.

A Health Ramble

Is it my own shift in perspective, or is the "be thin and live forever" market beginning to lose it's edge? The same tired lines, the ever increasing desperation to sell as many magic pills as possible before someone catches on... Weight loss promises seem to be going the way of so many modern Americana trends, and commercials for weight loss now seem at home on the late night infomercial slot sandwiched between the miracle shammy and the gadget that lets you cook chicken on your carburetor. In other words, it's getting old, and it seems people are now looking for the next big thing to throw time and money at in hopes of an eternal life. Maybe if we're lucky it'll be HAES.

At what point do we realize that everyone, fat, thin, smoking, vegan, kosher and jogging, will one day die. Odds are they will also get sick first. The idea that artificial thinness somehow grants immortality or control over fate is so ridiculous that even I have problems believing that I bought it for so long.

If someone does, by some fluke, break through the barrier of immortality, we all know that it'll be some rancher in Wyoming who chain smokes and eats steak at every meal. That's how the universe works. Irony is the subtle weapon it uses to poke at our illusions of control.

In the meantime, I have gone from being able to say "I'm fat but I'm perfectly healthy" to PCOS. Which means I have to say, "There are plenty of healthy fat people, I'm just not one of them." Somehow it lacks oomph in my own mind, even though either argument will fail if someone is truly determined against the idea. It's even a bit unfair to myself, as I am relatively healthy outside of PCOS. It doesn't mean that I don't feel that my body has somehow let me down, or fear that having something wrong with me will give fat-haters an "aha!" trump in any discussion, but in all honesty I'm still generally healthy, regardless of weight. Who knows what it all means in the end, except that perhaps it never really mattered in the first place. Health has always been a red herring for the underlying issue that human beings will always need a group to feel superior over. In the absence of an official hierarchy, an unofficial one will always spring into being. At some point weight was selected in the public mind to be the basis of that hierarchy, and here we are today supporting a $50 billion weight loss industry.

That begs the question...are the thin really at the top of any social scale, or are we simply duped by industry advertising dollars into thinking they should be?

"Fat Girl and Proud" Youtube video

What a nice surprise to get on Youtube and find this instead of the usual nastiness directed at fat people!

Recipe Box: Spicy Dandelion Greens (vegan)

So I've been crunching recipes for a workshop I'm doing at the Mothergrove festival next month on incorporating wild plants into cooking. I made this one last night to test the recipe, and while I overdid the red pepper a bit (I think I drank half a gallon of ice tea), it turned out surprisingly well. The taste is a bit like mustard greens or endive.

Dandelion greens are full of iron and calcium (more than spinach), vitamin C, and A. Before they produce flowers in the spring the leaves are mild and perfect for salads. After the flowers appear, the greens get bitter, but the bitterness can be alleviated by pre-boiling and tempering with sweet ingredients. The high iron content makes them a traditional medicine to treat anemia and jaundice.

Make sure to correctly identify dandelion greens, as there are several look-alikes which are not poisonous, according to field guides, but are decidedly more bitter and even a few mixed in can throw a dish. Here's a decent intro to plants that are commonly mistaken for dandelions. Hairy/spiny leaves, branching or woody stems, or leaves growing from the flower stem itself are all signs that you do not have a dandelion.

Also be sure to avoid collecting greens in lawns that have been treated with pesticides, herbicides, or chemical fertilizers not intended for food crops within the past two years. Do not collect by roadsides where runoff could contaminate the plant. Always wash wild-collected plants thoroughly before using. People with latex sensitivities may have a reaction to dandelion leaves and stems, but anyone introducing a new plant into their diet should do so slowly and cautiously in case of allergic reaction.

Spicy Dandelion Greens
4 side-dish size servings

2 lbs dandelion greens, about 8 cups by measure, which looks like many times more than you need, but the volume will shrink considerably during cooking. Discard any that are discolored or insect-eaten.

1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon plus 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 cup olive oil
1/2 teaspoon dried red pepper flakes (to taste) or chopped chile pepper to taste.
3 medium cloves of garlic, crushed
1/4 cup pine nuts (optional, but tasty)

3/4 cups raisins (regular or golden) if using greens harvested after flowers appear on the plant in spring. This is to offset the bitterness, so it isn't necessary if using young spring greens.


bring water with 1 tablespoon sea salt to a boil in a pot large enough to hold the greens.
wash the greens well, removing any stems left on the leaves. Cut into rough 2-inch sections cross-wise (across the leaf)
Boil greens for 4 minutes
Drain in colander and rinse well with cold water, pressing the leaves to remove as much moisture as you can.
Heat olive oil in pan or wok until hot (medium-high heat) but not smoking.
Add Garlic and sautee for 30 seconds
Add the greens, pepper, pine nuts, 1/2 teaspoon salt and raisins. Sautee for three minutes or until moisture is removed from greens.
Add lemon juice and continue to sautee for an additional minute, or until greens start to crisp a bit around the edges.

Enjoy!

If you don't have a safe source for dandelion greens nearby, you can substitute any bitter green in this recipe, including mustard greens, endive, escarole, turnip greens or chicory. The cooking time may need to be adjusted; turnip greens need to be boiled longer, endive can be just blanched or skip the boiling and go right to the pan, and so on depending on the bitterness and toughness of the greens.

The Fat Experience Project

This is from an e-mail I received this week. Check out the link and be sure to give the creators feedback so that this can be a positive force in the FA community:

http://thefatexperience.com

"The goal of the Fat Experience Project is to map the global experience of fat in a way that is human, has a face, a heart, a mind, a body and a voice. The Fat Experience Project is an oral, visual and written history project which seeks to be a humanizing force in body image activism. By collecting and sharing the many and varied stories of individuals of size, the Fat Experience Project seeks to engage with, educate, empower and enrich the lives of people of size, our allies and the world at large.

As the project grows, it will be filled with first-person, non-fiction narratives (in text, video or mp3 format) that speak to the many and varied aspects of the life lived large. Some of the content will come from interviews already gathered on an extensive 2-month road trip (with the lovely Val Garrison) in both audio and video format. Some content will come from trips on the horizon. Most content will be submitted via the website by readers such as yourself.

It is my hope that the project will be a community tool to combat prejudice/stereotype/discrimination as well as to help externalize shame so it can discussed and dissipated. The things we keep silent about are the things that do us the most harm. Shared burden is lighter. I am hoping, as well, that the project may eventually be used as a humanizing resource for fat studies and social anthropology courses.

...It is my fondest hope that, ultimately, with time and resources, this project will grow beyond a specific and exclusive fat focus and move toward addressing the many intersections of shame. "

The Off Switch

This started out as a comment on Fillyjonk's Ask Aunt Fattie post about a woman who is uncomfortable with the occasional sizist thoughts about her partner's body. After a few paragraphs I realized the comment was getting post-length, so I moved it here.

Starting off with the excerpt that really nailed the concept for me:

"Luckily, the key is not to remain untouched by prejudice, but to consciously and deliberately rise above it at every opportunity. You are not failing in your fat activism when you look at your girlfriend and the voices of a thousand magazines and TV shows and judgmental relatives trill out “is she going to eat that?” Rather, you are succeeding when your response is to shake your head and say “how ridiculous you are, tiny voices in my mind.” "

I think this is a brilliant expression of the fact that there is no magically delicious "off switch" when it comes to cultural conditioning. It is a process of constant revision. After spending a lifetime having a prejudice beaten in our heads Aldous Huxely-style, no one is expected to shake it overnight. For example, I wasn't raised to be an accepting person. I was raised with every influence geared towards turning me into a conservative Christian suburbanite WASP. Luckily some of those gears went *sproing* in time for me to do something about it, but they still pop up at inopportune moments. Ten years later I still find a lot of prejudices in me that I have to stop and confront, and a few that get past me without me even noticing until it's too late.

I believe this is an issue for a lot of people in FA. I know it is for me. There was this great tipping point where I looked FA and finally got it. Joy Nash had a lot to do with that moment, as did my Tante' who sent me books and websites to nudge me in the right direction. I suddenly realized that there was nothing inherently wrong with my body. A lot of you know what that moment felt like.

The problem is that I woke up the next morning buried under all the same old baggage. The only real difference was that I now knew it was there. Part of the self-loathing built into our cultural message is wrapped up in the complete helplessness to find any way to fix what we are told is a problem. The only solutions to our differentness, we're told, are to either force our bodies into a semblance of normalcy or, when that inevitably fails, to hide them. We work and slave and sweat in an attempt to solve "the problem" of differentness, with the increasing pressure of shame and guilt heaped on as motivation. That moment when it all clicked was not the moment I solved the problem of my differentness. It was the moment I realized it wasn't a problem.

Since the click was not universal, however, it also didn't remove all the pressure. It didn't stop the negative thoughts about my body (or other people's bodies). It didn't stop my envying thin friends. It didn't stop the built-in reactions to magazine spreads, fat jokes or diet ads. That's because no moment (or year of moments) can undo the conditioning of a lifetime. All it can do is make me aware enough to start to re-condition myself. I can tell the tiny voices they're being ridiculous, that I don't have to justify my food or clothing choices to anyone. I can start catching the judgemental little part of me that comments on the habits of others, and tell it to STFU. Every time I do, I come a little closer to not not believing what they say. But it's a process. I'm not an enlightened human being, so I have to work at it. But those bad moments (and days) when I feel like a mess and stare longingly at the smiling fakery of a Weight Watchers ad don't make me any less a Fat Acceptance activist. Our culture is eerily efficient at creating shame and guilt from natural processes like that, and we don't have to buy into it. The bad moments don't make me a failure; they make me a human being. One that's still learning.

I don't honestly think there will ever be a day when I stop being aware of my differentness, or stop wanting (on some level) to go back to trying to fix it. But when the good moments outnumber the bad, I think I'll call it a win.

Centered

I had a good ride today. It's been almost a week since I've been out, but it was hot enough that I left the saddle in the barn and rode a long bareback ramble through the lanes of the deserted christmas tree farm behind the stable property.

Riding bareback is a matter of balance. You ride with an awareness of the center of your body, and balance your center over that of the horse as it moves. It's a form of meditation in motion. As I rode along, belting out The Hedgehog Song to the miles of open air, I thought about the myth of the clumsy fat person.

Occasionally there is a thin person who wonders how it is to be fat. They don a heavy padded suit (usually for the benefit of cameras) and try to move through the world under the honest mis-assumption that they are somehow gaining the perspective of what it feels like to be fat. It feels horrible and unnatural, this thick envelope of sensory-dead stuffing isolating them from the world. Their skin no longer gives them cues of space, motion, heat or cold. The thousands of small motions of balance and posture their bodies perform without their awareness are useless against the unfamiliar weight in unfamiliar places. They feel monstrous, clumsy, humiliated, and alien. They then take off the suit with great relief and continue through the world with a renewed sense of how terrible it must be to live like that every day. The problem is that they haven't actually learned anything.

I grew up fat; I haven't been thin since my black-irish genes kicked in around third grade and turned me from a thin blond to a fat brunette. What the person in the fat suit doesn't realize is that if they wore the suit every day of their adult life, it wouldn't be awkward or alien (unless they wash it, of course, it will begin to smell...opening up an entirely different discussion of fat stereotype). I grew into my fat body and learned it's strengths, movements, reach and ability just as any other teenager would. I don't wear my fat as a suit, but as part of me. I don't have to think about the extra effort to move, because it isn't extra effort to me. My body knows how to move and balance because it has developed all the unconscious and necessary thousands of tiny motions it requires. It has done so exactly as a thin body would.

My point is that those who try to simulate, or even imagine what it's like to be fat may simply be unable to do so. A naturally thin person would be awkward and uncomfortable if they were fat because their body has developed into a shape they are accustomed to and has no idea how to accomodate the change. Likewise for the naturally fat person who found herself suddenly thin. The body would have to re-learn how to move and react and balance, just as it did in puberty. That's why, for all the fantasy potential, I don't think I could even imagine myself as a thin adult. My body only knows what it has learned.

A girl once raised my eyebrows and ire with the question "don't you feel handicapped with all that fat?" Putting aside the more complicated response to her rather awkward vocabulary, I'll respond to her real question. Do I feel like I have some dead, awkward envelope of fake padding restricting my movements and throwing me off balance? The answer is no. I have my body, which I've known all my life. It is living, sensing, reacting flesh all the way to the skin. I know how it balances. I know how it moves. I know where my center is.

Think Tank

The Think Tank is tomorrow, but for all those I'd hoped and planned on meeting it turns out I'm too sick to go. The last thing I want to do is drive three hours and share bronchitis around the FA community (not to mention ten strangers sleeping in the hostel room with me).

So I won't make it :-( but I do hope to see reports from those who do and I'll check the twitter stream between Nyquil doses.

PCOS and HAES?

Well I'm officially dipping into my summer break-from-blogging with this post, but I need to check in to the Fatosphere for some information.

I know there's a few readers out there with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome), so I'm hoping for some direction. It isn't certain yet, but the doctors are looking at it as the most likely eventual diagnosis for me and approaching it accordingly. The problem is that every website I can find seems to indicate that you can't effectively treat PCOS without weight loss (which makes me say hmmmm....since, like diabetes, thin women get it too), or low-carb dieting.

The usual "losing just 10% of body weight cures most of the symptoms!" garbage is prevalent on official websites like Mayo Clinic and WebMD, without any clinical information to show whether the improvement is from the actual loss of fat tissue, or the exercise and arugula-eating the person engaged in to lose the fat tissue.

For those who are already struggling to balance Fat Acceptance, HAES (Health at Every Size) and PCOS, are there any books or websites you'd recommend that are light on or free of the weight loss mantra, and possibly advocate holistic therapies? I'd really appreciate some recommendations to get started. My doctor recommended the book by Samuel Thatcher (PCOS; the Hidden Epidemic). Does anyone have an opinion on the book?

Hands in the Dirt

I've been neglecting the internet pretty badly lately, but it feels so good to get my hands in the dirt that I've been letting almost everything else slide (even the horses!). I've got three new garden beds dug and planted for herbs, and the final one dug and ready to plant tomorrow after the frost warning has passed. Quite a few of what I'm planting are simply weeds in disguise, having sprouted up in my lawn between mowings (to the chagrin of my Tru-Green neighbors!)One example is a beautiful crop of first year Mullein. I've moved them from my yard to pots so that I can harvest a few leaves at a time throughout the summer.

I left one in the ground for Fred the rabbit to nibble on. He's moved into my brush pile and sits unconcernedly by my front door when I come out each morning. So far he's leaving my potted mullein alone in favor of the wild, but he did sample my newly planted sage almost to the ground.

My other "weed" finds that I've moved to pots for various reasons include Five-Finger Grass (Cinquefoil) (no, it's not related to Cannabis),

a beautiful spread of Star of Bethlehem by my shed

a great spread of sweet-rocket from the ditch by my office, a spread of violets in march, and a few as-yet unidentified wildflowers I've saved from the lawnmower in hopes of transplanting after their blooms are gone.

The satisfaction of working on my own land, the meditation of studying the changes of the season, the back-breaking sweaty hours of digging, raking, hauling and mulching, and the good old fashioned kid-like joy of playing barefoot in the dirt are all so very good for me. Especially since health issues have kept me from being able to do Yoga for the last two months. I've started a Dandelion tincture brewing for detox, and transplated a stray Raspberry cane that escaped via rhizome from a friend's garden, in hopes of starting a Raspberry leaf tincture as well. The store-bought version seems to be helping my health issues quite a bit, but I hate to pay $12 a bottle for something I can make.

Once I'm done getting my dirt fix I do plan to get back on track with FA, this blog, the COFRA site, and all my other social comittments. Until then, I leave you a moment of zen a la Wizard of Oz. The hairy-looking alien pods have opened, and my "leave it alone and see what pops up" garden is once again in a profusion of (non-narcotic) poppies. I got pictures tonight in case the frost wipes them out. They're very pretty, but incredibly delicate.

Recipe Box: Strawberry-Rhubarb Upside-Down Cake

The Rhubarb is coming the Rhubarb is coming!

In Michigan it's the season for cheap/free produce, as the Rhubarb explodes out of everyone's garden until it overflows all the freezers and jams and pies their owners can handle. One of my best friends and her family just inherited a massive overgrown garden with their new house, and they are loving the surprises popping up this spring. She has giant bush-like rhubarb plants producing enough to fill three freezers, so she graciously bestowed a pile on me just as I was racking my brain for something to make for our office's annual cake-off. In a Michigan summer twist (not that I'm claiming rhubarb is specific to Michigan) I made strawberry-rhubarb upside-down cake. Yes, I cheated by using a box cake instead of scratch, but that's the problem with baking projects on a weeknight. Between the baking and the digging (since I got some Raspberry canes to plant along with the gift of Rhubarb) I was up until midnight. I jittered myself up with coffee and ended up in a three-way tie for first place at the Cake-Off the next morning. I didn't use any of my own votes (you pay 25 cents for each slice and vote), but I'm wondering if it really would have felt like an empty victory if I had :-)

Strawberry Rhubarb Upside-Down Cake (aka Spring Flip):

INGREDIENTS:

1 box french vanilla cake mix (Supermoist or pudding cake mix)

Ingredients to prepare cake mix per directions on box (typically 3 eggs, oil and water)

2 cups chopped fresh rhubarb (½ inch to 1 inch pieces). The Rhubarb doesn’t need to be completely peeled, but it helps to strip off any tough or stringy skin you might find on older/larger pieces.

2 cups plus ½ cup sliced fresh sweet strawberries

1 cup (packed) light brown cane sugar

1/3 cup butter

9x12 glass baking dish with at least 2” high sides (an extra inch or two higher is even better)

Optional variations: you can include one or more of the following if you’d like, or come up with your own variation. (If adding more fresh fruit or liquid, be sure to balance it by adding dry ingredients such as flour and sugar):

• ½-1 cup pecan halves or pieces
• cinnamon or nutmeg (to taste)
• ½ - ¼ cup golden raisins
• ¼ cup shredded coconut

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 350

Put butter in glass pan in oven to melt (careful not to let it scorch)

Prepare cake batter per directions on box, subtracting 2 Tablespoons of water from the ingredients called for and adding ½ cup sliced strawberries. Beat the strawberries into the mix well so that they break up and distribute evenly.

When the butter has melted in the dish remove it from the oven. Make sure the butter has coated the bottom of the dish evenly.

Sprinkle the brown sugar evenly over the butter at the bottom of the baking dish

Layer 2 cups of strawberries on the brown sugar

Sprinkle 2 cups chopped rhubarb over the strawberries

Sprinkle any optional ingredients over the rhubarb

Press ingredients gently down into the brown sugar

Pour the cake batter over the layers in the baking dish (there might be some left after the dish is full. You can make a cupcake or two, or discard)

Bake at 350 for 40 minutes

If the cake is firm down to the fruit and doesn't "jiggle" with movement, insert a toothpick into the center of the cake. If it comes out clean, skip to the next step. If it isn't done yet, run a butter knife around the edge of the dish to separate the cake from the sides. This allows moisture to escape so that the fruit cooks down properly. Reduce oven to 325 and bake an additional 20-40 minutes on the bottom rack of the oven until fruit is bubbling up the sides, the cake is firm without “jiggling” when you move it, and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

Place a cookie sheet or heatproof serving tray over the top of the baking dish.

Holding the cookie sheet or tray firmly against the baking dish, flip them both over so that the dish and cake are resting upside down on the tray.

Let sit without removing the dish for at least 30 minutes to allow all the fruit to drop and the cake to keep the shape while cooling.

Serve warm or room temperature with ice cream or whip cream.

A Letter to Torrid

Dear Torrid Executives:

As a formerly eager customer, I would like to express disappointment in your decision to be involved with a contest featuring a "boot-camp" for weight loss. Losing weight rapidly is not only untenable in the long-run, but unhealthy for the participants both physically and psychologically. I don't understand how a store purporting to serve a customer base that is comfortable and confident in their bodies can support a program that teaches them, as all diets do, that their bodies are unacceptable and objects of shame. If you don't want large women to accept their bodies as they are, why do you choose to serve them as a demographic? If you want, as your clothes suggest, large women to feel confident in themselves as people, why would you choose to suddenly sell them out to the media industry that survives primarily by a constant reinforcement of self-loathing in women and girls? Supporting that media and it's ideals of body-hatred through weight loss is a betrayal of your customers' trust.

I do love your clothing line, but I have made the difficult decision to no longer give any of my business to support a company that tries to sell me clothing while telling me my body is not an acceptable shape to wear that clothing. I cannot support a company that asks women to wear the symbols of confidence in their bodies while it in turn supports a contest promoting the objectification and manipulation of women by telling them the shape of their bodies is more important than the achievements of their minds or skills.

If your company would be willing to cut ties with this contest and no longer support any promotion of dieting or body-hatred, I would be happy to bring my business back to your stores. Please consider the long-term effects of your actions, and whether the loyalty of your customer base is more important than any fleeting profits you may realize by selling their trust.

Sincerely,

Susan Conklin

How to Contact Torrid

For those who haven't been following, Torrid has made the disappointing decision to participate in a contest involving boot-camp-style weight loss for women interested in plus-size modeling.

Big Fat Blog has covered this issue in detail, including the original Craig's List post asking for fat women with "pretty faces" to participate in their weight-loss regime in order to be pretty enough to wear clothes.

There's also a response on Hyde and Seek, and a discussion on Fatshionista where they've posted some of the responses they've received from Torrid trying to justify their actions.

If you'd like to write and let Torrid know what you think about their decision to be involved in this contest and encourage unhealthy dieting in their customers, please write to:

Torrid Headquarters
18305 E. San Jose Avenue
City of Industry, CA 91748 USA

You can also E-mail them from their customer service page, but remember that a written letter will always be taken more seriously than e-mail.

For tips on how to write a good protest letter, see NAAFA's list here.

I'll be putting a letter together in the next couple of days that others can use as a template, but remember that original letters will always be more effective than form letters. You don't have to be the most eloquent or erudite person in the world to let the company know you're disappointed in them! Just simply say so. You can include one of the NAAFA brochures , or quote (with credit to the original author) some of the information you've read on blogs and websites to say why dieting is dangerous and ineffective in the long-term.

Even if you just send a short paragraph, your voice needs to be heard by Torrid, so that they know they can't pretend to serve their market while despising it.

Send a single mother to Disneyland (part 2)

A few weeks ago, I posted a request for your help in sending a hardworking single mom to Disneyland via KMEL's Bay Babes baby photo contest. I've heard now that she's made it to the final round! If you're interested in helping again, please go to the KMEL website at http://kmel.com/pages/round3main.html?feed=271560&article=3670464 and vote for

23) Jazmyne-2

Enter your e-mail address and respond to the confirmation e-mail they send you. You can vote once per day.

If there are multiple people voting at the same computer from multiple e-mail addresses you'll have to clear your browser cache between voting.

The mother and kids are over the moon at the chance to have a summer vacation! Thanks to anyone who'd like to help.

Book Review: "Thinner Than Thou"

Book Review: Thinner Than Thou, by Kit Reed

A novel about a dystopic semi-future where youth and thinness has displaced religion as the moral guide in the U.S. The primary "church of thin" is a multi-billion dollar conglomerate of products and clinics claiming to cure both fat and age. It has all the trappings of the modern church including a charismatic prophet of thin who preaches via infomercial and recruit converts willing to give up most of their worldly assets in the pursuit of the new norm of physical perfection. A cadre of mysterious nun-like "sisters" carry out secret operations to save those who refuse to conform, and chains of "scarf and barf" eateries offer a distinctly Roman outlet for suppressed urges. Of course any rigid society creates a fringe, and in this world there are two. The first is the complete fetishization of food and fat. There's the furious and serious national sport of eating competitions, and the pornographic "Jumbo Jigglers" clubs, where clients pay to watch fat people consume huge amounts of food. The second is the secret society of former religious leaders who have banded together, Catholic, Muslim, Sikh and Buddhist, to create underground railroads and cadres of believers.

The plot centers around an anorexic teenage girl who is put in the hands of the mysterious "Sisters" for rehabilitation. Her outraged brother and sister (twins) and boyfriend set out on a cross-country search to find her and rescue her from their hands. A secondary plot centers around a writer who commits himself to a weight-loss internment camp run by the prophet of the new church.

Let me start out with the caveat that I read a lot of classical literature. That tends to make me interpret modern novels harshly when it comes to voice and characters. That said, I was irritated at the campy-teen dialogue in the book, along the lines of "Like, totally! Way! No way! Dude! Awesome!" Then again, I don't know many teenagers, so they may actually only talk that way. It was just jarring. The dialogue, with the exception of a few speeches, was stilted and often awkward.

The setting is the real strength of the book. The author describes a world where religion is sacrificed to youth and beauty, because the worship of youth and the contemplation of death are seen as mutually exclusive. The elderly are a problem not in terms of support, but in terms of concealment so as to not remind the world of time's inevitable result. Details like these are brilliant.

My biggest struggle with the book is deciding whether it really glorifies eating disorders. The main character is anorexic, and while those with anorexia may be able to relate to the character's motives and history, the book sets her up as a heroine for maintaining her disorder against the efforts of her rehabilitators. Granted the rehabilitators' methods are medieval, but nothing in the novel really dispels the impression that the girl is anything but daring and independent for challenging the status quo and overcoming every power of the institution by refusing to eat. Any question of her recovery is forgotten amongst the rest of the (otherwise Spielberg-like) ending. Yes, it's a dystopic fantasy and there is an argument for realism, but I wouldn't want my (completely theoretical) teenage daughter to read the detailed instructions for hiding anorexic symptoms from friends and family.

On the other end of the ED spectrum in this book lies the strongest objection I have against the book; Every single fat person in the book is portrayed as a compulsive eater. There are detailed scenes of one-dimensional immobile straw fatties who weep at their inability to stop as they eat an entire roast pig and several entire cakes provided by fetishists. More detail is devoted to the description of pork fat dripping down a fat person's chin or the fat folds of a pink organza-wrapped immobile dehumanized fat person than is given to the development or description of any of the main characters. Fat characters in the novel frequently have to buy love, friendship and/or physical affection with food. The fantasy around the fetishization of fat and food is explained as the desire to let one's self "go" in an overcontrolled society, rather than a natural feature one can't really permanently change. They are also, to highlight one of my own pet peeves, described at least twice as having "such a pretty face."

Now that could be tongue-in-cheek, but the problem with tongue-in-cheek is that only those in on the joke will recognize it as such. The average person reading the book may gain some sympathy, but I doubt they will walk away with any fewer fat stereotypes. While the book does drive home awareness of the current unhealthy obsession with thin and possibly promote some awareness of eating disorders, I don't think it really does much to advance FA.

Recipe Box: Garlic Mustard

Most of the midwest, northwest and east coast states are now dealing with a severely invasive non-native plant that takes over any disturbed soil in partial sun or shaded areas such as woodlands, roadsides and vacant lots. Garlic mustard was introduced by european settlers and has spread wild as a weed anywhere it can establish itself, including my backyard in Michigan.

Garlic Mustard may be a weed, but it's also medicinal (which is why settlers brought it in the first place). The leaves are antiseptic and can be used on humans to treat everything from cuts and scrapes to acne and itchy bug bites. The root can be cooked in oil and applied to the chest for lung complaints like bronchitis.

The leaves are edible, with a flavor somewhere between garlic and onion. The young leaves are less bitter and can be added in small quanities to salads. The older/larger leaves make a great herb in soups, marinades and dry rubs, especially for game (venison, game birds, etc) but also beef and chicken.

I love that spring offers new ways to experiment with ingredients you can't get at the store! It's important, however, to gather from areas free of pesticides or other pollutants, and preferably at least 1/4 mile from the side of roads. Make sure there's no poison ivy growing amongst the garlic mustard plants. Wash the plant thoroughly before using or drying. Also make very sure that you have the correct plant, since there are a few that look similar.

The most common recipes you'll find for Garlic Mustard are pestos, as the bitterness of the leaf goes very well in the flavors of a good pesto sauce. There's plenty of recipes at:

http://www.patapscoheritagegreenway.org/garlic07/index.html

which is the annual Garlic Mustard challenge held in Maryland. A google search also comes up with some fantastic recipes to use this invasive weed in various recipes.

I've got several bunches hanging to dry, and hopefully will have a nice stock for the rest of the year :-) I have a feeling it'll work very well in a wild rice pilaf!

The latest greatest diet: Rotavirus

The gist of a conversation overheard by my desk at work:

Woman: The doctor said I have viral gastroenteritis. I just can't keep
anything in me so I'm pretty much on clear liquids.

Man: That can't be good.

Woman: Actually I've lost 8 pounds so far! It's not how I'd choose to
do it, but I sure did need it.

Man: Well then, at least something good's come of it.

Ok let's bypass the part where this woman is at work with an incredibly contagious disease and touching all the office equipment (phone, copier, postage meter, etc.) that I and others (including several pregnant women) have to use. Let's even bypass the part where she could have at least sprung for some clorox wipes to carry around and wipe down any common surfaces she touches. That's a lot to expect anyways from someone who doesn't even wash their hands after using the bathroom (whole 'nother rant). Let's jump right to the part where she's happy she contracted this horribly contagious, very uncomfortable disease that provokes constant and violent episodes of diarrhea....simply because she's 8 pounds lighter.

Are you f***ing kidding me!?

First of all, it's probably water weight from the dehydration of diarrhea. Secondly, there's no way of maintaining weight lost from a forced starvation liquid diet and the equivalent of a laxative purge. Thirdly, has the myth of thin=health really gotten so bad that people would rather be very slightly and unnoticably thinner than, say, not trapped in a bathroom fighting intestinal cramps and liquid poo?

Serious and absolute *headdesk*

The man never even blinked at the idea that being a whole 8 pounds lighter was a benefit outweighing the drawbacks of Rotavirus. Who ever said that the myth of thin doesn't cross gender lines?

It's also creeping me out considerably that this non-hand-washing disease carrier had just been sitting at my desk, using my computer, touching my phone and keyboard while I ran an errand for her division. My IRL friends will now be laughing at the mental image of a Zim-like episode involving lysol and a full-body biohazard suit.

Must now bathe my keyboard and mouse in rubbing alcohol.

Appreciation for my body

Yesterday I found yet another reason to appreciate my body and all it can do.

For the non-horsey folks, let me explain that "longeing" a horse means to ask them to move in a circle around you at the end of a long flat nylon rope called a longe line (Americans tend to spell it phonetically, i.e. "lunge" line). I was longeing Sunshine (a Belgian draft horse) and when I asked her to trot she decided she'd rather have a freak-out and bolted away at a gallop. That's usually the point at which people either let go of the line (and hope the horse doesn't step on it and break their neck/leg since the other end is attached to the side of their head) or get pulled right off their feet and dragged across the field. I'm not used to letting go (yeah yeah, Freudian much?) so I just took a good grip, dug my heels in and threw my weight backwards and down against the weight of the horse. Of course, no human being can really win a tug-of-war with a 2000 pound scared animal who's really determined to go away. On the other hand, if a horse is well trained, they may stop if they feel enough resistance to be convinced that they're attached to a stationary object.

I can apparently be a very stationary object when I want to be.

She actually ended up repeating the trick a few minutes later, which tells me that she's so used to it working (and consequently getting back to the barn and not having to work anymore) that it's more a show than an actual panic. After the second runaway (where she actually managed to drag me a few steps before stopping) she was very well behaved. I think a few more sessions of "who's the boss" and her manners on the ground will improve considerably.

The point is that I very much believe that if I were the medical world's "ideal weight" I would have been face down spitting dirt and watching the horse disappear through the gate. As it is, I thank the powers that be that I took some online advice and wore gloves, otherwise I'd be out several layers of skin. It was my weight that made the difference in winning that particular contest. I've been fat all my life so I rarely take notice of how much I use my weight or my fat to physical advantage in life. The difference Fat Acceptance has made is in noticing how much my body does for me. I have hips and a belly to balance heavy boxes when I need a hand free. I have strong legs to climb with, strong arms to lift with. I have a butt to pad my falls and thighs to wedge against heavy furniture when it needs moving. I have 300+ pounds of living anchor to drag a bolting draft horse to a stand-still.


What wonderful gifts to have!

Alternative Healing

I'm interested to hear if any of my readers have explored alternative medicines or therapies, either through mistrust of the current medical practices or to avoid a fat-hating doctor.


For example, many of the women I know (including myself) will exhaust herbal options before setting foot in a doctor's office (mmm...sage honey cough syrup...). I also know a few people who have become disgusted with their doctors and turned to acupressure, massage therapy and Reiki energy healing with various levels of success.


I'm not putting any sort of value judgement on any system. There are, sadly, very bad doctors out there. There are also very good ones if people have the means to seek them out. Just as there are quacks, thieves, and talented and ethical healers amongst most alternative therapies. Perhaps the reason so many fat people turn to the alternatives is that they feel the holistic therapies are more likely to treat them as an entire person instead of a BMI. Possibly there's also a perk in that I've never met a Reiki master that insisted their clients step on a scale before pulling out the chakra crystals. Either way, I believe that the growing popularity (and insurance support) of alternative therapies might actually get more fat people to seek some form of diagnosis and treatment in good time instead of too late. Perhaps one of the more important purposes of the FA movement is to convince us that we do not deserve to live with pain or illness. Once we can convince every human being that every other human being has a right to equal access to medicine (regardless of weight, age, color or socioeconomic bracket) I think it will narrow many equality gaps in our society.


In the meantime, every doctor should be required to read the blog "First Do No Harm" before they're allowed to venture into the world of human beings. It may remind them that their patients and they are the same species.