Friday, March 14, 2008

New baby at the stables! (pics)

The woman who owns the horse I'm leasing came back from the Shipshewana horse auction with another rescue! This 4/5 month old colt was in the kill pen with his mother, but he couldn't keep up with her when they put her up on the block. He was initially sold to a meat buyer for $30.


Well she wasn't about to let such a sweet little thing go for dog food, so she hunted down the buyer and offered him $40 for the colt. He accepted!




She thinks he was an Amish horse, because the Amish in the area shave the forlock off their horses along with the bridle path. His mother (not rescued, unfortunately) was a standardbred, and his sire was probably (hopefully) a Belgian, considering the mane and short back. That will make him the perfect horse for a heavy rider in a few years, especially if he grows into those knees!

His name's Lucky, and he's both highly intelligent
(has already learned to open gates, lift his feet when asked, and leads with just a hand on the jaw instead of a halter) and very sweet-tempered. He's a bit nervous and clingy still after being force-weaned at the auction pen, but he's adopted Sunshine (the horse I'm leasing) as a surrogate mom and seems to be very comfortable/trusting of humans.





Speaking of Sunshine, I didn't leave her out of the lens!


This is the Sunshine, the 6 year old Belgian mare I took on a half-lease this month. She's 16 hands and a bit (about 5 1/2 feet tall at the withers/shoulder) and a real sweetheart, even if a bit skittish on the trail (probably just having a new rider).

Her mane's a bit ragged yet, but it's growing back in from when half of it was shaved off last year. I mixed some Jojoba oil and rose water as a detangler and it seems to work very well. Her tail was docked by her first owner (common in draft horses, although extremely cruel!) and might not get much longer than it is now.

When they get the arena finished so that I can safely learn hunt seat (she's too spooky on the trail for me to dare an english saddle) I'm going to see if my photographer friend would be willing to come take a few shots of me riding.


When I got there today, she was loving the spring weather, and tossing a ball back and forth with Belle, the Exmoor pony.












Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Women declared too fat for police work

An article in South Africa's Daily Dispatch today revealed that more than 10 candidates were turned away from the Mthatha Police College today for being too fat. The women were responding to a recruitment effort by the South African police forces to fill 700 vacancies, but said they were not told about any size requirements for the trainee program until they were weighed and measured as part of their interview:

"She said when they arrived at the college they were told their waists should be no more than 88cm and their body mass below a certain measurement. "

For those who are wondering, 88 centimeters = 34.6 inches.

No fitness tests were mentioned in the article; only weight and waist measurement.

I wonder, really, if this is a not-so-subtle form of de facto racism? By using a BMI standard that was developed in reference to Western European white males and using it to restrict the employment of South African black women, they set an unfair standard. Not to mention that a person's waist circumference has little or nothing to do with their ability to do the job! Not when they could simply offer a fitness/endurance test to screen applicants. They also need to disclose the requirements of the position before applicants show up on their doorstep, so that the applicants can include physical conditioning in their preparations.

As badly as South Africa needs keen, ethical and dedicated officers, it's a wonder that they'd turn away any potential recruits on the authority of a measuring tape.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Lisa Marie Presley sues paper that called her fat

Ok, it's celebrity crap, but apparently calling someone fat can be grounds for a lawsuit.

According to Time, Lisa Marie Presley is suing Britain's Daily Mail for running photos of her eating at a restaurant along with pointed jabs at her weight, comparisons to her father's middle-age weight gain, and hints that she would, like her father, die a early death because of the fat(never mind that her father's death came from tasting the pharmaceutical rainbow.)

Now she's suing the paper, insisting that she's pregnant, not fat, and demanding an apology and damages for the "mental anguish".

Seriously? You can do that? What's the statute of limitations, because we could all retire on the financial support of every high school bully who ever engaged in casual cruelty.

I'm really of two minds on this one as far as reactions go. On one hand it's someone standing up to the media to demand treatment as a human being rather than a sacrifice on the altar of public amusement. On the other hand, by treating fat as a damaging insult, it's further marginalizing fat people and setting up fat as something to be hated and feared. I suppose you could go either way, depending on whether your glass is half full or half empty today. Personally I think the glass is simply twice as large as it needs to be to fulfill it's intended purpose.

I wonder if the glass can sue me for saying so? :-)

Friday, March 7, 2008

Real Women Wanted in British Beauty Contest

This article in the Oxford Mail today was a great start to my Googley Friday morning!

Angie Beasley, the organiser of the Miss England contest, has reminded young women in Oxfordshire that size does not matter when it comes to taking part in the Miss Oxford contest, which is being backed by the Oxford Mail.

The article is about Chloe Marshall, the latest Miss England contestant who's facing down the prejudice of competing in a beauty pageant at size 16 (about a size 14 American) The encouragement from the organizers is heartening in a time when size 0 is still the ideal on the fashion runway.

Don't get me wrong, I personally think beauty contests are silly at best, dehumanizing at worst. But I do respect anyone willing to throw themselves into the fray of any contest where they challenge the status quo. I like people who make other people examine their own assumptions. Especially when they can also serve as a positive role-model for girls when it comes to notions of beauty.

So maybe I'm behind the times on this one, and I'll get a lot of "what rock have you been living under that you haven't heard of Chloe Marshall!?" But even though she's the buzz in England as the largest Miss England contestant, I haven't heard much in the U.S. Especially since I don't really care much about fashion.

It probably won't get me interested in beauty contests in general, but I am curious to hear more about how she gets on and what message she's sending. She's got a Facebook for those who're on it (i.e. who haven't been living under a rock.)

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Fat to determine custody or parental fitness?

I normally try not to post two "downers" in a row, but an article in the Canadian National Post on Monday is already old enough that I don't want to pass it up.

"The societal panic over childhood obesity, already entrenched in the medical system and evident in the furor over school lunches, is beginning to influence custody judgments and child-welfare authorities in their decisions about fitness to parent."


A lot of us are familiar with the cases in California in recent years, where a young girl was taken from her mother because she was too fat. In those cases, NAAFA helped advocate for the parents in getting their child returned. In the meantime, apparently, Canada has been busily establishing legal precedents to allow the weight of both child and parent to figure into determinations of parental fitness in custody and adoption battles.

The article mentions an ongoing case in Toronto (the reporter isn't allowed to release details until the case is resolved) where a young girl was removed from her home because the child was fat, and the mother refused to force the girl to diet.

It goes into more detail concerning a pair of fat twins in a custody battle which raged over 8 years. The twins, now 10, have spent nearly their entire lives in hospital-based weight-loss programs. Can you imagine sacrificing a child's entire developmental period to dieting?

That particular case, at least had a mixed happy ending:

The mother, Lisa, argued against the father gaining full custody, saying that his approach to parenting was "his continuous attendances with the children on numerous medical reviews, weigh-ins and the administering of blood tests; combined with his continuous negative references to others and directly to the children that they are overweight, not normal and are ill and in danger of developing certain conditions or diseases."

In the end, the court determined that primary custody should go to the mother, where the children seemed most happy and well-adjusted, while conceding "the weight-management of the children was a problem that needed addressing."


In other words, we haven't seen the last of fat, in either adult or child, as a determining factor in parental fitness and rights. The Ontario Family Court is still deciding whether a child can be removed altogether from her natural parents simply for being fat.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

et tu, Eric Oliver?

Reading the latest CBS News Story on Fat out of London today is an extreme experiment in "good cop, bad cop" for readers.

For those of you unfamiliar with the technique (in other words, those of you who've never seen an American television show or movie involving the police), the "bad cop" starts off aggressive in order to attempt to intimidate the suspect. In this case, the bete noir of baby flavoured donuts bludgeons the reader with a one-two combination of visual (a disembodied fat stomach over too-small trousers) and tried-but-untrue fattism:

"Go on, have another doughnut. "

Then the good cop steps in. His job is to befriend the suspect, earn their trust, and invite confidence.

"The obesity epidemic has absolutely been exaggerated," said Dr. Vincent Marks, emeritus professor of clinical biochemistry at the University of Surrey. "

There's some back and forth for a while, with the good cop coming out ahead as Eric Oliver, author of the most excellent "Fat Politics." His book was one of the first I read when I got into FA, so I got ready for the white knight to run to the rescue. Sure enough:

"Blaming obesity for diabetes and heart attacks, Oliver says, is like blaming lung cancer on bad breath rather than on smoking. Excess weight may actually be a red herring, Oliver says, since other factors like exercise, diet or genetic predispositions towards diseases are harder to measure than weight. "

All right! Go Eric Oliver!

It gets even better, of course, now that the good cop is on a roll.

"Yet the 1997 Geneva consultation was held jointly with the International Obesity Task Force, an advocacy group whose self-described mission is "to inform the world about the urgency of the (obesity) problem." According to the task force's most recent available annual report, more than 70 percent of their funding came from Abbott Laboratories and F. Hoffman La-Roche, companies which make top-selling anti-fat pills. "

Finally, a mainstream news source is catching on to the plethora of conflict-of-interest that exists in the world of obesity research. What an excellent bit of fact to cast doubt on the legitimacy of one of the more institutionalized anti-fat organizations. Bravo to CBS for bringing it out into the light of day.

But wait, although 70 percent of the article is pure refreshing gold, the bad cop isn't quite done yet. In a surprise move, the good cop switches roles and leaves the FA reader reeling from the let-down:

""The vast majority of people who get labeled under the obesity epidemic are well under 300 pounds and probably are not facing big health consequences," Oliver said. "It's the morbidly obese people who should be worried." "

This from the author of such a great book on fat bigotry? Ouch.

So sum-up, if you ignore the first two paragraphs and the last two paragraphs, the information in this article is fantastic. Getting through the sanity-watchers barricade to get there, however, is a slog.

Call me pessimistic, or better yet lugubrious (since it's one of my favorite words), but the hasty scramble for legitimization by Eric Oliver in the closing sentence, the rush to assure the reader that he's not talking about the really fat (which, by his definition, includes me), that it's ok to target them with all the institutionalized social hate and government programs as long as you don't hate the middlin' fatties...that's disappointing. I really, really hope he was misquoted or taken out of context. That's always a possibility to keep in mind. I've been horribly misquoted in interviews before, to the point where I had to wince and count to ten before calling the editor. Could Oliver really be suggesting that only "kinda fat" people are really being misrepresented?

Say it ain't so.....

Monday, March 3, 2008

Giving Up the Fantasy (Success!)

For those of you who haven't been following, a few weeks back I posted a blog about my own personal Fantasy of Being Thin. Essentially, along with all the other attributes I as a fat person so commonly associate with the magical state of thinness (poised, confident, successful, admired, talented, fending off the men, etc.) I believed that thinness would automatically open the door to horses again. I grew up with horses, but had to give them up when I went overseas at the end of high school. During those ten years I used the potential to ride again as the prize in my many attempts at weight loss, with 240 pounds as the final goal. That's the weight limit at most commercial riding stables, so it became that magic number at which everything became possible. I don't think I ever had any illusions about reaching the "medically acceptable" weight range of 160-180; I'm 6'2" and a genotype formed from a very long line of sturdy Irish peasant women and Viking invaders. It would take an actual terminal illness to get me to 180 pounds. 240 sounded possible and reachable, even though the set point my body has naturally settle to throughout my life has been just over 300 pounds. So I worked, and failed, and put everything in my life on hold until I hit the magic number, with horses as a carrot to keep me on track.

Then I found FA, thanks to my Tante' (aunt) who invited me to NAAFA. Then I found the Fatosphere, thanks to Google. Then I read this post. Then I cried a bit :-)

Then it occurred to me that regardless of what people thought of me while I was riding or how ridiculous I looked trying to mount, there were quite a few horses out there I could ride. As the draft horse has disappeared from modern farms, those who love the breeds have trained them to saddle instead. So I steeled myself against the potential for nasty responses, put an ad up on Craig's List and started calling farms.

Last week I posted an update when a woman contacted me with a beautiful Belgian mare available for half-lease. She's a rescue from the kill pen at the Shipshewana horse auctions who's been trained up into a great saddle horse, and more than able to carry me.

Yesterday I went out to meet them both. We took a short trail ride to try her out and I made an idiot of myself trying to scramble onto an 16 hand Belgian after not mounting a horse for 10 years (finally used her deck to get high enough so I wouldn't yank the saddle around on the poor girl's back). She was a bit jumpy, whether from not being ridden for a month, the wind, or just having an unfamiliar rider on her back. She shied a few times at barking dogs and the apparently horse-eating squirrels running across the road (and completely spooked once at a wild, horse-eating puddle that the wind rippled while we were passing) but I managed to stay on and kept my balance until she collected herself.

The biggest challenge was that she was trained in English aids, and I was trained in Western. This led to some confusion for the both of us, since my instinctive movements were a little contradictory to the poor horse and we didn't exactly keep a straight line down the road. It's something I have to work on, and thankfully she seems to have a really forgiving personality.

So, yes, I made the first month's payment, and only have to call ahead whenever I want to ride. I was impressed that she had a lease agreement ready, along with very clear barn rules, helmet rules, liability waiver, etc. It's really encouraging. The barn is one of those beautiful antique two-story barns with hand-hewn rafter logs I've always wanted to see the inside of, so that's a perk. I might invest in a tall mounting block to keep there so I don't have to bring the horse up to the deck each time. I also need to keep up on my Yoga, and maybe add Pilates. I'm taking note of all the places that hurt this morning, so I know which muscles to work on and stretch out for the future.

I can't believe such a great horse was in the kill pen ready to be auctioned off for meat. She's only 5 years old, very friendly, doesn't bite or kick, and I'm sure that once she learns to trust me as a rider she won't be inclined to spook. It really makes me wonder how many other neglected horses go straight to dog food without ever being given a chance. How many champion show horses or just really good trail horses are funneled quietly through the kill pen?

I'm also a little surprised at how easily it was all accomplished once I put my mind to it and just put the calls out there. Of course I feel a bit foolish for putting it off for so long, but I'm sure that where I am in my life is eactly the point where I needed this and will benefit the most from it. That's really how life operates :-)

The overall point is that no one should put off anything they want to do in life in anticipation of some distant goal. Especially when that goal involves a radical change in your physical body. I know that you've been trained most of your life to believe that you don't deserve to have fun, be successful, find joy in movement, or live your life as you see fit. Not when your very body is condemned as a moral failing by the modern church of the fashionably thin. Buying into that condemnation is a prison sentence; you are handing authority over your own body, mind and spirit to those who have the least vested interest in preserving it. You are quite possibly the only person in the world who will ever be able to care for your yourself to the degree you deserve as a human being, or really know what will make you happy. Never lose an opportunity to embrace something that will add to your well-being. No one knows how long they have in the world, and there's no reason to ever avoid something you love simply because of our society's distorted concept of appropriateness when it comes to fat people. Your body is what it is, but you'd be surprised at what it is actually capable of when you learn to trust it and take the risk of putting your own happiness ahead of other people's opinions.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Recipe Box: Rice Pudding

Friday fluff on this oh-so-cold December day.

Wait, it's February? huh. Couldn't really tell with the freakin' blizzard going on outside the window...

So to celebrate the never-ending dump of snow that's currently attempting to bury my car, I'm offering up a specimen of the dreaded "white foods" category. Rice pudding is the ultimate simple comfort food. I can remember my mother making it when we were sick, so it has warm-cozy associations for me. It's very mild, so it can finish off almost any meal, but very filling so a little goes a long way. It can be served warm or cold, and is almost as good either way. I'll work on developing a vegan version using soy milk and tofu, but if anyone beats me to it feel free to share!

Ingredients:

3 cups milk (whole milk will make it richer)
1 cup sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup raisins (optional, and mix up with dates, almonds, pecans, and/or coconut as it suits you)
1/3 cup butter
3 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup white sugar
1/2 cup raw white rice
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp (approx) nutmeg, or one whole nutmeg for grating.

(mmm....freshly grated nutmeg......)

Combine rice with 2 cups of regular milk in the top of a double-boiler or in a microwave-safe bowl. Cook over hot water in double-boiler or in microwave on high until rice is tender (approx 30-45 minutes, could be longer depending on heat).

Add raisins/dates/nuts/etc. and butter, stir until butter melts

Combine eggs, sugar, vanilla, salt, cinnamon, 1 cup of regular milk and sweetened condensed milk and whisk until blended.

Stir into hot rice mixture.

Pour into greased cake pan (9" square pan for single batch, 9"x12" rectangle for double batch) or 2-quart casserole dish (uncovered).

Sprinkle or grate nutmeg over top

Bake in 350 F oven for 45 minutes or until a butter knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

Let cool/set up for about 10 minutes and serve warm, or chill in refrigerator and serve cold. This recipe can be fancied-up by serving in individual wine glasses, or even baked in individual ramekins. It's a common dessert to serve with Indian food, and finishes almost any spicy meal well. Like I said, it's filling. Last time I made a single batch it fed about 8 people with a bowl or so left over. Then again, the leftovers are oh-so-good.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Giving Up the Fantasy (update)

I got a lot of positive responses on my post about giving up the fantasy of being thin, and all the procrastination of pleasure that comes with it. Sure, I got some hate mail as well, including one person who actually followed the link to my Craig's list ad so that he could toss bile from several directions at once. But overall I received a lot of encouragement from family, friends and readers.


My main dream was/is to find a place to go horseback riding that had a saddle-trained draft horse. I contacted one stable who's (very nice) owner regretfully didn't have any of her Irish Drafts ready for anything but an expert rider. Since I haven't ridden in 10 years, I have to consider myself back near beginner status. She did offer to let me come out and do ground work around the horses (walk-outs, lunging, assisting the trainer, etc.) until I "lost enough weight" to ride one of the other breeds, at which point I had to (politely) adjust her notions of my intentions. She really was very sweet, despite the misunderstanding, and tried hard to find one of her owners who would let me ride. Nevertheless, the setback did discourage me for a while and I stopped calling stables.


Then, out of the blue and after a long stressful weekend vending at Convocation, I got an e-mail response to my Craig's List post from a woman who ran a horse rescue about a 1/2 hour away, and was looking to lease her Belgian mare. I'd never heard of leasing a horse, but the arrangement sounds perfect. She'd board the horse, take care of all the bills, provide Western and English tack, cart and harness in case I want to learn to drive, provide a few lessons, invite me along with her group on camping trips and trail rides, etc. I would, with exception of a weekend each month when she camps and a few days when she's needed for lessons, be able to come out and ride.


How perfect is that, and just when I'd started to consider giving up? Better yet, after some Googling I found that the woman takes in rescued horses whenever there's room from boarding. The Belgian mare I want to lease is a rescue from the kill pen at the Shipshewana horse auction (bid out from under the nose of the meat buyers and re-trained to saddle and harness). So not only have I maybe found a place to ride, but I might be able to talk her into letting me help work with the rescues when they come in.


I'll have more definite details on Sunday after I go to meet the horse and family, so until then I'm not counting this as a done deal. She still has to approve my leasing her favorite horse! She seems really nice from her posts in horse forums though, so I hope the deal works out. Even if I have to give up on some other projects to afford it. For this dream, I'd give up quite a bit!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Hiatus

Sorry about the lack of posts, but the lull will continue through next Monday as I've been filling every spare second getting ready to vend at Convocation this weekend. Now that I'm staring down a marathon list of things to get done before 9:00 am tomorrow morning, I realize that this whole "I work better under last-minute pressure so I'll start a new series of watercolor wall hangings four days before the event" plan was a bit over-the-top. Hopefully at least one of them will sell. Now I just need to unpack all the totes from previous events, re-pack just the stuff to sell at Convocation, finish edging the last wall hanging, make a booth sign, re-grind the sea salt that solidified in the packets (note to self, do not store wares in garage), decide how much of the palm oil and Shea butter is salvageable for sale (see previous note to self), make 20 new lip balms, do two loads of laundry, pack my actual suitcase, decide if it's worth bothering to bring the knee-high leather stiletto boots, find the knee-high leather stiletto boots, replace one of the laces on the the knee-high leather stiletto boots, clean out the car, pack the car, pick up change for the booth and change the cats' litter boxes...all between 5:30 pm tonight and 9:00 am tomorrow morning.

I knew I should have taken today off.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Recipe Box: Banana Bread (and Banana Bread French Toast)

This past weekend there were twelve of us snowed in together, and just before the storm got too bad to venture out, we got a mutual craving for banana cream pie. We sent the guys out in the four wheel drive for ingredients and they brought back two bunches of bananas from the "last day" produce clearance rack. That was twice as many as I needed for the pies, even when feeding twelve people, and they were so ripe (just turning brown) that I knew they would be tossed the next day. So there was nothing to do but turn them into bread (yeah, banana bread, twist my arm, right?)

The best part about making up a big batch of banana bread is that there's rarely any leftovers. Make small loaves and freeze them, then just leave them out on the counter overnight to thaw. Also, homemade banana bread can be turned into the most decadent, luscious french toast ever created.

The bread is a recipe from my family cookbook, which my mom transcribed onto note cards for my brother and I. I remember the original book from when I was a little kid, and how our "favorites" at dinner or holidays always involved the first step of pulling out "The Cookbook". A veritable witch's scrapbook, the recipes were scrawled out in the handwriting of three generations of mothers and sisters, and stained with decades of chocolatey fingerprints and smudges of flour. The cover bulged over too many pages and slips and crumbling bits of old scotch tape holding together magazine clippings. The recipes were designed for creative people, with terms like "a chunk of butter" a "dash of salt" or "a zap of water," in place of measurements and a lot of ingredient amounts listed as "to taste". It included booby traps like not mentioning if the brown sugar was measured packed or loose (which led to the great "better than meth" sweet potato sugar junkie disaster of 2003) and left out some unwritten secrets like how the roux turns that perfect beach-sand brown and feels like liquid velvet when it peaks. It really felt like each recipe's author assumed she'd be standing over your shoulder, guiding your hand, with the recipe as nothing more than a quick reference. Or else that a few tablespoons here or there didn't really matter, because if it didn't turn out, you could just make it again. Yeah, remember when people were allowed mistakes? Better yet, develop your own twist to the classic recipe and write it down on your very own page, to pass on to another generation.

Banana Bread (ingredients per loaf):

3 bananas, the riper the better (look for brown and nearly black patches on the peel, but not yet split or slimy. The inside should be really soft, past the good eating point, but not yet black)
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar (lightly packed)
1/2 cup apple sauce
3 eggs, well beaten
2 1/4 cups flour (sifted)
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda mixed into 1 Tablespoon hot water (hot tap-not boiling)
Handful of pecan or walnut pieces to taste (about a cup) (optional) (and/or raisins, dates, whatever floats your boat.)
1 8"x4" loaf pan (regular dull metal. If using glass, dark metal or non-stick, the cooking time may be reduced about 5-10 minutes, check the loaf carefully)
2 mixing bowls

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit

grease loaf pan with butter or shortening
Cream sugars and shortening together
Beat eggs and applesauce into mixture
Set aside
In second bowl, combine flour, baking powder, nuts (optional), salt and spices
Mix well.
Add the two bowls together, mix only until everything is even and moist, don't over-mix.
In now-empty bowl, crush bananas so that no large chunks are left.
Stir baking soda into hot water (if you haven't already), and add to bananas. Mix well.
Add bananas to the rest of the batter.

Stir as little as possible, but just enough to evenly distribute.
Pour batter into loaf pan. It doesn't rise much, so you can generally fill the loaf pan up to 1 inch from the top.
Bake at 350 F for one hour, or until the top of the loaf splits and browns, and a toothpick inserted into the loaf comes out clean.

Allow to cool in pan. Serve warm or room temperature. It'll keep fresh on the counter for a couple days in a plastic bag, or in the fridge for about a week. Freeze if storing longer.

If you're freezing, allow to cool completely to room temperature. If necessary, place in plastic zipper bag and leave out on the counter overnight. When completely cool, wrap individual loaf tightly in plastic wrap (no air), then in aluminum foil. They should keep like that up to 6 months. Thaw at room temperature.

To make Banana-Bread french toast:

Cut bread into 1/2 inch slices
In flat bowl or pie plate, mix:
3 eggs
1/4 cup sweetened condensed milk (can substitute 1/2 cup milk and 2 tsp sugar)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
pinch of nutmeg
pinch of cinnamon

Melt 1 tsp butter in pan or on griddle on medium heat

dip banana bread slices in mixture to coat both sides (don't let them soak or they'll fall apart)
place coated pieces in pan, fry until brown on both sides

serve plain, dusted with powdered sugar, with sliced bananas and whipped cream or chocolate drizzle, rum sauce, syrup, or whatever your imagination suggests.


Yeah, ok, it's more dessert than breakfast :-)

Thursday, February 14, 2008

"Biggest Loser" at my office

A carry-over from my forum post at Big Bat Blog, where I got a few good responses that confirm that, no, I'm not just being oversensitive. I got this mass-mail yesterday from my boss, sent to everyone in the office:

****************************************
>>> (my boss's name removed) 2/13/2008 1:23 PM >>>
What is your goal?

$10/participant, we will weigh in on Tuesdays or Thursdays, so (name removed)
can be the official weigher. Each person will state their weight loss
goal. The contest will be based on the percentage of your goal by the
week. The participant that loses the highest percentage of their goal
will get a prize. Length of the contest will be determined by the number
of participants and $ collected.

Your goal should be reasonable for the period of the challenge, i.e. if
the contest is 10 weeks, a 50 pound goal is unreasonable. Once you
have attained your stated goal, you are out of the contest.

If you are interested, please contact (name removed) by noon
on Tuesday, Feb. 19. Weigh-in will be Tuesday afternoon.

*****************************
I responded to just to her and the employees named in the e-mail as participating, with some dieting facts (98% failure rate, fitness more important than/unrelated to fat, ED triggered by diet, dieters gain more weight than non-dieters, yo-yo weight loss terrible for your body, HAES, etc.) Now my boss is a very nice, normally highly intelligent woman whom I respect very much. In this particular case, it was like my words were being tossed into a black hole. She says that she herself needs to "lose a few pounds" (this is a healthy, tall older woman, about a size 8 or 10 at most) because of her blood pressure and asthma. Did I miss the one where fat causes asthma? How silly!

I'm not getting through. In the meantime the next 2-3 months in my office is going to be miserable. I'm a receptionist stuck at the desk so there's no way to walk away from the diet talk. Maybe I can at least find a way to stay off the mass-mail list where everyone updates each other on how successfully they're starving themselves. I'm also tempted to make a whole lot of really fabulous-smelling lunches, like my beer-braised pot roast or chicken mole, and leave lots of baked goods around the break room, just as a protest. Is that too mean? I could settle for leaving HAES and FA brochures. Anyone have recommendations for the best ones?

A letter to myself at 14

I'm copying an idea that's been making the blog rounds, prompted originally by a post at Big Fat Deal, where a 14 year old girl asks for advice on how to like herself. That set off a round of bloggers writing themselves letters they wish they'd had when they were 14.


Personally, I've always tried to live without regrets, because changing any decision earlier in my life would change who and where I am today. I rather like who and where I am today. Some of the biggest mistakes in my life, if avoided, would cost me my current best friends, whom I met through those mistakes.


Still, there's a few things I wish someone I could trust had told me. Considering that at 14 I didn't believe I actually could trust anyone else, I'm the only one who could have made a difference.



Dear me at 14:



You’re about to start High School, and it’s going to suck even worse than junior high. I’m not going to help you avoid a lot of the bad stuff coming up, because it makes you who you are as an adult. Try to make good choices, stay honest (you never were a good liar and have a highly developed guilt reflex, so don’t bother), stick by your friends, and try new things with the understanding that any embarrassment won’t be remembered by anyone else after you graduate.


Also:


People are cruel. Guys are asses, chicks are bitches. In general. Don’t become them. All you can do is sort out the exceptions. Only surround yourself with people you trust, and then prove yourself trustworthy to them in return. That second part is the most important. Your closest friends right now are the ones who will stick with you if you let them. It’s you that’ll screw things up by driving them away so that you don’t have a best friend to leave behind and miss when you go on your exchange tour. You won’t realize that’s what you’re doing until Matt points it out to you. He’ll be right, but too late. Always remember your responsibility to those who give you their trust.


You’re fat. See the above about asses and bitches. Your body is the result of a hundred generations of Vikings and sturdy Irish peasantry. There is nothing you can do to change it… not by dieting, exercise, dressing differently, not eating, eating too much, cutting, closing yourself off to the world and pushing it away, or sticking pins into poppets. You’re stuck where you are. Once you stop focusing on your fat and look elsewhere the world becomes much more interesting.


While you’re working so hard to turn the outside into something it can’t ever be the inside is being neglected. Figure out what you really want. It isn’t to be thin; it’s all the things you associate with being thin (happy, outgoing, athletic, beautiful, desired, confident, etc.) The problem is that nothing is actually stopping you from being any and all of those things, right this minute, as a fat person. Find out what makes you happy. Work on reaching out to others. Wear clothes you like. Be proud of what you do well.


Do not accept any implication that there is something wrong with you. When your 9th grade school counselor has the bright idea to try and force you to be friends with the “other fat girl” at the school even though your weight is the only thing you have in common, stand up for yourself. Tell her she’s out of line. Tell her she’s stereotyping, and that she would never try this on two kids who happened to both be black in a predominantly white school. Tell your parents so that they can say it for you. They will.


Do not accept ownership of the shame and anger directed at you as a fat person. You have only to be ashamed of wrong action or words which hurt yourself or other living beings. That’s it. You do not have to take responsibility for anything else, including what others think of and do to you. If you do not accept the shame others try to instill in you, then it is only for them to feel it. Hold on to that when it gets bad.


Your family is your greatest ally. You are so wrapped up in your own hurt and resentment that you don’t even realize it. Your brother has and will always defend you, and will be a great friend if you let him. He’s your connection to people (gamers, geeks) who are most likely to accept you for who you are regardless of what you look like. He will also forgive all the rotten things you’ve done to him throughout your life. Your friends liking him doesn’t mean they like you any less, but your completely illogical jealousy and torture of him makes you look like a crazy, petty bitch. You resent him because you feel invisible, but that isn’t his fault. Don’t put your self-loathing onto other people, that’s always a mug’s game.


The level of anger, hurt, fear, resentment, paralyzing embarrassment and numbness you feel every day isn’t normal. It isn't something everybody else feels and just deals with better than you. It isn’t supposed to be this hard. Ask for help. Do it while you’re still on your parents’ kickass company insurance, because the kind of help you need costs money. You won’t get another chance.


When you get a bit older, and this is hard, remember it isn’t about who you can have; it’s about who you want. The two are NOT the same thing. You are not defined by who will sleep with you, because some men will sleep with anyone. Don’t mistake sex for love, that’s not how some guys are wired. Don’t accept less than respect from a partner, but make love your standard. (P.S., when Tyler asks you out…throw something sharp at him and run the other way. Fast. Far. Don’t look back.)


Until you have your own head and heart sorted out, sharing them with someone else is just going to end badly. No one is going to do it for you, or keep you on a little pedestal without ever noticing your faults so that you can ignore them as well. No one else is ever responsible for knowing when you need help, and it's unrealistic to expect it, no matter how well connected you are. You have to ask. No one is going to save you from yourself, or change you from the outside. That’s all on you.


Your half-brother is a bigot, a loser, and consumed by his own insecurities. He is not someone you should worry about impressing. He will not get any better in the next 15 years, and in fact will get worse. Do not place any importance on what he thinks of you.


Avoid the credit cards. I don’t care if you have to shop at Goodwill and eat ramen noodles the rest of your life (you won’t). Your credit balance will bury you just when you should actually be able to afford all the things you wasted money on too early.


Don’t be afraid of being the fat girl who loves to cook. Don’t give up anything you love because of how it might look to others.


Own your actions. Take responsibility for your own headspace. Take pictures, be in pictures, label pictures (trust me; it’s the only way you’ll remember what happened). Be careful what you project onto others (either demonizing or idealizing). Let people in, at least a little more. Write everything down, even the bad stuff. If nothing else, it’s practice. It’s all practice, so you don’t have to get anything right the first go-around. If you do hit 30 without finding that one person who can keep up with your constantly switching tracks in life, the world does not end. You’re an acquired taste, wait for a connoisseur. Trust in the universe, but lock your car. Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s all small stuff.



Sincerely,

Jo, 15 years later.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Lane Bryant Shootings memorial fund

A comment received yesterday on my post about the Lane Bryant shootings in Tinley Park:

Charming Shoppes, which owns Lane Bryant, Catherines, Fashion Bug and
Petite Sophisticate, has established a memorial fund for the families of the
incredible women who lost their lives.

The Lane Bryant Tinley Park Memorial Fund
Harris Bank
19500 S. Harlem Avenue
Frankfort, IL 60423
ATTN: Sandy Kozin

All of the funds collected will be distributed equally among the five victims'
families. As a manager of one of Lane Bryant's "sister" stores, I cannot tell you
how many times I have thought over the last 10 days, "this could have happened
to us." My hope is that they find the monster who committed this unspeakable
crime as quickly as possible, and that he receives the punishment he deserves.
Rest in peace, ladies.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Breaking News: Fat People Eat Instead of Sleeping

A new story making the rounds of the news feeds is about a study that claims a faulty circadian clock alters natural hunger cycles.

"Mice fed a high-fat diet experienced a sudden disturbance in their
circadian clocks, which caused them to overeat when they should have been
resting or asleep."


According to a more detailed article, the mice were fed a diet containing 45% fat for two weeks to create the disturbance of the body clock. There was no mention as to how they controlled for other nutrients (if half the calories are coming from fat, how nutrient-dense are the rest of them? Are the control mice getting more vitamins and minerals, and that's having an effect on the circadian?)

"The eating behavior of mice in the study mimicked that of people who experience munchies non-stop and then, after snacking all day, launch midnight raids on their refrigerators, Bass said."


Oh, right. I forgot. Fat people are fat because they eat ALL THE TIME, day and night, never pausing in the quest to stuff their face with baby flavored donuts and milkshakes made from kittens. How silly of me.

I really need to get a subscription to access studies beyond the abstract. I'd really, really like to know details that get handily left out by the media. What was the activity level of the mice? What were the total calories consumed by each group? Did they try a group of naturally fat mice as a control, or just overfeed a bunch of thin mice to make them temporarily fat (which would indeed mess seriously with their biological functions)? Did the researcher find out if the circadian is altered in mice that were born fat?

More importantly, why didn't I know that all fat people sleep badly? Gosh and Geburah, this could explain everything! Sleeping pills for everyone, lets cure this pesky epidemic.

*eye roll*

Monday, February 11, 2008

Cold Day, Spicy Food

Kalamazoo isn't that small. Granted, much of the population is seasonal due to two universities and a couple of colleges in the area, but you'd still think we'd have at least a couple restaurants that stretch the definition of "exotic" further than a Chinese buffet.

Finally, in the midst of this sub-zero February fark, I think we may have finally reached the tipping point where someone has decided that we can support an Indian grocery!

mmm....lentils....with chilies....

Just when I was really starting to get into a cooking funk from boredom, a whole new sub-continent is opened up to me. Finally, I don't have to base my recipes on what's available in the one single "international" aisle at Meijer's. Although, to be fair, they have been a reliable source for whole vanilla bean.

Now if we could just swing a nearby Trader Joe's, it would be like spring all over again :-)

BigMovesBabe left a great Paneer recipe on Shapely Prose today...anybody else have a favorite Indian recipe to share?

Saturday, February 9, 2008

The How, Part 3: Be an Example? The challenges of representing fat



The How: Part 3

Be An Example?

(The Challenges of Representing Fat)

Picking up an old series on how individuals can find their own particular niche in Fat/Size Acceptance activism, I've reached what may be the most controversial of the suggestions: Be an Example.

A great post over at FatGrrl talked about the mind games many of us play as fat people. Amongst the other gems that made me cringe with guilt (because we've all been there, played that) is number two: "You’ve seen a fat person in a store in one of those motorized scooters and thought 'that’s what gives us a bad name.'"

Now I created the original "How" post before a lot of the cobwebs of self-loathing had been chased out of the attics of my unconscious, so I hadn't yet realized that I, as a fat person, have participated in fat hate. I’ve been guilty, upon seeing a fat person on television or in person who fit a certain stereotype, of thinking “how dare he/she, when other people will see that and judge me by it.” This may have been part psychological projection, part acceptance of the pop paradigm, or entirely my own awful ignorance. It doesn't matter. I never got to the point of actually going to peoples' faces or blogs and hating on them, but a quiet bigot is still a bigot. If I'm being entirely honest with myself, I was a hater in my own head. I don’t think I’ve really come to terms with that until now. How dare I think I have any right to expect someone to live their life differently because it fit the way I see the world? How dare I heap more negativity on people who are already buried beneath it, when they are human beings deserving of my respect? How dare I presume to have any right to judge, or even know anything about a person’s life, simply because they don’t waste time trying just as hard as I do to conform? How dare I, when others were probably doing the same when they looked at me?

A hate crime enacted upon yourself or upon others who resemble you, should still be considered a crime.

It’s a pretty subtle trap, the idea that all fat people represent fat. As illustrated in the "Knapsack of Privilege," very few groups of people get to walk out their front door without being a representative for something. Few human beings can dress however they want, do whatever they want, eat however they want, or express themselves without having to stop and consider what it says about every other person who looks like them. This is an incredibly powerful state of mind that does more to prevent equality than many more overt barriers. No one escapes it entirely, but some groups cannot escape it at all.

The assumption of representation is designed to keep a group of people in line with what society is comfortable thinking about them. It works so well that the people themselves adopt it, creating a self-regulating stereotype. Another way to put this is to say that living in deliberate avoidance of stereotypes is still allowing stereotypes to control your life.

I’ve been just as quick as any other FA activist to pull out the “good fatty” argument. If someone tells me I wouldn’t be fat if I just exercised enough, I point to Jennifer Portnick, the size 16 aerobics instructor that works out 6 days a week and leads back-to-back classes. I offer up Fat Girl on a Bike as a fantastic example of someone who is at the peak of fitness without being thin. If someone pulls the “donuts and Twinkies” argument, I hit back with the fact that many fat people actually dislike rich or sugary foods, some are vegans, some control carefully for carbohydrates. This works well in those discussions where you know the other party is really not up to the mental exercise of actual science or math and needs a simple picture drawn for them. Now I wonder whether I’m helping or hurting FA by doing so.

So let’s look at reasons why.

FOR:

Every movement throughout history has sought “poster people” who defy stereotypes and give the average citizen a real face to identify. Symbols are important, as they are easier to quickly grasp than studies when so much conflicting information is competing for our attention. If you are a beautiful woman who happens to be fat, it not only challenges the concepts of beauty pushed by the cosmetics and fashion industries, but serves as a positive message to those who still hate their own bodies. If you dress neatly and fashionably as a fat person, it challenges the idea that fat people never care about their appearance, or the infuriating “letting yourself go” theory of why fat people allow themselves to exist. If you eat healthy and exercise, it challenges the myth that doing such will make anyone thin.

The bias and hysteria over fat is so pervasive and under-challenged in mainstream culture that any tiny chip in the armor of certainty is a victory. The response to "well you're not a triathlete you fatty mcfatfat!" should be something like "No I'm not. But I can point to that person to challenge your first assumption. Now that it's out of the way, we can work on your assumption that you have any right to know or judge MY body or how I live MY life." When it comes to stereotypes and prejudice, sometimes you have to divide and conquer.

If you feel like your particular role in FA is to always appear well-dressed and perfectly groomed, become a positive role model in the community through volunteer work, promote HAES, or otherwise represent fat people, then that can be a positive force in changing minds and breaking down assumptions.

AGAINST:

The healthy and positive use of representatives is a pretty narrow line to walk. The danger both within and without the FA community is the potential to start dividing fat people into “good fatties” and “bad fatties.” This is not inevitable, but it is a constant danger that takes vigilance to avoid.

A discussion I’ve seen in FA is whether there is a “cutoff” at which someone is too fat, even for a movement labeled “fat acceptance.” I believe this has a lot to do with ideas people have about the image of the movement and how it will be received, but the question itself is a trap. Do we start excluding diabetics and PCOS sufferers, contenting ourselves with seeking rights for the “healthy fat”? What about the fat people who actually do like donuts? Do we exclude anyone that might allow haters fuel for their vitriol? The answer is certainly “no”.

The risk from outside the FA movement is that people will use the division as confirmation by fatties themselves that only some fat people deserve equality. This could be used as an excuse to transfer all the bias from all the fatties onto a few, who will be more bereft of support than ever. The risk is even more divisive from within FA. If fat people themselves fall into the “good fattie, bad fattie” trap, we will alienate those within the movement who will most benefit from FA and most suffer from discrimination. FA is not about fighting for the rights of healthy fat people, it's about ensuring that every fat person is treated as a human being. Fat Acceptance cannot retain the title if it is not about fighting for human rights for every fat person, period. Sometimes the "good fatty" game can distract from that message, and alienate those who feel that it puts pressure on them to be something other than themselves in order to fit in.

CONCLUSION:

Any tool in the arsenal against fat hate is useful, but any tool can be used with positive or negative results. There has to be a clear, consistant caveat to any use of representation that regardless of whether a fat person has a healthy diet or not, dresses fashionably or not, exercises or not, is married or not, is intelligent or not, is gay, straight, bi, diabetic, struggling with an ED, mobility-challenged, vegan, omnivore, tall, short, black, white, or any other state of being in addition to being fat, they are still human beings. Their weight, dress code, IQ, eating habits, activities, sexual nature or physical health is none of anybody’s business. No one gets to quiz them on their health history or lifestyle before passing judgement on them, because no one has the right to pass judgement on them in the first place. Fat people deserve equal rights and respect not because they are healthy, pretty, fit, disease-free or any other qualifier, but because they are first and foremost human beings.

Friday, February 8, 2008

The Purpose of Movement

I'm glad I got my Friday fluff out of the way yesterday, because this subject came up and I wanted to get my thoughts together on it.

How awful is the assumption that the sole purpose of moving your body in new ways can only logically be to lose or prevent fat? Much like the medicinalizing of food, the "workout" mentality sucks the joy out of what should be joyful and creates punishment in what should be empowering.

The long and short is that I went hunting for a new Yoga DVD. I've been using a very basic beginner's training for a month now, but I'm ready to move beyond it. What I found was that it's difficult to find a Yoga DVD that doesn't advertise itself as promoting weight loss. I seriously found titles like Cardio-Yoga, Yoga Dance Fusion, or more directly, Fat-Burning Yoga Workout! (most of them had a lot of exclamation marks and chipper half naked people in leg-warmers on the covers.)

When I first chose to learn Yoga, it's appeal was the focus on physical power, energy, flexibility, and balance. It's supposed to be meditative. It's not supposed to promise ten minute abs. When did we turn so much play into work? What happened to taking a walk in order to enjoy the walk instead of just trying to get that heart rate elevated? How grim a world where we're so caught up in the aerobics of it that we no longer love to dance?

The only Yoga DVD on the shelf at Barnes and Nobles that wasn't about "visible toning" or "fat burning Yogercise" was called "Fluid Power" by Shiva Rea. It's Vinyasa Flow Yoga, and was labeled for experienced beginner to intermediate. Perfect, just challenging enough, and no mention of abs, fat, or tone. So while I could have gone to Amazon and found a lot of great options, I grabbed this one.

I'm a big believer in synchronicity, so it shouldn't have been a surprise to me when I opened the DVD and found that the first sentence of the booklet says "Infinite gratitude to Yemaya".

Those who don't know me need some background on this. Yemaya is the mother of waters in some Yoruban and their syncretic spiritual traditions. She's the Orisha who rules the oceans, and some of her gifts are healing, intuition, magic, feminine strength and mystery. She's also a power that I personally honor because her symbols or her name tends to appear unexpectedly when I particularly need to pay attention to something in my life, or to confirm that I'm doing something good for myself. Like now.

The method on the DVD is about tuning into your body's connection to water through intuitive free-form movement and asanas. The instructional portion talks about the concepts in terms of both vedic teachings and quantum physics, and there are different practices for different levels and purposes. There's even special prep work to get ready for the namaskars (sun salutations).

But this post isn't really about the DVD itself (as geeked about it as I am); It's about the purpose of movement. I do understand that everyone is wired differently. Some people get the same quieting of mind and purpose from free weight reps as I get from the warrior poses. That's great. After all, "some people juggle geese." It's the people who see either of those as some sort of trial to be endured for the greater good of skinny that bother me. If your body is an obstacle, or a recalcitrant prisoner to be beaten into submission, how can you ever learn to trust it? If it's an opponent to fight, how do you ever find harmony with it? If movement is work, as in workout, how do you ever find joy in it?

What ever happened to dancing?

There are great nights every summer when a circle of close friends all get together around a big bonfire. Sometimes we have enough drummers to get a good complex beat going; other times we have to rely on recorded music. But the best nights are when the energy is high and we kick of our shoes to dance. Yes, even us fat chicks. We're not working out or counting calories burned. We're not trying to impress anyone. We're not worried if we don't impress anyone. We just dance, and laugh, and sometimes spin fire. It's a celebration.

I can drag myself into a gym to use an elliptical machine for twenty minutes and barely be able to walk the next morning because I'm so sore. I hate it, and I hate gyms. They work for a lot of people who find their own form of meditation in circuit training, but I'm not one of them. On the other hand, I can dance (and we're talking raw tribal dance..you want to define aerobic?) for four hours or more to a constantly evolving drumbeat, and wake up without a single sore muscle. Some people have it the other way around. Maybe it's like intuitive eating, where your body will tell you what movement is most beneficial to you on a holistic level, even if that level or type of movement doesn't work for anyone else. All I know is that what I'm doing seems to be right for me.

For that, for the new-found respect for my body inherent in FA, and for the joy of movement... my "infinite gratitude to Yemaya."

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Recipe Box: Pico de Gallo, Guacamole, Chilaquiles

After my parents retired, they moved to Ajijic, a small town near Lake Chapala in the Jalisco state of Mexico. I visited them as often as I could afford it during the two years they lived there (they and my brother often helped me afford it!). Right now in the dregs of February, with the weather farking outside the window and threatening to dump another 6 inches of snow on top of the rising floodwaters, I wonder how irresponsible it would really be to use my credit card to hop a plane.

I remember the guys in pickup trucks full of ice that would drive around the neighborhood selling fish they caught that same morning. In Michigan you just don't get fresh shrimp. Ever. My parents grilled them outside with lime juice and a little garlic, then we had lunch in the garden with frosty margaritas and the smell of Jacaranda trees and old city carrying over the wall. The fruit was another marvel for a mid-westerner. I learned that oranges are supposed to be sweet, not sour and acidic. That's the difference of being allowed to ripen on the tree instead of in the truck. Orange mango juice from fresh picked fruit, pineapple that practically melts in your mouth, bananas with actual flavor...I think the lack of really fresh produce is the worst hardship of a Michigan winter. The stuff shipped up from other states tends to be green, sour, bland, or mealy. There's no dark fleshed plums that burst with juices when you bite into them. There's no green beans that steam up nice and crisp and taste like garden-grown bread. There's just the same tired staples under fluorescent lights, sprayed every ten minutes to look like they weren't shipped two thousand miles in the back of a diesel semi.

Every morning in Mexico you walked down to the Tortilleria and got a stack of handmade corn tortillas that served as a lesson in how to live without preservatives. The first day, stored in stone or clay baskets, they stayed soft enough to eat as tortillas. The next morning they were stiff and crumbly. You sliced them up to make chilaquiles in the morning (with scrambled eggs and leftover salsa), then quartered the rest to fry for corn chips. Then you took your basket and walked back down the cobblestone street to the Tortilleria, where the women wrapped your stack of warm tortillas in waxed paper to keep them fresh.

It was the same with salsa. You make fresh salsa at night to let the flavors really mix well. The next day you have delicious Pico de Gallo for almost any kind of dish or snack. The following morning you use it in chilaquiles, then add avocado to the rest for guacamole. Nobody does delicious leftovers like they do in Mexico.

So yeah, going to my warm happy place as I trudge through the snow, I decided to just go ahead and make a batch of fresh salsa for the Super-Tuesday C-span watching "party" on Tuesday. It tasted an awful lot like summer :-) Today it's just about ready to make into guac. If I can find any avacados.

Fresh Salsa (Pico de Gallo)

This is better if made at least an hour in advance, and best if made the night before and stored in the refrigerator. That gives the lime juice and salt time to draw the juices from the tomatoes and onions and really temper the flavors.

6-8 fresh roma tomatoes
2 medium red or yellow onions
3 limes
1 bunch fresh cilantro
2 jalapeno peppers (optional - more if desired)
1 tablespoon coarse (sea) salt

Cut tomatoes in half and scoop out (fingers or a spoon) the seed pulp (or as I call it: the nasty slimy bits)
Chop tomatoes into medium chunks (approx 1/4-1/2 inch)
Slice jalapenos lengthwise and carefully remove core and seeds. Rinse to remove all seeds.
chop jalapenos very finely
Peel onion and chop into medium chunks
remove cilantro stems and chop/shred leaves (approx 1 cup)
Juice the limes; you want about 3-4 tablespoons of juice

Mix all the ingredients well together.
Cover bowl tightly with wrap or lid and let sit in refrigerator at least an hour, preferably overnight.
Serve with a variety of corn chips.

This keeps for a couple days in the fridge, but not much longer. On the second morning, leftovers!

Guacamole:

Use the leftover salsa from above, add equal amounts of avocado.
Slice the avocado lengthwise and scoop out the meat and pit.
Set the pit aside
Use a fork to mash the avocado and salsa together. I like to leave it a little chunky so you can really taste the avacado.

If you're not serving immediately, guacamole will oxidize very quickly. It doesn't make it "bad", but it turns black and looks pretty gross. To prevent this, put the avocado pits back into the bowl, pressing them down into the top of the guacamole. Cover with saran wrap directly onto the dip and pits, leaving as little air as possible between the wrap and the guacamole. Who knows why, but the pits help prevent the dip from oxidizing.

Chilaquiles:

This was the best breakfast, even if it doesn't quite taste the same in winter :-) I've actually found that cooking it in well-seasoned cast-iron makes it taste more authentic:

For each serving:
2 Leftover soft corn (masa flour) tortillas
2 eggs, scrambled
2 Tablespoons salsa ranchero or 1/2 cup leftover Pico de Gallo
1 Tablespoon fresh cream (can substitute sour cream in the U.S.)
1 tablespoon fresh salsa (or to taste)
1 teaspoon olive oil
cut the tortillas into strips and cook in the oil on medium-high until crispy or browned
turn down heat
add eggs and salsa
cook over medium low heat until eggs are to your liking
serve with a dollop of fresh cream or sour cream and fresh salsa. This can be a main dish for breakfast or a "side dish" with eggs and toast

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Fat People Sports!

It's an old FAQ, but so far in my reading it's an excellent one!

Big Folks Sports and Activities FAQ

It goes through various sports and physical activities and talks about how to do them as a fat person. Considering my last post, I consider this find a sign that I'm on the right track. They've got a pretty good section on horseback riding. They also have a good section on caving, but while it sounds like a helluva blast, I doubt I have the time or money for the strength training and equipment it would require.

Wouldn't it be grand, though? :-)

I should get back down to Mammoth Cave this year. I used to go every summer as a kid.

Giving up the Fantasy

Thanks almost entirely to Kate Harding's eye-opening blog on The Fantasy of Being Thin, I've posted the following ad to Craig's List:


Looking for a place to take riding lessons or rent a horse for trail riding within 1/2 hour or so of the Kalamazoo/Portage area, either after 5pm or weekends. Specifically looking for a place with a sturdy horse (clyde, shire, quarter, etc.) that can carry a 300 pound fat chick. Grew up with horses but haven't ridden in 10 years. Willing and able to work as part of/in exchange for lessons (stall cleaning, stacking hay, grooming, some carpentry, etc.) Prefer private lessons or adult group with teacher who doesn't judge ability by body size. Frequency of lessons depends on schedule and price.


This is my fantasy of being thin.


I grew up with horses (two AQHA registered geldings), but had to give them both up when I went overseas in my senior year of high school. They went to good homes, and I went to Europe. No regrets, really. The exchange year was a once in a lifetime opportunity and did more to temper me than anything else I've ever done.

I did, however, miss the stable. Fiercely. While I was living in France I tried to take riding lessons, but their horses were too small and I was too heavy. I was at my thinnest in a very long time after swimming and walking every day, but at 6’2” I was pretty damn fit and still 280 pounds. To say I was too heavy to ride isn't fat hatred, just biology. Horses are not machines, and the average riding horse does risk back injury if they carry someone over 240 pounds.

So I made it my shiny, pretty, far-off star to reach for during the next three years. When I got down to 240, I would find a stable and ride again. When I got down to 240 I would finally take dressage lessons instead of the putz-around trail riding I was content to do as a kid. When I got down to 240, I would be a horsewoman, and content, and pretty, and happy, and free, and have no problems whatsoever.

Of course, as we all know, I would never get down to 240, and even if I did, only the first of that list would really change. Not even by swimming laps for an hour every morning before work, doing cardio and weight training every day after work, and eating the media perfect “healthy” diet chock full of veggies, whole grains and lean meats, would I ever maintain a weight below my body's set-point. I lived like that for two years in complete social isolation and never got within spitting distance of that goal weight. Nevermind the 180 pounds I was "supposed" to weigh according to the BMI chart maximum.

Now I have no idea what I weigh, and don't much care. I'm about a size 26/28 in most clothing lines now that my body's set point has "reset" higher from dieting. The one line I had to cross in accepting the FA state of mind was that I thought I had to give up on this one fantasy. I know there's a stereotype about fat girls who like horses, as if it's some kind of freudian defect to har har about. That I could get over. Giving it up would be a lot harder.

This one last dream never changed throughout my life, even when others (like doing the Wild Cave Tour spelunking trip at Mammoth Cave) came and went as motivators to chase thin. I loved going to fairs and horse shows just to walk up and down the aisles. I love the smell of dust and hay. I love to watch them move, I love to do all the little chores of grooming, clipping, brushing, braiding. I didn’t want to give up that part of my identity.

But maybe I don’t.

Now that I'm working my way through the stages of fat acceptance, I'm also learning to think outside the fantasy. For example, did you know that you can put a saddle on a Clydesdale? Also, quarter horses can come pretty big; Ours were 16 and 17 hands and they carried me just fine. Sure I'd need a step to mount until my leg muscles caught up to the jump, but does that matter so much? If I toss the fear that everyone will laugh at the fat chick on the horse, is there really any reason why I have to be six sizes smaller, just to grant myself permission to do something I love?

This is my fantasy of being thin.


And this is me letting go of it.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

On a personal note....

New Haiar fridge with adjustable glass shelves and humidity controlled produce drawers: $395.

Delivery, set up and haul away old fridge: $30

Knowing that next time I open the door the cilantro won't be frozen solid and the yogurt won't have completed it's short journey to becoming strawberry-botulism flavored cheese curd: priceless.

ahhhhhhhhh.....

Ok, I crunched a lot of numbers yesterday on the cost of health care, so today I get a break. At least until tonight when I turn on C-span for the primaries.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Big Fat Public Health Care Costs (Revised)

Ok, some people took umbrage with my math in my original post comparing the cost of obesity vs. the cost of the war on obesity. My math was pretty generalized, but then, so are the estimates thrown about by the media on what a fat person costs the taxpayers. My conclusion was that the U.K. is actually spending 35 Million GBP more on failed attempts to make people not fat than they claimed fat people actually cost the public health care system. E-mailers didn't like that.

So I dug deeper. I found more hard numbers, citations, data from the UK's National Audit Office, etc. What I realized part way through is that I'm arguing against fallacious methodology in the first place. The UK's estimate of what "obesity" costs the NHS each year is based on the cost of treating fat people for diseases they assume are caused by fat. The specific studies they use to determine this aren't listed, but considering no independent study (as in, not funded by pharmaceutical companies or weight loss clinics) has proven that fat causes a single disease (remember: correlation is not causation), and that more recent studies are showing that even correlation disappears in most cases when physical fitness is taken into account, I cannot accept their numbers estimating the "cost of obesity" to be valid in the first place.

So here's the revised breakdown, showing that instead of 35 Million GBP, the UK is actually wasting 324 Million GBP, or US $639,772,672.47 trying to make people no longer fat.

(update 2/5/08: Ironically, the day after I posted this, a supporting article came out on Junkfood Science. It analyzed a new study that shows fat people actually have fewer health care costs than thin people over a lifetime. Who'da thunkit?)

Big Fat Public Health Care Costs

It's a good year to be fat, especially if you're a shareholder of Roche or GlaxoSmithKline. According to a January, 2008 report the sale of prescription weight-loss drugs has undergone an eightfold increase since 1999. 1.06 million people in the U.K. are on some kind of prescription drug that promises to usher them into the exciting new world of fashionable thinness through unfortunate (and sometimes lethal) side effects. The majority of media coverage is touting this fact as a positive move, due to what they claim is the high cost of obesity to the public health service.

Claims of “the cost of obesity” vary wildly, from 1 Billion GPB to 40 Billion GBP per year. Few of these claims cite scientific sources; fewer still actually detail the methodology of arriving at that number. One of the few that does is the official Audit Office of the British Government. They say that obesity costs their country 500 million GBP per year. They come to that figure by researching various studies that show a correlation between adiposity and particular diseases. They then calculate the cost of treating the people in the “obese” category of the BMI scale for those diseases, adding in workdays lost through sickness and early death.

This sounds scientific until one considers the fact that thin people get those diseases too. It’s only in fat individuals that the disorder is blamed on the adipose tissue, rather than the likelier suspects of genetics, environment, stress and/or level of fitness. In other words, the estimated cost of obesity is based entirely on the false assumption that correlation equals causation, and that the disease being treated would not exist if obesity were eliminated. (2001 NAO report by the Comptroller and Auditor General).

If, as many studies independent of the pharmaceutical industry are now showing, fatness has little or no bearing on health when fitness is taken into account, this estimate of 500 million GBP disappears entirely. But let’s look at some numbers that do not disappear quite so easily.
According to the NHS (National Health Service), they spend $47.5 Million GBP on prescription weight loss medication, primarily Orlistat and Sibutramine.

According to the British Obesity Surgery Patient Association, an average of 10,000 weight loss surgeries are performed in the UK each year. An average cost for WLS (without complications) is 10,000 GBP. Complications arise in an average of 16% of cases, more than doubling the cost of the treatment. So, on average, the UK can expect to spend approximately 116 Million GBP per year on WLS procedures, not counting lost workdays and the cost of the much-shortened lifespan of WLS patients.

34 Million GBP has been allocated annually to local primary care trusts for obesity prevention programs.

124 Million GPB has been allocated per year over three years for the new 5-point plan for obesity prevention, including programs targeting the gaming industry

2.5 Million GBP has been allocated for the NHS to offer free dance and boxing classes to obese individuals.

So far we’re up to 324 Million GBP, or 64% of the original 500 million GBP expenses blamed on obesity. As no hard numbers were available, I did not account for the cost of TV ads, NHS doctor consultations and monitoring of diets, supplements for programs such as Weight Watchers, government grants for studies, the time and expense of schools to weigh and measure students or police their lunch boxes for snacks, or the billable hours of elected and appointed officials to study, brainstorm, argue, and fight for anti-obesity policies.

In other words, the “cost of obesity” could be better labeled as the “cost of the war on obesity”. The British government is spending 324 Million GBP, or US $639,772,672.47) on failed attempts to make their citizens not fat. So who is really costing whom?

Imagine what all that time and money could do to benefit every citizen if it were spent on HAES instead of hate?

One survivor in Lane Bryant shooting

Police have confirmed that a sixth woman in the Tinley Park store shooting on Sunday survived the incident and was released from the hospital. They don't release any information on her, however, since she's in protective custody until the killer is caught.

Other stores in the mall are open today, and some of the employees are speculating about the motive for the shooting, which left five women dead in the Lane Bryant store. Police say it's a robbery, but some have pointed out that the clothing store wouldn't have much cash on hand. Officials are investigating whether one of the women might have known the gunman.

The dead include store manager McFarland, 42, of Joliet; Connie R. Woolfolk, 37, a real estate broker from Flossmoor; Carrie Hudek Chiuso, 33, a social worker from Frankfort; Sarah Szafranski, 22, a paralegal and graduate of Oak Forest High School; and Jennifer L. Bishop, 34, a nurse from South Bend, Ind., who accompanied her husband to a convention in Tinley Park.

One of the women did apparently try to fight the attacker. Relatives who claimed her body say she had blood under her fingernails and was badly beaten. Thanks to her efforts, they may have DNA to help convict the killer.

Lane Bryant is offering a $50,000 reward.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Shooting at Lane Bryant

5 women were killed at a Lane Bryant in Chicago's Tinley Park around 10:44 am this morning. Police believe that the motive was robbery, and are still looking for the gunman. At least one victim was an employee of the store. Another victim was identified as Carrie Hudek, a 33 year old social worker from Frankfort. The other victims names have not been released, as the families have not yet been notified. They ranged in age from 24 to 40.

The store did not have a surveillance camera, but police are searching surveillance footage from other stores in the area, hoping to catch a glimpse of the killer.

My hope is that the world of pundits and bloggers treat this as the tragedy it is, and remember the humanity of the victims and their families. My sincere sympathy is with them in their time of loss.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Are health risks of fat exaggerated? (well duh!)

The health risks attributed to fat exaggerated from shaky conclusions and a misinterpreted causal relationship? Say it ain't so! :-) Seems like I've heard something like this before, just not sure where....

The Star Tribune in Minneapolis published a quiet little piece about a recent British Medical Journal debate where, wonder of wonders, a couple of rogue experts are actually disputing the epidemic and dangers of fat.

The article, "Are the health risks of obesity overblown?" is available to view once before you have to buy a subscription, so be sure to print it off. (note: if you delete your browser cookies you can read it again.) It features the highlights of a debate between two sets of scientists. One trots out the same tired old propaganda (OMGDIABETES!!!)

The other?


"Media claims about an epidemic ... often exceed the scientific evidence and mistakenly suggest an unjustified degree of certainty."

Really? huh. You mean having breasts doesn't mean I'll automatically get diabetes? Whoda thunk it?

Wait, there's more!

"...The death rates from heart disease and stroke have been falling, not rising. There's no direct evidence that excess fat causes diabetes. "We argue ... that obesity is a symptom of Type 2 diabetes, rather than a cause," said Luik in an e-mail interview. "For instance, changes in physical activity and diet reduce diabetes risk even without loss of weight. How does this support a cause and effect relationship?"

Holy crap on a cracker, Batman! You mean they're still teaching the difference between correlation and causation at those fancy medical schools these days? I would jump up and do a happy dance, but I think the guy at the copier would look at me funny :-)

"Health advocates have resorted to "deliberate exaggeration or, indeed, misrepresentation of the risks" of obesity."
Who cares what the guy at the copier thinks? *HAPPY DANCE!*

Oh, and it's a relief to know that Mememe doesn't get to dance on the graves of the fat people:

Isn't Obesity Deadly? "The evidence is not as strong as you might think. In 1997, the National Institutes of Health found that thin men had the same risk of dying prematurely as overweight men. Any increase in risk is relatively small compared to, say, smoking. "Despite the supposedly abnormal levels of overweight and obesity, life expectancy continues to increase," the two wrote in the British Medical Journal.
Huh...I think I've heard that one before as well....where could it have been? Oh well, I'm sure my memory would improve if I just lost 50 pounds, right?

narf.

In the meantime, Patrick Basham and John Luik are the co-authors of a book that's going right on my Amazon wish list: "Diet Nation: Exposing the Obesity Crusade." It's only available in the UK so far, but I may be able to track it down through the library.

More articles from the same authors:

http://www.forces.org/research/luik/luikintr.htm
http://democracyinstitute.org/Obesity.html

Thursday, January 31, 2008

How to contact the sponsors of Mississippi HB 282

In case you missed it, this is the bill that would forbid restaurants from serving food to anyone considered obese.

If you'd like to contact those responsible for this particularly loathesome brainchild, here's how:

Lead Author: Representative W. T. Mayhall, Jr. (R)

Contact Information:

Capitol:
P. O. Box 1018
Jackson, MS 39215

Home:
8417 Cedarbrush Drive
Southaven, MS 38671

(662)393-2069 (H)
(901)734-9540 (C)

tmayhall@house.ms.gov

Co-Author: Representative Bobby Shows (D)

Capitol:
P. O. Box 1018
Jackson, MS 39215

Home:
P. O. Box 373
Ellisville, MS 39437

(601)477-9225 (H)
(601)477-3956 (W)

bshows@house.ms.gov


Co-Author: Representative John Read (R)

Contact Information:

Capitol:
P. O. Box 1018
Jackson, MS 39215

Home:
2396 Robert Hiram Drive
Gautier, MS 39552

(228)497-9852 (H)
(228)497-4090 (W)

jread@house.ms.gov

As a disclaimer, I'm not advocating hate mail, vandalism or anything else illegal or ethically questionable in posting this info. I do think that some informational letters and literature would maybe help to gently correct some ignorant thinking here.

A bill to prevent fat people from eating in public!?

I know I've done this before, but ...

SERIOUSLY!?

SERIOUSLY!?

When I first read this one over at Junkfood Science, I had to double check to make sure the guest writer wasn't from The Onion. Or even the great new Fat Satire (FatSat?) site The Health Institute for Nutrition. I couldn't believe this was something real, or that any elected official could honestly expect to pass legislation that would forbid restaurants from serving food to fat people. That the constitution could somehow allow a state to yank the license of a business that chose to seat anyone who wanted to eat there.

Really, aren't they leaping ahead? Shouldn't they first establish a Fat Section and a Not-Fat section? They could even have completely separate facilities, so that thin people don't have to use the same water fountain. After all, fat is contagious, right?

end sarcasm.

My first reaction, of course, was a cold finger of ice up my spine. Sure they'll never pass it, it can't be anything but a gesture. But the fact that such a gesture can come from a person in a position of authority makes me very, very glad I live in Michigan. *

Basically this stump bill states that the Mississippi department of health is responsible for giving every restaurant in the state information on how to tell if someone is obese. They're non-specific as to how, but I'm sure it'll be easy. After all, isn't it easy to tell how much someone weighs by looking at them? They are then obligated to refuse to serve the bad fatty mcFatFat, and if they dare to do otherwise, their license to serve food at all could be revoked. Then once the fat people can no longer eat in public, they will starve down to a weight that doesn't offend the delicate sensibilities of fat-haters.

Oh wait....grocery stores...and genetics!

curses! foiled again!

So...should we start laying plans for the lunch counter sit-in's now, or wait to see if it dies without fanfare? I don't relish Mississippi in the summer, but it might actually be more effective if we're all in shorts and tank tops.

The funniest headdesk-hysterical part is that the bill would enact three days before the fourth of July.

Happy Independence Day.

Get it?

Ha.

* Michigan’s Elliott Larsen Civil Rights Act prohibits discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age (any age), height, weight, or marital status.

Big Fat public health care costs - a breakdown

It's a good year to be fat, especially if you're a shareholder of Roche or GlaxoSmithKline. Apparently the sale of prescription weight-loss drugs has undergone an eightfold increase since 1999. 1.06 million people in the U.K. are on some kind of prescription drug that promises to usher them into the exciting new world of fashionable thinness through heart palpitations or uncontrollable loose bowels. Why all this fuss?

Why, for the burden of obesity on public health care! The article claims that obesity will cost the U.K. 45.5 billion GBP a year by 2050. They arrive by this highly scientific number by a careful weighing of the cost of every disease obesity is supposed to cause, multiplied by the estimated likelihood that the person with that disease is fat. After all, correlation is always causation, so every fat person with heart disease has only their fat to blame. They run the data through a highly calibrated publicly-funded magic 8 ball to arrive at the 45.5 billion GBP figure. Oh, did I mention that they include the cost of the research to stigmatize fat people into the cost of obesity? Sort of like suing people and tacking on your own lawyer's fee for the trouble it took to do so.

So let's break this down.

A one-month supply of the popular weight-loss drug Xenical is 102.792 GBP at drugstore.com. Let's use that as an estimate. After all it's just as scientific as their numbers.

A one year supply of Xenical is 1233.50 GBP. Multiply that by the 1.06 million people and you are spending 1,307,510,000 GBP per year on weight loss drugs in the UK. That's on the public dole.

Weight loss surgeries have increased dramatically as well. In 2005 there were 4400 surgeries performed in the UK. Since that's the most recent hard number I could find, I'll go with that. After all, we want to be scientific. An average cost for WLS (without complications) is 10,000 GBP. So, in 2005, the UK spent maybe 44,000,000 GBP on WLS procedures.

Now the 45 billion GBP projected for 2050 is a projection, of course. Right now the same study states that "obesity" costs the public health system a whopping 1 billion GBP per year.

So let's break this down. Let's be unscientific and set aside the fact that correlation is not causation and that the cost estimates are radically skewed in the first place as they have no evidence that any of the diseases used in the estimate are actually CAUSED by fat. Only that some fat people have those diseases. (as do some thin people...coincidence?) They also generally fail to take into account the studies that show that fat has protective aspects that reduce the occurrence of certain diseases, and therefore LOWER health care costs in those instances. So let's accept the magic 8 ball numbers and say for argument's sake that fat costs the British Health system 1 billion a year. Let's fudge in the other direction to really be generous with our estimates and not take into account the cost of government staff and resources to enact anti-fat policy, police lunchboxes, lobby for new food labeling guidelines throughout the EU, and other "hidden" costs of the war on obesity.

If fat costs the UK 1 billion GBP a year, and failed attempts to make people not fat costs the UK a highly conservative 1.35 billion GBP a year, doesn't that mean the attempt to solve the problem costs the taxpayers 35,000,000 GBP more than the cost of the original problem?

Doesn't that mean that the UK could very conservatively save itself 35 million GBP a year (approx. US$69,537,012.28 at the current exchange rate) by simply ending the war on fat?

I wonder, if they plowed that 35 million into promotion of HAES, fresh foods in schools, pedestrian-friendly cities, etc.....would they also eliminate the so called "cost of obesity"? A lot of studies are now showing that when lifestyle is taken into account, active and fit fat people (even the "morbidly obese) have the same relative lifespan and health as active and fit thin people.

coincidence?

I think not.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

My first photo-shoot

I'm very geeked, the pics from the photo shoot with my friend Breanna came back. It's my first experience modeling for a real photographer who will actually use the pieces in her art.

This one's my favorite, and is definitely my new profile shot:






I'm told that if the subject actually likes 1 in 10 pics from a photo shoot then its a resounding success. That makes this session much better than average. What kills me is that a year ago I would have begged her to delete this because it didn't hide every curve and find that perfect angle that made me look like Angelina Jolie. Is there even such an angle? Who cares? I look damn good in trickster colors. :-)


The best part of posing for her is that she has a great eye for color, and she's a fellow fattie so she knows when I'll be unhappy with a particular shot.
I can't wait for summer so we can do some outdoor sessions.

Fighting for Civility

In the midst of my news searches over the weekend, I apparently missed a complete gem of an editorial that's too good to pass up.

Lucinda Breeding of the Denton Record-Chronicle wrote a piece on Fat Acceptance this past Sunday that I plan to print off and add to my affirmations scrapbook. It's the first really good media response to the New York Times piece on the Fatosphere and if this woman isn't already in the FA movement, I sure hope we can convince her.

"It doesn’t take too much time spent lurking on the blogs to see why they liken their struggles to a fight for civil rights.
In fact, they are fighting for our civility."

How perfectly expressed! That really is the point behind everything the FA movement stands for...that fat people have the right to be treated as human beings. Isn't that the core of civility, to treat people with decency, as human beings instead of objects? We've made a lot of progress towards that goal since the rough beginnings of our culture, but we're certainly far from perfection.

That of course reminds me of Ghandi's quote when asked what he thought of Western Civilization: "I think it would be a very good idea."

"If you’re sedentary and fat, you’re a sinner. If you’re fat and manage two trips to the gym each week, you’re cheating. If you’re a triathlete and fat, you’re destroying your body. Not that the critics have degrees in theology or sports medicine."

Apparently in Denton, TX there's at least one paper willing to print an editorial calling the critics out on their own turf. Bravo!

This particular paragraph slams M. Roth by name and points out her hypocrisy. I'm starting to wonder if Meme isn't FA's best friend, if she's going to continue to make fat hatred look so frantic and ridiculous.

I'd be pretty surprised if Lucinda Breeding isn't a Shapeling in the making. She mentions in her editorial that she's been lurking around the Fatosphere since the NYT article came out. If this is an example of how she expresses herself, I hope she does more than lurk.