Friday, April 25, 2008

The latest greatest diet: Rotavirus

The gist of a conversation overheard by my desk at work:


Woman: The doctor said I have viral gastroenteritis. I just can't keep
anything in me so I'm pretty much on clear liquids.

Man: That can't be good.

Woman: Actually I've lost 8 pounds so far! It's not how I'd choose to
do it, but I sure did need it.

Man: Well then, at least something good's come of it.

Ok let's bypass the part where this woman is at work with an incredibly contagious disease and touching all the office equipment (phone, copier, postage meter, etc.) that I and others (including several pregnant women) have to use. Let's even bypass the part where she could have at least sprung for some clorox wipes to carry around and wipe down any common surfaces she touches. That's a lot to expect anyways from someone who doesn't even wash their hands after using the bathroom (whole 'nother rant). Let's jump right to the part where she's happy she contracted this horribly contagious, very uncomfortable disease that provokes constant and violent episodes of diarrhea....simply because she's 8 pounds lighter.

Are you f***ing kidding me!?

First of all, it's probably water weight from the dehydration of diarrhea. Secondly, there's no way of maintaining weight lost from a forced starvation liquid diet and the equivalent of a laxative purge. Thirdly, has the myth of thin=health really gotten so bad that people would rather be very slightly and unnoticably thinner than, say, not trapped in a bathroom fighting intestinal cramps and liquid poo?

Serious and absolute *headdesk*

The man never even blinked at the idea that being a whole 8 pounds lighter was a benefit outweighing the drawbacks of Rotavirus. Who ever said that the myth of thin doesn't cross gender lines?

It's also creeping me out considerably that this non-hand-washing disease carrier had just been sitting at my desk, using my computer, touching my phone and keyboard while I ran an errand for her division. My IRL friends will now be laughing at the mental image of a Zim-like episode involving lysol and a full-body biohazard suit.

Must now bathe my keyboard and mouse in rubbing alcohol.

10 comments:

Twistie said...

I want to Clorox down my workstation and I work from home! Sheesh!

People, when you've got a contagious disease STAY HOME IN BED, PLEASE!!!

liz said...

I'm sending along some (virtual) Lysol. Spend a relaxing five minutes imagining her using the Clorox and the Lysol at the same time. Ahhhh. I

liz said...

I don't know why I left an extra letter at the end there.

cyn said...

Earlier today I was with my friends and we were talking about a classmate of ours who is a leukemia survivor. They didn't know she had leukemia. They thought she had breast cancer "because she had no boobs". (AAARGGGGH!!!)
I said "no, she has always been that small and that skinny". Apparently they put everything I said on mute and only heard when I said "skinny", and somehow related it to a consecuence to leukemia, so they said this: "Leukemia: the way to go!" as in "leukemia: the best diet!". (DOUBLE AAARGGGHHH!!!)

Sometimes I wonder why they're still my friends.

fatadelic said...

Eeew. Both to walking around the office with an infectious disease (how inconsiderate!) and the idea that being sick like this is worth the 8 pounds she has lost. What has she been doing? Climbing on the scale each time she's had to dash to the bathroom? Lord give me strength.

Lindsay said...

Having spent the last 8 or so years working in call centers, i am very sensitive to the "keep your sick ass away from the workplace" thing. In an environment where people do nothing but talk all day, it's like working in a petri dish. :P

Fat, despite popular myth, is not contagious. Viral gastroenteritis IS.

DavitaCuttita said...

Someone needs to slap that careless lady in the face with a bucket of Lysol and get her a cheeseburger...STAT!!

Lady Jaye said...

If you do get gastroenteritis from that woman, lodge a complaint against her to your employer.

I've had gastroenteritis before, and I forced myself into a quarantine for a few days... And frankly, losing any (water) weight over throwing up and/or diarrhea is not even something I'd think of. I remember the weakness I felt, the fact that I couldn't even hold down liquids, and it's definitely something I wouldn't wish on anyone.

*headdesk* indeed.

Breanna said...

OMFG... Why the heck are they letting her work while she is contagious. Does your office not care? Does she not care. Someone needs to run the woman's leg over with a car. That way she will be off work for the broken leg at least. Okay that's a bit harsh but for pete's sake. And on top of that.. to think that anything even like that is a good way to lose weight. Get a club by four people.

Picturing Jo at her desk in Zim hazmat suit.. yeah that's.. great...

Anonymous said...

I just discovered your blog,so I'm responding to a very old post. I wish I'd found this earlier. Anyway, that woman's thought process reminded me of my mother so much. She came home from the hospital once, very happy that she was finally below 200 lbs for the first time since high school. She was dying. Her kidneys had quit. She was blind. She was numb to the elbows and numb to the knees. (all diabetic complications) But nothing mattered so much as the fact that she was BELOW 200 LBS!!
She died 2 weeks later, and that's when I decided to give up dieting for the rest of my life.